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Chanukah, Night One: Is it the Jewish Christmas?

This is the first time that Wendy and I are

celebrating Christmas and Chanukah as a married couple. Since she’s

Jewish and I’ll celebrate any holiday as long as there’s food and

booze, I’ve extended the goodie giveaway started with the Accordion Guy

Advent Calendar to include the eight nights that make up Chanukah.

The “Jewish Christmas” description is a poor description of

Chanukah; whereas Christmas is considered to be one of the major

holidays of the Christian faith, Chanukah is a minor one in Judaism.

Calling Chanukah the Jewish analogue for Christmas is an exercise in

making poor analogies. It would be like calling a Playstation Portable

“the nerd’s prom date” (it’s overhyped, you want it in your pants, in

the end, it’s not as good as you expected it would be).

The traditional Jewish calendar, like the Chinese one, is based on

lunar, rather than solar cycles. This means that like Chinese New year,

the Gregorian Calendar (the calendar we use every day) date of Chanukah

changes every year. This year, for the first time in fifty-ish years,

Chanukah and Christmas fall on the same day.

While

the origins of Christmas are reasonably well known (at least here in

“The West”), many people don’t know what Chanukah is all about. Here’s

a little hint for my fellow Gentiles: most Jewish holidays have a theme

along the lines of “They tried to kill us; they failed; let’s eat!” For

a more specific explanation, I can point you to Judaism 101’s page on

the subject, but I thought it would be more fun to show you Steve

Greenberg’s comic, Is it the Jewish Christmas? [JPG file, 170K]

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Merry Christmas!

Have a great one, everybody!

Here’s a quick preview of photos to come: it’s our Christmas tree

during the first round of decorating. Note the dreidel ornaments —

they’re a gift from Eldon Brown. He bought some multicoloured plastic

dreidels, drilled holes in their spindles and attached Christmas

ornament hooks to them. Thanks, Eldon!

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Music

Accordion Guy Advent Calendar, Day Twenty-Two: Christmas Carols, Hawaiian-Style

While Christmas card imagery features often snow, most people here in Canada would consider the forecasted  temperature for Bethlehem rather springlike (10 degrees C / 50 degrees F) and call the forecast for my hometown of Manila almost summery (26 degrees C / 78 degrees F). The Christmas day temperature in Honolulu is expected to be roughly the same, which means that David Hasselhoff, pictured above, could go boogie-boarding to work up an appetite for Christmas dinner if he wanted to. Click the photo [204KB animated GIF] to see a rather mesmerizing animation of Mr. Hasselhoff zipping through the surf.

While you’re zenning out to Mr. Hasselhoff’s antics in the water, may I suggest this as the soundtrack: Bing Crosby singing Meli Kalikimaka [4.1MB, MP3], which means “Merry Christmas” in Hawaiian. Aloha!

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Music

Accordion Guy Advent Calendar, Day Twenty-One: Dar Williams’ "The Christians and the Pagans"

Photo: Figurine of Santa playing the accordion. 

Cut my metaphorical heart open, and you’ll find many things: Wendy,

chocolate, computers, bacchanalia, bare-bum spankings on the fire

esca…okay, scratch that one. But among those things near and dear to

me are the wayward children of the wayward African child known as the

blues scale: jazz, pop and rock. It’s quite fitting that one of the

numbers that I played with the band at my wedding was Old Time Rock and Roll.

Unfortunately, there hasn’t been a good Christmas rock song in a long

time. Most Christmas rock is terrible, the worst being Paul McCartney’s

Wonderful Christmastime,

a number he practically “phoned in” — most of the musicianship in the

song is courtesy of the synth and an overused digital delay effect (the

echo). It’s further proof that Lennon and McCartney are rather like two

chemicals that potent when mixed together, but rather harmless on their

own. If Purgatory exists, there’s a special room for Sir Paul where The

Unicorns (whom I wrote about in this entry), high on crystal meth, play the song non-stop for seven

lifetimes.

