Category: Florida

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Florida Stranger than Fiction The Current Situation

Hurricane Ian follies, part 7: Just use the unlubricated kind!

There are still a lot of prudes here in the Excited States, as evidenced by these headlines, listed in order of increasing inanity:

The reporter in question is Kyla Galer, a reporter from Fort Myers’ WBBH News, who used an old sound engineering trick to protect her microphone when reporting on Hurricane Ian’s progress.

A good microphone can be an expensive investment, and being electrical devices, they can be damaged by moisture. Many audio and video techs use condoms — the unlubricated kind, of course — to cover microphones, and wireless microphone transmitter packs to protect them from moisture at outdoor gigs, or even from sweaty musicians.

They come in several colors, too! Tap to view the source.

They’re much cheaper when you buy them loose and in bulk, which America’s Condom Superstore will gladly sell to you — a mere $15 will get you 50 of these condoms. Perfect if you’re using them to protect sound equipment, or just a cheap fucker.

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Florida It Happened to Me Tampa Bay The Current Situation

Hurricane Ian progress report: Hangin’ in there

Tap to view at full size.

The wind continues to blow, and the rain keeps coming down, but we still have power and there’s no apparent damage to the house.

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Accordion, Instrument of the Gods Florida It Happened to Me The Current Situation

Hurricane Ian progress report: Scorpions on accordion

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Florida It Happened to Me Tampa Bay The Current Situation

Hurricane Ian progress report: The view from here

With Kevlar sheets covering our windows, our view outside is mediated through our video doorbells and side camera. It’s raining hard right now in Seminole Heights, and it’ll likely rain harder as the day goes on.

Here’s what weather radar looks like as I write this:

Tap to view at full size.

Here’s the view from our front doorbell:

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Here’s the view from our porch doorbell:

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And here’s the view from our side camera:

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We’re on a slight incline leading down to the Hillsborough River, so the water in heavy storms tends to roll right past the house. Here’s hoping that it follows tradition this time.

Here’s a photo taken by someone in our neighborhood and posted to one of the (many) Seminole Heights Facebook groups:

Tap to view at full size.
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Florida funny The Current Situation

Hurricane Ian follies, part 5: A cat person has entered the discussion

Facebook comment: “For those with septic tanks that overflow in storms (I don’t know how common that is in South FL, but anyhoo), some cat litter in a Rubbermaid tote makes a pretty good emergency toilet.”
Tap to view the cat person’s suggestion at full size.

I get the feeling that some cat people entertain fantasies about being able to “go” in a box, just like their beloved fur children.

Categories
Florida funny Tampa Bay The Current Situation

Hurricane Ian follies, part 4: We’re still a long way from the “improvise your own toilet” stage

Here’s an amusing discussion on Facebook about makeshift toilets that you can improvise if Hurricane Ian disrupts the water system:

Screen capture of an amusing Facebook discussion about ideas for makeshift toilets.
Tap to view the makeshift toilet discussion at full size.

Here’s a close-up of that “pool noodle on a 5-gallon bucket” toilet. It’s impressive and a little disturbing at the same time:

Here’s another suggestion to use a paint bucket that paints a slightly darker picture:

I don’t know about you, but I’ve filled our giant wheeled trash and recycling bins with water (and a little bleach) that we can use to flush our toilets. If that fails, I’m going to make like the neighborhood cats and just poop in the yard.

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Florida It Happened to Me Tampa Bay The Current Situation

Hurricane Ian progress report: Where Ian is, and where we are

Satellite photo showing Hurricane Ian (which is about the size of Florida) approaching Florida. An arrow labeled “We are here” points to Tampa.
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Where we are — the Seminole Heights neighborhood in Tampa — the rain has begun to fall in earnest, and we’re now just waiting to see what happens when Hurricane Ian arrives.

We’ve deployed the hurricane kevlar…

…we always maintain a good supply of bottled water (which doubles as my CPAP water supply)…

…the pantry is always stocked…

…as is the bar…

…and while the battery stash isn’t as well-stocked as I would like…

…it should be enough.

I’ll keep you posted as the day goes, and while we have power and internet connectivity!