The Sad Man’s Kama Sutra

Comic: "The Sad Man's Kama Sutra"
Illustration by "Monstro-Draw"; click to see it on its original page.


Been There, Done That

A reader commented that since the Ginger Ninja and I started dating, I haven’t been posting too many blog entries under a category where I used to post a lot of stories: “Yeah…Girls…Geez”. He’s right, and I’ll see what I can do about it.

Here’s a comic that fits under the “Yeah…Girls…Geez”. We’ve all been here before, haven’t we?

“Bad boy” relationship comic featuring a couple snuggling in bed.

I used to get burned by my own “Nice Guy Syndrome” in situations like this until my mid/late twenties. That’s when I adopted the new doctrine I like to call “Just Evil Enough”, which I paired with the doctrine that my old roommate Paul and I developed, “Just Gay Enough (the motto: “We dress nicely, we cook, we don’t take it up the pipe”).

Learn the lesson from that old Star Trek episode where a transporter accident splits Captain Kirk into his “light” and “dark” side — his command and mackin’ skills came from his dark side. Embrace your dark side and own it, but don’t let it own you.

(An aside: a number of people who’ve seen this comic commented on the “boob grab” in the third panel. I said “The double boob grab followed by moving them as if they were an accordion doesn’t win you any points. But I gotta be me!” See? That’s just evil enough.)


The Seven Minute Rule, as Explained by “Tip Me Over, Pour Me Out”

One of the things I noticed at Tom and Michele’s housewarming party (which I covered in this entry and this entry) was that the people there, whether or not they realized it, seemed to be observing the Seven Minute Rule, pictured below:

Excerpt from the webcomic “Tip Me Over Pour Me Out”: “The Seven Minute Rule”
Click the comic to see the full version on its original page.

As the comic excerpt above puts it:

…if you’re a girl with a boyfriend and you meet a guy at a party, you MUST make a reference to your boyfriend within the first seven minutes of conversation.

Girls with boyfriends are shameless abusers of the long-flirt. Since they already have someone to go home to, they don’t have to float from guy to guy searching for meat. Because of this, the guys they talk to mistakenly believe the girls are interested in them, ESPECIALLY when they talk for hours without mentioning their boyfriends.

The excerpt above comes from Tip Me Over, Pour Me Out, an autobiographical webcomic written by Raphael Bob-Waksberg and illustrated by Lisa Hanawalt. Being a rather relaxed kind of guy, I find neurosis highly amusing and Bob-Waksberg’s ability to tell a funny yarn makes it doubly so (he’s part of a comedy troupe called Olde English). Tip Me Over, Pour Me Out has been finding its stride in its most recent episodes; I’m going to be keeping an eye on this webcomic.

Accordion, Instrument of the Gods

Once Again, a Reminder About the Accordion

The ladies love the accordion. Would a 1960’s comic lie?

Old 1960’s comic in which the accordion player is the “center of attraction” at a teen party.
Comic courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

It Happened to Me

Blast from the Past: “Worst Date Ever”

Group photo from
A scene from Worst Date Ever, Part 4, just before it all went to Hell. I’m the guy with the only unblurred face; in the front row are Crabs, The Waitress and me.

Old Blog Entries? Why?

One of the downsides of switching domains (from to and blogging tools is that all the links to my old blog entries have changed completely. I’ve received a number of emails from readers who’ve bookmarked old entries of mine only to find that when they visit those bookmarks, they hit the “can’t find it” page.

So, over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to point to some of my best entries over the past six or so years. If you’re a long-time reader, go enjoy them again! If you’re relatively new to this blog, I think you’ll be in for a treat.

The Best Christmas Present Ever and Worst Date Ever

The first set of stories I’ll point to is Worst Date Ever, which took place around the spring of 1999. It starts with a bout of loneliness and turns into a story complete with strong language, adult situations, a bar brawl, butterscotch schnapps, iambic pentameter and ABBA.

Start with The Best Christmas Present Ever, which features my friend Crabs, who figures prominently in the Worst Date Ever story. While it’s not likely to ever be turned into a Hallmark Cards Christmas Special on TV, I think it’s a pretty good story about the true meaning of Christmas, and the only Yuletide story featuring crab lice.

Then, you can hit the Worst Date Ever entries…

I hope this provides you with some entertaining weekend reading. Enjoy!

Accordion, Instrument of the Gods It Happened to Me

Accordions: Still More Dangerous Than the Internet

As sensational as the topic of cyberbullying is in light of the Kathy Sierra incident, I believe it’s still the exception rather than the rule. Here are the statistics on threats I have received:

Number of times I have received threats because of my accordion playing on the street: 6 since May 1, 1999, the day I first took the accordion out on the street.

Number of times I have received threats because of my blogging: 1 since November 10, 2001, the day of my first blog post. The threat (a vague one at that) is chronicled in the article At Last, My Blog Lands Me in Hot Water!.

Number of people who’ve taken joy in my misfortunes online: Only one that I’m aware of. She wrote in response to the article What happened to me and the new girl (or, “The girl who cried Webmaster”), one of my weirder moments. Go read the article if you’ve never done so before; I’ll write more about the online schadenfreude later.

Laugh All You Want, This Has Always Worked for Me…

How-to chart for talking to the girlfriend or wife, where the answer is always 'Here, have some chocolate.
Chart courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.