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Accordion, Instrument of the Gods It Happened to Me Life Play Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

The Birthday Accordion Jam at Caplansky’s

The Accordion Jam

Caplansky's delicatessen logo: "Caplansky's Delicatessen. House-smoked, hand-cut smoked meat" With all the travelling I’d been doing in the fall, my birthday party back on November 7th was a last-minute affair, but it was a great one. I managed to snag a spot for fifteen people at Caplansky’s Delicatessen. Caplansky’s has been open merely half a year, but in that short span of time, it’s won the loyalty of local deli fans, foodies and celebrities as well as my in-laws, who’ve forgotten more about deli than I will ever learn. The Ginger Ninja and I took them there over the holidays and not only did they enjoy their meal, they also enjoyed meeting the proprietor, Zane Caplansky.

I was enjoying a birthday beer while waiting for the appetizers to arrive when Wendy pointed out that a young guy with an accordion had entered the restaurant. Two accordionists meeting at random in a restaurant is a rare and precious phenomenon, so I introduced myself and told him that I too had an accordion – the little red number that I’d purchased on the very afternoon I signed my offer letter from Microsoft.

His name was Ronen Segall, and in addition to playing at parties and other functions, he plays at Caplansky’s. “I think I’ve read your blog before,” he said as we conversed. “Would you like to do a couple of numbers with me?”

I find invitations like that just about impossible to refuse, and the result – a performance of Que Sera, Sera, Should I Stay or Should I Go and Don’t You Want Me — is shown in the video below. My thanks to Pavel Zaitsev for doing the camerawork!

Caplansky’s

Here’s a shot of Caplansky’s taken from near the front of the restaurant on my phone back in September. Get a good look, because the place’s word-of-mouth has grown over the past few months and I doubt we’ll see it this empty for a good long time.

Caplansky's dining room, as seen front near the front

“We may be witnessing the birth of an institution,” gushes Toronto Life (the magazine for the local Lexus set) about Caplansky’s, and I concur. These days, the place is buzzing even during most other restaurant’s off-peak hours and the queue waiting for a table often goes out the door.

This is the second incarnation of the restaurant, the first one being a little shop operating symbiotically within the Monarch Tavern. With a brand new smoker and a new front-of-house and back-of-house staff, Zane’s raised the quality of his stuff from good to great, added items to the menu and taking on increasingly large crowds.

Here’s a shot of the tasty pickle plate that Wendy and I shared as an appetizer back in September. I’ve made it black and white because my mobile phone camera has a tendency to colour pictures of food in that unappetizing, 1950s drive-in movie theatre snack bar menu way:

Caplanskys pickle plate

For my main, I had the Caplansky’s Combo, a nice plate with a selection of their deli meats served along with a few slices of rye, tomato slices and onion. Back then, it comprised smoked meat, thick slices of grilled versht (beef salami), smoked turkey and chopped liver. I had to hit the gym a little harder the next day, but it was worth it.

Here’s a photo of the Combo, once again converted to black and white thanks to my mobile phone’s inability to take a decent food photo:

Caplansky's combo platter: grilled versht, smoked turkey, smoked meat, rye bread slices, chopped onion, tomato slices, a ball of chopped liver

The question always comes up when I talk about the place: “How does it compare to Schwartz’s?” For those of you not familiar with the establishment, Schwartz’s is Montreal’s legendary charcuterie hebraique, who’ve been doing smoked meat since the Great Depression and their excellent product is considered to be the gold standard. I try to get in a meal there every time I’m in Montreal, and plan to do so again when I’m there later this month for the CUSEC conference.

I like both; Caplansky’s smoked meat has a smokier flavour to it, which I think is a good thing. I’d rather see Zane put his own touch on it rather than slavishly attempt to ape Schwartz’s. It’s the sort of deviation that gets the Montreal smoked meat purists up in arms, but they’re chauvinistic food grognards (who can shove Lucien Bouchard’s missing leg up their collective arses, if you want my honest opinion).

When I took the in-laws there over the holidays, I started with the split pea soup – simple and hearty – and followed that with the salami and eggs, which turned out to be one of the best renditions of this deli classic that I’ve ever had. Wendy had one of my silver dollar pancake-sized latkes that came with the dish and swooned. They’re quite good.

A lot of delis fall down when it comes to dessert, but not Caplansky’s. I believe they get their desserts from somewhere else, but that other place is great! The chocolate cake that I got for my birthday party was so good that I got another slice, and I plan to return for another serving of their dark chocolate bread pudding, which I had during my visit last week.