Good Christmas rock songs do exist — I’m rather fond of SR-71’s cover of Billy Squier’s Christmas is a Time to Say I Love You (it’s on this album), and despite my general avoidance of granola-folk, I enjoy Dar Williams’ The Christians and the Pagans, and it’s one of Wendy’s favourites (when a Jewish girl likes a Christmas song, it’s got to be good). Here’s an MP3 of Dar perfoming this number live in October 2005 at Santa Cruz, California’s hippie Mecca [2.1MB, MP3]. I got this courtesy of the blog Lookit, so thanks, Lookit! (Here’s the blog entry from which it comes.)

Here are the lyrics, for your enjoyment:

Amber called her uncle, said “We’re up here for the holiday,

Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place to stay.”

And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary on a tree,

He watched his son hang candy canes all made with Red Dye Number 3.

He told his niece, “It’s Christmas Eve, I know our life is not your style,”

She said, “Christmas is like Solstice, and we miss you, and its been awhile,”

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,

Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,

And just before the meal was served, hands were held and prayers were said,

Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and goddesses.

The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had gone without a hitch,

‘Til Timmy turned to Amber and said, “Is it true that you’re a witch?”

His mom jumped up and said, “The pies are burning,” and she hit the kitchen,

And it was Jane who spoke, she said, “It’s true, your cousin’s not a Christian,”

“But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we have, the world we share,

And you find magic from your God, and we find magic everywhere.”

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,

Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,

And where does magic come from? I think magic’s in the learning,

‘Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning.

When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said, “Really, no, don’t bother.”

Amber’s uncle saw how Amber looked like Tim and like her father.

He thought about his brother, how they hadn’t spoken in a year,

He thought he’d call him up and say, “It’s Christmas and your daughter’s here.”

He thought of fathers, sons and brothers, saw his own son tug his sleeve, saying,

“Can I be a Pagan?” Dad said, “We’ll discuss it when they leave.”

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,

Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,

Lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the old, and

Making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold.

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It Happened to Me

Seen at the Pacific Mall

Up in the northeast outskirts of Accordion City is the Pacific Mall, which proudly declares itself “North America’s Largest Indoor Asian Mall”. If you’re looking for good food, anime and Hong Kong cinema DVDs, cell phone accessories, a hair salon that can spike your hair properly, every known flavour of Pocky and some decent competition for Dance Dance Revolution, Pacific Mall is the place to be!

Wendy and I went to the Pacific Mall with Deenster, Chris, Deenster’s sister Lisa (who’s visiting from Tel Aviv), Rich and Elana last Saturday. We enjoyed some dim sum at the upstairs restaurant Golden Regency and also did some window shopping, where we saw these:

The “Five Life Principles” Cup, which advises you: “Don’t get angry. Don’t rush. Don’t be bossy. Don’t be grumpy. Don’t give up.”


WAR ABSOLUTE BEING BATTLEPLAN. I think they mean “battle plane”. It also sounds like the sort of cheer that they’d make up for Japanese baseball teams.

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Accordion Guy Advent Calendar, Day Twenty: My Two Favourite Comics on the Subject

Click the comics to see them at full size.

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"The Chappelle Theory"

I love Chappelle’s Show and I also love a good conspiracy theory, so I couldn’t help but enjoy reading The Chappelle Theory.

Its anonymous author claims to be a retired PR executive who claims to

have many “contacts closely related to the individuals involved”,

allowing him or her to “to fairly accurately recount the events” in

Chappelle’s strange fall from grace.

This excerpt provides a good introduction to the rest of the site:

Dave was haunted by a secret. One that only he was aware of, and one

he couldn’t share with anyone, lest his comedy empire crumble.

He

knew that at the same time he was signing his record-setting deal,

there was a secret cabal of powerful African-American leaders from the

business, political, and entertainment industries working together to

ensure that the third season of Chappelle’s Show would never happen.

At one time or another, each member of this loosely knit, informal group had played a key role in Chappelle’s rise to stardom.

They

had been instrumental in securing movie and television roles, offering

counsel, and simply aiding Chappelle financially when his stand up work

couldn’t pay the bills during his lean early years.

Over the last

two years, they had watched warily as Chappelle’s Show had become

Comedy Central’s premiere show, eclipsing even South Park and The Daily

Show in terms of buzz.

Whether

you think that the site is merely the raving of a consipracy nut or an

insider blowing the whistle on dark machinations within the

entertainment industry, it’s an interesting read.