America The Current Situation

“Quiet! I’m declassifying documents.”

Talosian (Star Trek alien with giant, veiny head) with caption “Quiet! I’m declassifying documents.”
Thanks to Star Trek Shitposting for the find!
America The Current Situation

The “I just said ‘It’s declassfied’” excuse

Donald Trump as “Jeannie” from “I dream of Jeannie,” saying “Declassified!”

In a new interview with his personal fluffer, Sean Hannity, Donald Trump test-ballooned his latest defense for illegally (and potentially treasonously) keeping U.S. government secret documents on his private gold club/residence:

“If you’re the president of the United States, you can declassify just by saying, ‘It’s declassified’.

Even by thinking about it, because you’re sending it to Mar-a-Lago or to wherever you’re sending it. … There can be a process, but there doesn’t have to be.”

It’s an understanding of secret documents that’s equal to the “I said so” rule of schoolyard games, or perhaps Michael Scott’s understanding of bankruptcy on The Office:

There were over 300 such documents stored at Mar-a-Lago, which is not a facility up to the task of securing such things. The search was a result of an earlier finding of other secret documents at the site.

America The Current Situation

Jerry’s gonna Jerry

The problem is that Jerry’s going to keep on Jerrying, because voting for Trump — or probable future presidential candidate Ron DeSantis, who’s basically Trump with an attention span and malevolent competence — is actual identity politics, and the simple proof is all the merchandise that they buy, their performative parading about, and their willingness to pour money into the scam.

Remember that the Republican Party didn’t bother to come up with a platform in the last election because they didn’t need one. It’s more than enough for them to be the vessel for the grievances of people who were promised that they’d be at the top of the pecking order and promise to be the cudgel to beat those who they believe usurped them from that spot.

In the end, as Adam Serwer observed in the Atlantic article that grew into a book, The Cruelty is the Point.

America It Happened to Me

Buc-ee’s: I, for one, welcome our new beef jerky overlords.

For the benefit of those of you who’ve never experienced a Buc-ee’s, here’s some video I shot during my first-ever visit to one of these roadside stores that’s best described as “Imagine a Circle K, but on Texas steroids,” or “Picture a Wawa, but the size of a Walmart.”


“What would the Founding Fathers think of all that?”

Comic: MAGA guy in red cap and U.S. flag t-shirt: “No child of mine is gonna learn about men who wear makeup, high heels, and a wig at their school! What would the founders think of all that?” / Founding father in traditional clothing, checking self in mirror: “Oh, have I got some news for you.”
Tap to view at full size.

The Founding Fathers would’ve been confounded by lots of things, from non-land-owners having a vote to dishwashing machines. Appreciate the things they did right, learn from what they did wrong, and don’t fuss too much over the intent of people who were just getting the hang of Enlightenment ideas.

Also worth checking out: How to quit being a wimp and DRESS MANLY like the GOOD OLD DAYS.

America The Current Situation

“The courage of one’s convictions” requires COURAGE and CONVICTIONS. Josh Hawley has neither.

Photos: How it started (Josh Hawley raising his fist) and how it went (Josh Hawley running away).
Tap to view the chicken-shittery at full size.

Here’s a life pro tip: Live in such a way that your hometown newspaper doesn’t mock you for not having the courage of your convictions, as the Kansas City Star did to Missouri Republican Josh “Brave Sir Robin” Hawley:

One of the discoveries of the January 6th hearings is that after waving his fist in support of the mob who would descend on the Capitol in an act of terrorism and sedition, Hawley was seen in a later video running for his life from that same mob. At the hearings, this brazen chicken-shittery elicited some much-deserved laughter.

That’s one of the challenges of having “the courage of one’s convictions” — the prerequisites are courage and convictions, neither of which Hawley appears to have in an appreciable quantity. He stoked a crowd with a lie, and ran when he had to deal the consequences of said lie.

Oddly enough, Hawley is currently working on a book on a particularly pathetic obsession of his: his somewhat warped view of manhood. Titled Manhood: The Masculine Virtues America Needs, it purports to be an antidote for a country that has forgotten the masculine virtues, one of which is taking responsibility. One might think that taking responsibility might include stopping the violent crowd you incited or maybe not inciting them in the first place, but that it would require those pesky courage/conviction things. Like Jordan Peterson’s books, it’s really just another attempt to hustle money and attention from mediocre white men who’ve discovered that they’re nothing special and aren’t handling it very well.

I think the whole thing is best summed up by Michael Fanone, a D.C. police officer who was injured during the January 6th sedition that Hawley encouraged and then ran from: Josh Hawley is a bitch. And he ran like a bitch.

America The Current Situation

Very timely pictures aplenty (July 10, 2022)

Previous Pictures Aplenty: