Chanukah, Night Three: The Chanukah Song

Adam Sandler first performed The Chanukah Song [3.3MB, MP3] on Saturday Night Live. Written to make Jewish children feel less isolated during Christmas season, The Chanukah Song  is essentially a laundry list of famous Jewish people, and it’s my gift to you for the third night of Chanukah.  Enjoy!

It took me a while to find a lyrics page for the song that wasn’t rife with ridiculous spelling mistakes or that stupid ee cummings non-capitalization (acceptable for poetry and programming only). For the greater benefit of the Internet, I present the lyrics with proper spelling, capitalization and hyperlinks.

The Chanukah Song

Put on your yarmulke

Here comes Chanukah

So much fun-ukah

To celebrate Chanukah

Chanukah is the festival of lights

Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights

When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree

Here’s a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me

David Lee Roth Lights the menorah

So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli

Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli

Paul Newman’s
half Jewish, Goldie Hawn’s half too

Put them together…what a fine lookin’ Jew!
You don’t need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock

’Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock (both Jewish!)

Put on your yarmulke

It’s time for Chanukah

The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ahs

Celebrates Chanukah

O.J. Simpson: not a Jew

But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew (he converted)

We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby

Harrison Ford’s a quarter Jewish — not too shabby

Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is

Well he’s not, but guess who is: all Three Stooges

So many Jews are in showbiz

Tom Cruise isn’t, but I heard his agent is

Tell your friend Veronica

It’s time to celebrate Chanukah

I hope I get a harmonica

Oh this lovely, lovely Chanukah

So drink your gin and tonic-ah

And smoke your marijuana-kah

If you really, really wanna-kah

Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah

One reply on “Chanukah, Night Three: The Chanukah Song”

I heard this, for the very first time, just a few days before Christmas on a local radio station, but without the DJ giving any ID information. “What a cool song!” I thought.

And now you tell me that the person performing the song was… Adam Sandler?

Oh, man, talk about mixed feelings.

One of our housemates was getting ready to go out with her boyfriend a few weeks ago, and mentioned they were planning to see the new Adam Sandler movie, leading to the following exchange:

Michelle: I like Adam Sandler.

me: Well, it’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

Michelle: Precisely.

— Bruce A.

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