You learn something new every day

rain creates wet roads


For Leap Day, a story about the Waiter Rule and its “Florida Man” origins

walt bettinger breakfast

Charles Schwab CEO Walt Bettinger (left), breakfast (right).

definitely floridaFor the past couple of weeks, there’ve been a number of articles pointing to this New York Times interview with Walt Bettinger, CEO of Charles Schwab, in which he talks about his breakfast interview technique for reviewing prospective hires:

“I’m most concerned with the kind of person they are, their character. I’ll ask questions like, ‘Tell me about the greatest successes in your life.’ What I’m looking for is whether their view of the world really revolves around others or whether it revolves around them. And I’ll ask them about their greatest failures in their life and see whether they own them or whether they were somebody else’s fault.”

“One thing I’ll do sometimes is to meet someone for breakfast for the interview. I’ll get there early, pull the manager of the restaurant aside, and say, ‘I want you to mess up the order of the person who’s going to be joining me. It’ll be O.K., and I’ll give a good tip, but mess up their order.’”

“I do that because I want to see how the person responds. That will help me understand how they deal with adversity. Are they upset, are they frustrated or are they understanding? Life is like that, and business is like that. It’s just another way to get a look inside their heart rather than their head.”

“We’re all going to make mistakes. The question is how are we going to recover when we make them, and are we going to be respectful to others when they make them?”

It’s a good trick, and for those of you who are interviewing for jobs should be advised that it’s making the rounds in a number of publications, which means that it may be used a little more heavily for the next few weeks.

Haven’t I seen this somewhere before?

The story gave me deja vu, and a little Googling later, I found this USA Today article from 2006, which opens with this story about Office Depot’s then-CEO, from his days waiting tables:

Office Depot CEO Steve Odland remembers like it was yesterday working in an upscale French restaurant in Denver.

The purple sorbet in cut glass he was serving tumbled onto the expensive white gown of an obviously rich and important woman. “I watched in slow motion ruining her dress for the evening,” Odland says. “I thought I would be shot on sight.”

Thirty years have passed, but Odland can’t get the stain out of his mind, nor the woman’s kind reaction. She was startled, regained composure and, in a reassuring voice, told the teenage Odland, “It’s OK. It wasn’t your fault.” When she left the restaurant, she also left the future Fortune 500 CEO with a life lesson: You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats the waiter.

A plagiarizing CEO’s million-dollar mistake

bill swanson and waiter

An actual photo of former Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson and a waiter, posed for USA Today.

You might think that it’s CEOs all the way down, because the article points to a book that Raytheon gave away, titled Swanson’s Unwritten Rules of Management, written by then-CEO Bill Swanson. It features 33 rules very home-spun, down-to-earth-sounding maxims for managers, number 32 of which is “The Waiter Rule”:

32. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person. (This rule never fails).

It turned out that Swanson’s rules weren’t really Swanson’s. It turned out that in April 2006, Raytheon had to issue a press release with the usual mitigating language that admitted that Swanson plagiarized many of his rules from W.J. King’s The Unwritten Laws of Engineering, a 1944 book that at least one engineering prof of mine at Crazy Go Nuts University cited in class.

According to the New York Times, 17 out of the 33 rules in Swanson’s book– for the math-challenged, that’s more than half — were lifted verbatim from The Unwritten Laws of Engineering. As punishment, Raytheon froze his 2006 salary at its 2005 level and reduced his restricted stock award by 20 percent, which an anonymous insider said cut his compensation for that year by about a million dollars.

It doesn’t end there. The first of the rules that Swanson said were his was “Learn to say ‘I don’t know.’ If used when appropriate, it will be used often,” and it’s a word-for-word copy of one of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s “Rumsfeld Rules”, which appeared in a 2001 Wall Street Journal article (the original’s no longer online, but the rules were reposted here).

And finally, the Florida connection…

As for the Waiter Rule, it turns out to be wisdom that Swanson likely lifted from a Florida Man. He’s one of Florida’s wisest men, but he’s still a man who lives in Florida:

dave barry turns 50

In Dave Barry Turns 50, a book published in 1999 and that I suspect I will be given at least once on my 2017 birthday, he includes this pearl of wisdom:

If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person.

And there you have it: a little bit of Florida Man-related news that isn’t embarrassing. Happy Leap Day, everyone!

Recommended Reading

Want to waste some additional time online today? Take a look at this entry from TV Tropes: Nice to the Waiter.


Florida of the Day: Florida Man chews off fingerprints so cops can’t ID him; forgets about his distinctive tattoos

florida man chews off fingertips

definitely floridaKirk Kelly, a man on Tampa’s most wanted list, was pulled over by police in Tallmage, a town in northeast Ohion, at a traffic stop at 3 a.m.. The cops became suspicious when he provided two fake IDs and used his brother’s name, and one of them mentioned using a mobile fingerprinting device to identify him. Hearing this, Kelly, who wasn’t handcuffed at the time, chewed the pads off his fingertips.

It didn’t do him any good, since the photo above shows that Kelly has a distinctive set of tattoos, including some that clearly mark him as a Tampa thug, which were used to identify him. In case you were wondering, he has a nationwide felony warrant out for drug, weapons and racketeering charges, and Tampa police believe he sold guns that were used in multiple murders.


Illiteracy revisited (or: Time magazine lists Evelyn Waugh among “the 100 most read female writers”)

evelyn waugh mistaken for woman

A journalist friend of mine once described Time magazine’s approach as one of “sustained obviousness”. It’s an approach that helps it sell magazines and get online eyeballs, but one that also favors writers who specialize in crafting link-bait-y, sound-bitey phrases rather than more rounded, well-read ones. Hence their recent goof-up in their recent article, These Are the 100 Most-Read Female Writers in College Classes, where they listed Evelyn Waugh.

Evelyn — pronounced EVE-uh-linn — Waugh was a man. Lots of people make this mistake, which was used to great effect in this scene from Lost in Translation:

…and Time magazine contributor David Johnson (who wrote the article) can at least take a little comfort in knowing that even an erudite publication, the Times Literary Supplement, referred to him as “Miss Waugh”. Not to be too charitable, I must point out that this is before Waugh became well-known. Johnson may also be surprised that Waugh’s first wife was a woman named Evelyn. (I understand Waugh’s experience, having had an all-too-short dalliance with a girl who went by “Joey”.)

Time has since corrected the goof-up, even noting it at the bottom of the article. I think we should all pinky-swear not to tell them about Alice Cooper, so we can have a hilarious article about the top women in rock.

Bonus literary supplement: Sir John Gielgud reads Brideshead Revisited

With the possible exception of Graham Greene, it doesn’t get more well-written, stoically English, and Catholic guilt-trippy than Waugh’s Brideshead Revisited. Here’s an abridged version read by Sir John Gielgud — enjoy!


A 1,000-foot water slide is coming to Tampa on May 14th!

This is coming to Tampa in May:

slide the city 01

Here’s a photo that might give you a better idea of its scale:

slide the city 02

Click the photo to see it at full size.

How ’bout one more photo for an even better idea of the kind of water slide I’m talkin’ about?

slide the city 03

slide the city logoSlide the City is a thousand foot-long urban water slide event that’s been touring the country last year and is scheduled to come to Accordion Bay in May.

Tampa’s flat geography makes it a jogger’s and cyclist’s paradise, but terrible for a slip-and slide ride. You might be wondering where in the city you could possibly set up a giant “slip ‘n’ slide”, but the organizers seem to have found a pretty good solution: the bridge on North Avenue that crosses the Hillsborough River. Here a Google Street Maps photo of the area (North Boulevard and West Palm):

north and palm

Click the photo to see the Google Street View.

The area’s not too far from downtown Tampa and still relatively undeveloped (it’s near the historic Armature Works building, in an area I like to call “Tampa waiting to happen”), which makes it possible for both lots of parking and a block party to be set up.

“This is the first bridge slide we’ve ever done,” says Slide the City creator Spencer Hunn. “We Utah boys love to sled and ski, so I would think it would be fun to be able to sled in Tampa for the first time ever.”

There’s a catch: At least 4,000 tickets to the event need to be pre-sold to make it financially viable. The “early bird” prices, which are valid through April 8 are:

  • $10 for a single slide
  • $25 for two hours of unlimited sliding
  • $45 for four hours of unlimited sliding

Later, prices will be $20 for a single ride and $45 to $65 for unlimited rides. You can register at

Who want to join Anitra and me?


Lost in translation

female washroom - memale washroom

Also acceptable: hemale washroom.




stranger in a strange landAlso worth reading: The U.S. has Gone F&*%ing Mad.