Category: The Current Situation

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America The Current Situation

The perfect movie scene for the Texas reopening

In what seems to be an attempt to justify the Norwegians’ use of “Texas” as a slang expression for “crazy”, Texas’ governor, Greg Abbott, has lifted the state’s mask mandate and will allow businesses to open their doors at 100% capacity starting March 10th, in spite of health experts’ warnings.

There’s a point in a lot of dystopian science fiction where the interests of business take precedence over the interests of people’s safety, and well, Texas is just about there. Florida’s governor, Ron “DipShantis” DeSantis is likely watching and working on plans to follow suit, based on his recent statements. Welcome to late stage capitalism!

It’s going to get dumber, folks.

By the bye, if you’re wondering where the image above comes from, it’s from this classic scene from the 1979 film Alien:

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The Current Situation

I’d make them even better by dunking them in chocolate!

Screen capture of article titled “Go nuts: Reese’s making chocolate-free all peanut butter cups”.
Click to read the story.
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The Current Situation

Confusing headline of the day

According to the article, the dog walker survived and is recovering in the hospital.

The headline could still use a little work. When I read it, I imagined this scene:

Dog walker: I’m so sorry, m’lady, but I got jumped and they took the dogs!

Lady Gaga: Fool! You have failed me for the last time! **BANG**

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Florida The Current Situation

It’s a warm day in Florida (and nowhere else in the U.S.)

Weather map of the United Stated dated February 15, 2021, showing near-freezing, freezing, or sub-freezing temperatures for most of the country, except Florida, with temperatures ranging from 79°F to 84°F (26°C to 29°C).
Tap to view at full size.

Yes, we can be “America’s drainpipe for weirdos” sometimes, but we’re also a blessed tropical paradise.

While the rest of the country’s enduring near-freezing, freezing, or sub-freezing temperatures, the temperatures here have been ranging from 79°F (26°C) here in the Tampa Bay area to 84°F (29°C) along the east coast.

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Geek The Current Situation

The Filter Menace (or: If Darth Vader and the Emperor communicated via Zoom)

Stills from the “Darth Vader talks to the Emperor” scene from “The Empire Strikes Back”. Darth Vader: “What is thy bidding, my master?” Emperor, but with cat filter: “There is a great disturbance in the Force...” Darth Vader: “My master, I believe you have a filter turned on” Emperor: “I don’t know how to remove it. I’m here, live, I’m not a cat.”
Thanks to David Eddy for the find!

Need context? Start here: Mortified Lawyer Appears in Court as a Cat, Blames Zoom Filter.

A screenshot of the Zoom conversation where a lawyer was stuck with the cat filter on.
Tap to view at full size.
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The Current Situation

This joke sticks the landing

Here’s some context, because readers might not get the reference a few years from now:

Thankfully, with the help of some kindly doctors, she got the stuff out. Which is good, because Gorilla Glue and Gorilla Tape are my go-tos for when I want to make sure things stay stuck together.

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It Happened to Me Tampa Bay The Current Situation

Half-time was the best time to go plague shopping

Trader Joe’s Tampa last night at 8:24 p.m.. Tap to view at full size.

My hunch that Trader Joe’s Tampa would be a ghost town last night during Super Bowl LV’s half-time paid off. It was the perfect time to make a quick but important grocery run, as you can see from the photo I took while at the cashier (see above).

This run was important because there are better-than-even odds that we’ll experience a COVID-19 spike, thanks to Super Bowl superspreader gatherings like the one in the picture below, taken in Ybor City on Saturday night…

…and covered in the following articles:

My advice: Be particularly careful over the next couple of weeks, because a lot of people were careless over the past couple of days.