That’s right — Kevin Smith will be doing one of his infamous monologues at the Tampa Improv on Wednesday, August 12 at 8 p.m.. The tickets are going for $30 apiece (Anitra and I will be attending), and you know they’ll go quickly. Order now at Improv Tampa’s site if you want to attend!
Those are three of my favorite things, all gathered up into a single unit.
“You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar…” is the only thing that the man and woman in The Human League’s 1981 synthpop hit Don’t You Want Me can agree on. If you’ve ever heard it mangled at a karaoke night, you know that it’s the only lyric that most people remember.
What if it were the only lyric in the song? With the magic of autotune, someone made it happen:
That’s about right.
For your amusement, here’s a blast from the past. It’s me and fellow accordionist Ronen Segall at Caplansky’s Deli in Toronto on my birthday in November 2009, playing Que Sera Sera, Should I Stay or Should I Go?, and closing with Don’t You Want Me:
Thanks to Duarte da Silva for the find!
They shouldn’t put monogrammed towels on their wedding registry
It seemed like a good idea at the time: the couple above got engaged at dinner at a teppanyaki restaurant and decided to get a photo to commemorate the big event. They probably thought “Hey, we’ll show this to the grandkids someday!”
Somebody got the idea to spell out their initials in rice on the big plancha stove with a big heart between them, but it never occurred to anyone to to confirm that those initials didn’t form any unfortunate words.
My thanks to Frédéric Harper, who pointed me to this photo, saying “I think of you when see stories like this.”
Hotels vs AirBnB
This one’s from The Onion:
Bay Area to Standard American English Translator
If you read one tech-related humor piece today, make it Bay Area to Standard American English Translator on McSweeney’s. Here’s a sample:
“Who are you again?”
\ˈhü\ \ˈär\ \ˈyü\ \e-ˈgān\
“What company do you work for?”– –
“Do you live in this neighborhood?”
\ˈdü\ \ˈyü\ \ˈliv\ \ən\ \ˈthis\ \ˈnā-bər-ˌhu̇d\
“Can you afford to live in San Francisco?”– –
“We should get lunch.”
\ˈwē\ \ˈshu̇d\ \ˈget\ \ˈlənch\
“I’ve identified your value relative to me and wish to start the process of exploiting your talents.”
Once again, that’s Bay Area to Standard American English Translator.
Thanks to Dare Obasanjo for the find!
Here’s one from the “How’d I miss this?” file: a fan-made video of the cover of Pulp’s 1995 hit Common People, as performed by William Shatner on his first good album, the 2004 alt-rock surprise Has Been. It takes the song and adds cuts from the original Star Trek series, syncing lips and lyrics whenever possible (the “I’ll see what I can do” lyrics lines up perfectly with a scene where Kirk utters the exact same words). It was posted in 2011, and has been making the online rounds after getting some press on Slate by way of Dangerous Minds.
If you’re not familiar with the original version by Pulp, here it is: