The Current Situation

They never give you enough

Florida The Current Situation

Florida Vaccine Update

In case you haven’t heard, here’s the latest news on COVID-19 vaccine eligibility in Florida:

  • If you’re 50 or older, you’re eligible to get the vaccine right now!
  • If you’re between the ages of 40 and 50, you have to wait only a couple of days — starting this coming Monday, March 29th, the minimum age for eligibility drops to 40.
  • If you’re between the ages of 18 and 40, you’ve got just over a week to wait. Two Mondays from now, on Monday, April 5th, any adult will be able to get the vaccine.
Want to find out where you can get vaccinated? The Florida Department of Health has an online vaccine site locator.
The Current Situation

Expect cringey apologies like this for the next few weeks

“In your heart?” More like up your ass.

In light of the increased violence against Asians, expect to see this sort of crisis-management mea culpa-ing over the next few weeks.

From Variety:

“At the time I did those jokes, I genuinely thought them to be harmless,” Leno said in a joint press release with MANAA leader Guy Aoki. “I was making fun of our enemy North Korea, and like most jokes, there was a ring of truth to them.”

Leno continued, “At the time, there was a prevailing attitude that some group is always complaining about something, so don’t worry about it. Whenever we received a complaint, there would be two sides to the discussion: Either ‘We need to deal with this’ or ‘Screw ‘em if they can’t take a joke.’ Too many times I sided with the latter even when in my heart I knew it was wrong.”

Word to the wise, Jay: Just say “sorry”, do better from now on, and spare us the “Deep down, I’m a good person” schtick. There is no “deep down” — it’s what you do that makes you good or bad.

The Current Situation

Hey, envirodorks: You should’ve opened with THIS warning!

Talk about burying the lede! Had environmental scientists opened with a warning like “Human penises are shrinking because of pollution”, we would’ve been a zero-emissions, zero-waste, well-endowed world decades ago.

The Current Situation Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Steal this idea: Toronto restaurant renames its burgers as office supplies so you can expense them

This story’s been making the rounds in my former home town of Toronto: Good Fortune Bar (currently operating as Good Fortune Burger during the pandemic) has cleverly renamed their burgers so that they look like office supplies you can expense:

This burger… …goes by the expense item-y name:
Diamond Chicken Burger Mini Dry Erase Whiteboard
Double Your Fortune Burger Ergonomic Aluminum Laptop Stand
Emerald Veggie Burger Wired Earphones with Mic
BYO (build your own) Burger Silicone Keyboard Cover

Jon Purdy, Good Fortune Burger’s Director of Operations says that it’s all in good fun and hints that you probably shouldn’t try expensing them: “There’s no malice intended in it, it’s all just fun and games.”

Seminole Heights’ seal, which depicts a two-headed alligatorStill, it’s a fun idea that’s worth stealing for your own food or drink business. Seminole Heights eateries and drinkeries, do it! I’d love to buy some HDMI Cable Stout from 7venth Sun Brewery or a Webcam Ring Light Burrito Bowl from Xtreme Tacos!

The Current Situation

More evidence for my “We live in a simulation and someone left the intern in charge” theory

Headline and photo from The Guardian: “Experience: Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina candle erupted in my front room”
Click to read the story.
Florida of the Day The Current Situation

Florida of the Day: “How it started / How it’s going”, the Spring Break edition

How it started:

How it’s going: