Categories
It Happened to Me Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Bike

Photo: My bike, the Scorpion King (a Trek Cruiser).

Pictured above is my primary means of getting about Accordion City, the

Scorpion King. For getting to and from work as well as travel within

the core of Accordion City that doesn’t require me to carry large

parcels, a bicycle is by far the most cost- and time-efficient means of

getting around. It’s also non-polluting and a good way to burn off some

excess calories.

I suppose I could ride one of those “city bikes” or “urban hybrids”

that everyone seems to go for these days. They’re essentially

mountain-bike-ish designs tweaked for city use, and were I the sort of

person trying to shave seconds off my trips, I’d probably get one.

However, there’s a certain charm to the old 1950’s style “cruisers”

that other bikes lack, and having fenders and a chain guard allows me

to dress nicely and bike at the same time. I’m not a stickler for

authencity; I prefer cruisers with hand brakes and gears over the

no-gear versions with coaster brakes that serious cruiser aficionados

go for.


While my bike is my means of transporting myself to and from my

workplace, for some, it is their workplace. Frank Duff is one person

who works on his bike. In September 2003 — roughly around the time I

left independent contract work to accept a full-time job at Tucows —

Duff left the world of programming to become a full-time bike courier:

There are a

number of reasons why the courier life was particularly attractive to

this budding young programmer. Part of it was of course standard Office

Space fantasy. But there was more. Gibson and Stephenson had taught me

that the messenger, the mailman, was a vital romantic figure. The

soldier of the information age.

And I won’t

pretend that I was blind to the fact that, in this urban world, the

devil-may-care deliverator is something of a sex symbol.

And besides, I liked to ride. I loved it.

In A Coder in Courierland,

Duff writes about why he chose to leave the “in the mind” world of

computer programming and go into the “in the body” world of the bike

couriers.

My street musician hobby has given me insights into Accordion City and

the people on its streets that otherwise would’ve escaped my notice. Duff seems to have had the same experience as a courier:

And

couriering will teach you to know your city in ways you never imagined.

I have always loved Toronto, but if you will forgive the metaphor, I

feel that my relationship has transitioned from that of a secret

admirer to that of a lover. I can call up at will the most intimate

details of the financial core and of various tendrils extending

therefrom.

You will

develop a camaraderie with the other peoples of the street. You will

find yourself exchanging knowing nods with hot dog vendors and buskers.

Even mailmen and FedEx drivers (with whom couriers share a mutual

conviction that each’s job is superior to the other’s) become your

brothers and sisters of sorts.

He’s also discovered the power of street cred:

And yes, if you have even the slightest bit of charm, you will have plenty of opportunity to pick up hot receptionists.

Being a bike courier isn’t a job for everyone. It’s

hazardous work; there are a lot of car drivers out there who think that

bikes don’t belong on the road and many more who just have no idea how

to share the road with cyclists. It can be unpleasant biking all day

when it’s 20 degrees below freezing. It also doesn’t pay terribly well.

He says that it worked out to CAD$7.00 an hour when he started out; I

made more than that selling sno-cones in high school, and that was in

1985 dollars. This must’ve been a drastic change from the paycheque he

was collecting as a programmer.

In spite of all the drawbacks, I must credit Duff with taking a chance

and seeing if he was really doing what he wanted to do. I’ve always

said that if you’re going to spend half your waking life doing

something, it shouldn’t be something you hate or dread.

Categories
It Happened to Me Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Slouching Towards Yuppiedom

If my life were a Winnie the Pooh

book (the A.A. Milne version, not the Disney version), the subtitle for

the current chapter would be “In Which the Accordion Guy and the

Redhead Search for a House”.

Unfortunately, Sunday open houses all take place at the same time —

between 2 and 4 in the afternoon. That limits the number of places we

can see today, so I’m taking Wendy on a walking tour of some

neighbourhoods to give her a better “feel” for them, which should be

helpful since she’s not from around here.

See you folks at Kickass Karaoke later tonight!

Categories
Accordion, Instrument of the Gods It Happened to Me Music Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Peril from Beyond Space!

My friend and fellow former regular at Tequila Bookworm Scott Watkins invited me to be the opening act for the first installment of Peril from Beyond Space,

a four-part play that spoofs those old 50’s black and white sci-fi

serials. I used to occasionally provide the music for his improv shows

when he was with Theatresports and miss performing with comedians, so I

accepted his invitation.


My musical/stand-up act is simply a more staged version of my street

musician schtick. The story behind the accordion and the busking act is

here; as for the stand-up, I got into it on a whim while living in San

Francisco. At the time, I was working as OpenCola’s developer

releations guy and shared a small but incredibly cool office with Cory

Doctorow. You could’ve counted the people I knew in town on both hands,

so when I saw a poster for an open mic comedy night at Brain Wash,

the cafe/laundromat across the street from the office, I saw an

opportunity to both meet new people and try something new. My act went

over quite well, and the event’s host, Tony Sparks

(a wonderful guy who gives the best introductions for the newbies),

invited me to do some other gigs at comedy clubs in the city.

I’ve done a little local stand-up — by accident. While hanging out at the bar at the Bovine Sex Club

with the accordion strapped to my back, a guy by the name of Bert

approached me and said “I figure that anyone who carries an accordion

at the Bovine has got

to be funny. Do you do stand-up? Would you like to?” Bert turned out to

be part of a sketch comedy troupe called Slap and Tickle, and I did a handful of shows with them, even getting incorporated into one of their skits. I believe my last gig with them was sometime in 2003.


The Bad Dog Theatre is small theatre near Broadview and Danforth — the western edge of Accordion City’s Greektown — with a main stage that seats sixty or so people. I arrived and met the cast,

all of whom showered me with “thanks for coming” and “hey, I love your

blog”. Then, we started discussing the schedule for the evening’s show.

“The show’s about forty minutes, and we need to fill an hour, so if you could do twenty, we’ll be fine,” said Cary.

Uh-oh.

“My act is seven minutes, eight if I do it like David Carradine,” I

said. “I was under the impression you wanted just the music and a

little banter.”

“Hmm…can you, uh, stretch it to twenty?”

Nearly three times as long?

“If we need to fill more time, I can do my ‘Beat Poetry of Ricardo Montalban’,” offered Scott.

“Crap,” I said, thinking about it. “Oh, what the hell. I accept your challenge!”

I mornally don’t get stage fright — a very embarassing gig in high

school, complete with TV cameras, cured me of that — but this time, I

was a little worried.

After a brief introduction, I walked on stage with the accordion and

did my bit, fattened up with a couple of stories from the old stand-up

routine. It went pretty smoothly. I got laughs for most of my gags and

I avoided the nightmare in which everyone goes silent and the comic

says “Ooh…tough

room.”

After thanking the audience, I went offstage, where the cast said they

liked it. Cary looked at his watch and said “Thirteen, maybe fourteen

minutes. I think we can work with that. Thanks!”

My thanks to the cast and crew of Peril from Beyond Space for inviting

me to open for their opening show, and also to the audience members who

came up to me after the show and said they loved the act and will never

look at the accordion in the same way again. Your taste is impeccable!


Photo: Onstage cast of 'Peril from Beyond Space' -- (l-r) Cary West, Nike Abbott, Paul Koster, Scott Watkins, Sam Agro, and Tracy Shea-Porter.

Theatre keeps them off the streets: from left to right

— Cary West, Nike Abbott, Paul Koster, Scott Watkins, Sam Agro, and

Tracy Shea-Porter.

Here’s the description of Peril from Beyond Space:

The year is 1947. The forces of democracy have triumphed. Millions of

Americans are raising families, buying refrigerators, and wearing

nearly identical suits. Now that fascism has been eradicated, Mr. and

Mrs. Average Homeowner can look forward to a bright new era of peace

and prosperity. Or can they? Little do they realize that a malevolent

alien race has targeted the planet earth – a race of demon monsters

that threatens every single person in the entire world…a Peril – from

Beyond Space!

Peril from Beyond Space

shamelessly savages those old Republic and RKO Pictures “science

fiction” serials, which were often just gangster movies with a

poorly-applied gloss of atomic age/space age paint. There’s plenty of

Buck Rogers pseudoscience hokum, what with the aliens’ anti-gravity

ray, the dashing scientist hero’s energy-damping null ray and

cheese-tastic props. They also poke fun at the old movie conventions

with Dave Till’s stentorian narration (complete with breaks for ads,

such as the coffee featuring “the ingredient that won the war”), the

beautiful fiancee who actually knows more than her scientist betrothed

or his dad even though “science is men’s work” and the best

father-to-son advice ever: “Good grooming equals good science!” My

favourite bit has to be the chase scene; somehow, with only four chairs

and solid thespianism, they pulled off the best one I’ve ever seen in a

stage play, complete with stunt jump!

Photo: Dave Till.

Dave Till is the announcer.

The well-done show ended with a doubly-literal cliffhanger (the

heroes’

car went off a cliff, and the dashing scientist’s name is Cliff), as

will episodes 2 and 3 of this four episode series. I had a ball

watching this show, and were it not for the fact that I have to pick up

Wendy from the airport this Friday, I’d catch it.

Peril from Beyond Space will play at the Bad Dog Theatre (138 Danforth,

at Broadview) this Friday, March 18th, as well as the subsequent two

Fridays (March 25th and April 1st). Tickets are a mere eight bucks

(five for students). Go support some live theatre and be entertained by

some really funny people too!

Categories
Geek It Happened to Me

Signs of Life at the Other Blogs

They’ve been keeping me quite busy here at “Dos Vacas” — so busy, in fact, that I asked ol’ Boss Ross if it would be a problem if I put The Farm and IndieGameDev

on hiatus until, say, April. Ross looked at me if I’d suggested that we

get the department all cross-dressed, liquored up and into a nice

friendly round of Russian Roulette:

Photo: Weird photo featuring three women at dinner with booze, one of whom is holding a gun and suggesting some firearms-based fun.

That’s me, Darryl Green and Ross Rader, all liquored up,

cross-dressed and ready to get our gun on. Or maybe it’s how Dave Winer

imagines the “White Males: Threat or Menace?” panel at Bloghercon would

be like.

So I spent some time this morning following the Getting Things Done

method of looking at upcoming tasks, which is pretty nicely captured in

this infographic from an entry in  MarkTAW.com

Graphic: 'Cascading Next Actions' chart from marktaw.com.

…and after a little thought decided, yeah, I can do those blogs and these projects reasonably.


The Farm has today’s posts up, and I’ll get to IndieGameDev a little later today.

Categories
It Happened to Me

Congrats, Rannie!

The competition was pretty stiff, but in the end, the 2005 Weblog

Awards declared Rannie Turingan’s Photojunkie the Best Canadian Blog of

2005. Congratulations on your second win, Rannie! (He also won in 2003.)

I’d like to offer a hearty congratulations to the other nominees for the Best Canadian Blog title:

Another local blogger, Sam from Daily Dose of Imagery, also got a nomination for Best Photography of a Weblog and won. Congrats, Sam!

I got a chance to catch up with most of the nominees on Saturday at a

gathering that Rannie threw for the nominees for Best Canadian Weblog

(Kelly couldn’t make it). It was possible because this year’s nominees

were all from the Greater Accordion City Area. It was fun, and Kim has a writeup of what happened at Bacon and Eh’s — mine will appear later.

I’d also like to thank all those readers who nominated me both this year and last year. You’re the best.

And hey, I think I’ve got a good shot for the Lifetime Acheivement award next year…

Categories
It Happened to Me

"Mummy, I’m Naked in my UML Place!"

If:

  • You are a former OpenCola employee of the first generation (the

    generation who worked at the original office at Bloor and Church

    Streets)

  • The title of this article has any meaning to you

…then

you might want to contact me. I have the videos, and they’re still just

as funny and disturbing as they were four years ago. I have never been

able to read about the Unified Markup Language without almost bursting into laughter ever since (an amazing thing, since UML is decidedly un-funny).

The videos are courtesy the greatest Roshambo player on Earth.

Categories
It Happened to Me Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

What a Sordid Clientele We Were

For no reason at all (well, perhaps it was inspired by his inviting me to open for his show next Friday), here’s a photo of Scott Watkins enjoying his favourite magazine at Tequila Bookworm, circa 1999:

Photo: Scott Watkins throws the camera a beady-eyed look as he reads 'Cosmo' at Tequila Bookworm. Taken April 1999.