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19 Years Ago Today (or: The World’s Ballsiest Man)

\"Tank Man\" faces down 4 Chinese tanks during the Tienanmen Square Massacre

19 years ago today, “Tank Man” (a.k.a. “The Unknown Rebel”, or as I prefer to call him, “Iron Balls McGinty”) faced down four tanks during the Tienanmen Square Massacre. Little is known about this man aside from the fact that he must clank when he walks.

I salute you with a filet mignon on a flaming sword, sir!

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Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City) Work

Toronto’s Challenges, if it Tries to Become More Seattle- or Silicon Valley-esque

[This article was also posted on Global Nerdy.]

McDonald’s on El Camino Real and totem pole at Pioneer Square
Scenes from the Valley’s El Camino Real (left) and Seattle’s Pioneer Square (right).

Here’s some food for thought. Ahmed Hassan very recently wrote a comment in response to an article of mine, Ideas to Steal from Silicon Valley and Seattle, and it’s worth promoting to its own article, so here it is.

Being from Toronto and having worked in both Toronto, Ottawa, and the US, I think Toronto has severe challenges.

1. We build workers…not leaders.

We have loads of talent…but all we create is good worker bees.

2. Yes, lack of big companies is a big deal.

There are some ‘entrepreneurs’ who will just go at it on their own. yet, the vast majority of people like a decent job. So they meet up at large companies…work for a while…then maybe decide to start their own thing. All we have in Toronto proper is IBM and AMD. Anyone care to explain how RIM was founded in Waterloo. I ask that as a serious question. How does a small town create the only great Canadian tech company in operation right now? Why was it not founded in Toronto? Ask that question a few times…over and over.

3. Politicians do not understand business.

When you have someone like Miller who says he doesn’t care about companies who move to Mississauga for lower tax rates as he only wants companies who are willing to pay more to take advantage of Toronto’s urban character… you know something is wrong. They will try to push venture capital and ‘incubators…’.

As I say…mentality before process.

4. Sometimes you run out of talent.

How many high tech centers do we need? Everywhere you go, there is a lack of talent. If Toronto tech can just pickup and move to Seattle, Silicon valley, New york, boston, dallas, austin… in an already established tech base, why would they bother doing it here? Better weather, lower taxes, more like-minded entrepreneurs.

It’s not impossible. But Toronto has its work cut out for it. The biggest threat to Toronto…is actually Waterloo. Very close to Toronto and with a large tech base. It’s largely a mentality gap. Toronto embraces bureaucracy and structure. Startups are about freedom and independence. If you will…that’s why RIM was founded in Waterloo as opposed to Toronto. No Toronto bureaucracy would have ever approved of RIM. I mean they would be competing against Motorola, Nokia, MS… impossible…that’s a bad investment.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

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Interview Video of the Day: Bruce Lee Interviewed by Pierre Berton

Here’s a real gem: one of my heroes, Bruce Lee, being interviewed by Canadian television personality, journalist and author Pierre Berton in December 1971. It was Lee’s one and only TV interview. Bruce is great in this interview: he’s got some interesting stories to tell, and he does so with the confidence, charisma and focus that were his stock in trade.

One of the interesting things about the interview is that certain terms they brought up in conversation — kung fu and tai chi — are common terms in North America today, but completely foreign back in 1971.

When asked which Hollywood stars were his best students, he named two: Steve McQueen (“That son of a gun got the toughness in him!” says Bruce in the interview) as the one who best understood the fighting aspects of kung fu, and James Coburn (in the interview, Bruce describes him as “A peace-loving man…really nice, super mellow”) as the one who best grasped the philosophy of kung fu. He also taught Roman Polanski; I always thought that a Lee/Polanski kung fu lesson would make a great comedy skit.

The video is just under 25 minutes long, but it’s well worth watching.

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Geek Music Uncategorized

Music Video of the Day: “New Math”

Here’s Bo Burnham singing his nerd-folk/filk song, New Math:

In case you were wondering what the lyrics were, here they are:

What’s a pirate minus the ship? Just a creative homeless guy
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die
And what’s domain, domain, range (x, x, y) — a kid with too much in his pants
and two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de france.

Split a decision with long division,
Take the circumference of your circumcision
Live like your data and when you’re all “set”
Put it all together and whatever you get…

Is new math

What’s a bag of chips divided by five? That’s a Nike worker’s meal
And Santa Claus mutliplied by i? Well, I guess that makes him real
And the square root of the NBA is Africa in a box
How do you trace a scatter plot? Give the pencil to Michael J. Fox

Take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
Live like your data, and when you’re all “set”
Put it all together and whatever you get…

Is new math

And if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me you’d have a tree
…full of Asian porn.
C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later) mathematical minds make industrial smog
and whats the opposite of ln(x): Duraflame, the unnatural log

Support the farmers with a pro-tractor
Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor (fact, or)
Live like your data…blah blah

Word problems

If there’s a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he’s ready to buy
In order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi (pie)
And theres a metal train that’s a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her
How long ’til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese
What are the odds that a man chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees
And if Kim is half as old as Bobby who is two years older than twelve year old Tori
For how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory rape

Cause havin’ sex is like quadratic expansion: if it can’t be split then it’s time to stop
and havin’ sex is like doing fractions, it’s improper for the larger one to be on top
And havin’ sex is like math homework, I do it best when I’m alone in my bed
And squarin numbers’ are just like women, if they’re under thirteen just do them in your head

And new math

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McCain: “Global Warming for Bombs…Do We Have a Deal?”

John McCain in front of the word \"WAR\" in large letters: \"I\'m John McCain and I approve this message.\"

The blog Craptocracy sums up John McCain’s unexpected stance on climate change very nicely:

When McCain talks about ‘climate change’ he seems desperate and grasping, like he doesn’t really care about it one way or the other. It’s as if he’s saying, “I’ll give you your global warming, just let me get my hands on some bombs. Just let me get my hands on some bombs and I will agree to whatever you want that doesn’t involve not bombing.”

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Personally, I Would Have Gone with Post-It Notes Instead [Updated]

Dr. Wei Sheng sticks 2008 needles in his head to commemorate the Olympics
Photo credit: Maxppp/Barcroft Media

The bad-at-real-news, decent-at-amusing-trivial-stories UK paper The Telegraph reports that “In a bizarre publicity stunt, Dr Wei Sheng pierced the decorative needles in his head, face, hands and chest in the five colours of the Olympic rings.”

Next to him, “Pinhead” from the Hellraiser movies doesn’t seem like he’s trying:

\"Pinhead\" from the \"Hellraiser\" movies.

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As Long as I’m Writing About “End Times” Humour…

…I might as well dig up the classic Eschatron 9000 photo (originally posted in this blog entry):

Cute girl in a bikini pushing the 'Immanentize' button on a machine labelled 'ESCHATRON 9000'.
If there truly is a God and He is merciful and kind, the end of the world will involve hot chicks in bikinis. Who dig accordions.

Be sure to check out my blog entry about Apocalypse How, willya?