Life Work

Plagiarism, Inc.

Photo: Jordan Kavoosi and two-coworkers, shirtless with the words "EWC - No homework" painted on their chests. "Whould you buy an essay from these guys?"

“Sure, it’s unethical, but it’s just a business,” says Jordan Kavoosi, who runs Essay Writing Company, one of those places where students who don’t want to write essays or term papers can have someone else do it form them. "I mean, what about strip clubs or porn shops? Those are unethical, and city-approved."

Plagiarism, Inc. is an article about Kavoosi and his company located in the Apple Valley suburb of Minneapolis/St. Paul. It’s an amusing read, what with Kavoosi’s somewhat sleazy line of work, the even more sleazy way he treats his employees and the generally sleazy way in which comes across in the article.

Screenshot: Essay Writing Company's site's home page

Here are the answers to the question “Why use an essay writing company?”, which appears on Essay Writing Company’s site:

  • Essay writing can be very time consuming. The research that goes into it can be a bit overwhelming. The complexity of your assigned research paper may even discourage you from completing it. This is where can help.. We can save you a lot of time and effort by taking on the task of creating a professionally written custom essay for you.
  • No matter how complex the writing assignment or a close due date, our teams of academic writing specialists are highly qualified and capable of providing you with a research paper that will make the grade.
  • Notice the difference between a normal essay and a professionally written essay.
  • Let our academic specialists provide you with a custom essay that will get you the grade you need. This will allow you the chance to continue with your life and spend more time with your friends..
  • Our professional essay writing company will do all the research that is needed for your assignment.

The real answer is much simpler and needs only one bullet point: “Because you’re unethical and lazy.”

Found via Jeff “Coding Horror” Atwood.


Photo of the Day

 Two guys posing beside a sign in French that points to the showers: "Douches"

[Found via Certified Bullshit Technician.]

The Current Situation

Greg Gutfeld’s Gutless Apology

It looks as though even though Greg Gutfeld’s show on Fox News Channel, Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld, is consigned to the gulag of the oh-dark-thirty timeslot, his ignorant remarks about the Canadian military caught the attention of many people, including our own Defence Minister Peter MacKay:

Although Gutfeld has some access to the resources of a purported news network, his comments suggest that he was unaware of the fact that Canadian soldiers have been in Afghanistan since 2001, have been fighting in some of the most violent regions of the country and have even taken on friendly fire from their American allies. His timing couldn’t have been worse either; shortly after the broadcast of this show, four Canadian soliders were killed in Afghanistan.

In response, Gutfeld has made a weak half-apology:

I call it a weak half-apology, because it uses the “I’m sorry you were offended” time-worn cop-out instead of the proper “I’m sorry I offended you”:

However, I realize that my words may have been misunderstood. It was not my intent to disrespect the brave men, women and families of the Canadian military, and for that I apologize. Red Eye is a satirical take on the news, in which all topics are addressed in a lighthearted, humorous and ridiculous manner.

Was he not there when he did his piece on the Canadian military? There’s not much to “misunderstand”. Perhaps we should start referring to him as Greg Gutless.

Red Eye, which is a poor (and possibly brain-damaged) man’s attempt to capture some of the flavour of The Daily Show, often has commentary on the news with guests weighing in. One of the guests weighing in was comedian Doug Benson, who pitched in with his own ignorant remarks. He was scheduled to perform at The Comic Strip at the West Edmonton Mall later this month, but it has since been cancelled. After his remarks on Red Eye, doing stand-up at Canada’s murder rate capital might not be such a good idea.