To sum it up: the food’s great. You should go.

Portrait of Zane Caplansky in a chef's hat and white t-shirt, in the kitchen

Being someone who’s very passionate about his work and his field, I find it gratifying when I encounter someone who feels the same way about his. That’s what I like about Zane – he cares intensely about the food he serves and the restaurant in which he serves it. He obsesses about getting things just right – just read some entries in his blog to see just how much – and he also works the crowd at the restaurant, chatting up the tables and even doing a little order-taking and serving. This is no mere job for him – it’s a calling, and it shows.

If this article has enticed you to give Caplansky’s a try, I’d say go for it – but they’re taking this Monday through Friday off. Caplansky’s will be back open for business on Saturday, January 9th.

Caplanskys posters: "Where knish is knig", "Kickin' it old shul" and "It's firstborn-sacrificn' good!"

Caplansky’s Delicatessen is located at 356 College Street (at the corner of College and Brunswick, a few blocks west of Spadina). They’re open from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, and from 10 a.m. to 11 p.m. the rest of the week.

Map showing location of Caplansky's Delicatessen (356 College Street, Toronto ON)

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Life

Be Careful Out There

I’ve just come back from a grocery run with The Missus, and have this advisory if you need to hit the roads in Toronto (and many other places) tonight:

Winter road with pixel highway sign that reads 'The roads are wicked slippery!!!'

I’m not sure exactly where this photo was taken, I can safely say it’s probably New England – maybe Massachusetts. Over there, using “wicked” as an adverb meaning “very” is a pretty common occurrence. I wouldn’t be surprised if the “roads are wicked slippery” message alternated with something like “Don’t be a retahd! Get yeh cah ovah to Dunks!”

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Life

Happy Easter, “Adolph”!

The two gents in the photo below, identified as “T/5 William E. Thomas and Pfc. Joseph Jackson” may not have spelled Hitler’s first name correctly (it’s Adolf), but that doesn’t mar the beauty of this photo:

Old black-and-white photo featuring two black WWII soldiers smiling as they display mortar shells with "Happy Easter Adolph" painted on them and a box labelled "Easter eggs for Hitler"

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Life

Apparently, It Did.

Incomplete graffito on a brick wall: "SHIT HAP"

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Life Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Storefront of the Day: “Ontario Giant Runt Club”

Ontario Giant Runt Club

The person who took this “Ontario Giant Runt Club” photo – who goes by the online moniker “Bourbon Baby” (oddly enough, it’s not a pseudonym for bourbon aficionado David Crow) – did a little research and found that “giant runt” refers to a breed of pigeon; this is a pigeon fancier’s club in Toronto.

In case you were curious, this place is located at 615B Brock Avenue, just off Bloor Street West, halfway between Lansdowne and Dufferin. West End pigeon fanciers unite!

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Life The Current Situation

Michael Steele Wants You to Know He’s the Best Boss Ever!

01 michael steele and intern

Before the “Bush 43” years, and especially during the early ‘90s, when I was at Crazy Go Nuts University, I often voiced my observation that:

  • Conservatives were people you didn’t necessarily agree with politically, but found likeable and would gladly invite to a party, wedding, kegger or road trip, and
  • Liberals were people with whom you might agree on a political level, but were tiresome and always threatening to invite you to some rally or other tiresome crashing bore of an event.

I miss the Barry Goldwater conservatives of yore and look forward to the day when they oust the Fox News/End Times-insane among their ranks. I don’t know if any of the Republican Party interns in the photos below posing with Chairman Michael Steele are the more sensible sort, but at least the poses in these photos – which are rather like the poses I’d do with my boss and coworkers – are a glimmer of hope that not all conservatives have gone tragically, completely and humourlessly off the rails.

02 michael steele and intern 03 michael steele and intern 04 michael steele and intern 05 michael steele and intern

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Life

The World’s Most Terrifying Children’s Book

The blog Awful Library Books recently featured what I consider to be the world’s most terrifying children’s book: Don’t Make Me Go Back, Mommy: A Child’s Book About Satanic Ritual Abuse:

dont make me go back mommy

It would seem that Satanists have their own version of “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”:

dont make me go back mommy 2

Form follows function in this book, with dreadful pencil-crayon illustrations matching the dreadful prose:

dont make me go back mommy 3

For more, see these articles in Awful Library Books: Satan for Kids and Satan for Kids, Part 2.