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Random Valentine’s-Themed Graphic #4: Valentine’s Day Expectations vs. Reality, as Explained by “Family Guy”

"Valentine's Day expectations": Dolphin licking Peter Griffin's right nipple

"Valentine's Day reality": Peter Griffin licking his own right nipple in front of horrified onlookers

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Firecrackers and Chinese Manholes: An Explosive Combo

I’ve been running into these videos where someone in China lights a firework, drops it down a manhole and gets literally explosive results. The ensuing blast is powerful enough to launch the manhole cover!

Is this kind of methane buildup particular to sewers in China, or are there other places where the sewers are brimming with poop gas? Is it simply caused by the high population density in Chinese cities coupled with Chinese cabbage or is there some other cause?

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Yo Yo Ma on the Floor of a Bathroom with a Wombat

yo yo ma and wombat

I always knew cello players were weird, but not this weird. Found via Peter Sagal.

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“It’s Not a Good Look”

Photo of a bus shelter ad in Belfast showing a comic illustration of a young woman looking forlornly into a mirror: "I was high on acid and started throwing my poo at people. Now my friends won't talk to me."

Either the advertisers in Northern Ireland have strange imaginations or the acid there is really, really good.

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“Tiny Chainsaw” and “Lupo the Butcher”

Tiny Chainsaw is both a video and a song produced and written by Joel Veitch from rathergood.com, who over the years have brought you gems such as Buffy’s Swearing Keyboard, the kitten videos of Gay Bar, Independent Woman and Fell in Love with a Girl and the We Like the Moon song, which got turned into a Quizno’s ad:

Thanks to Ryan Coleman for pointing me to it!

Some people have mentioned that Tiny Chainsaw could be the new Lupo the Butcher. I say that nothing could ever be Lupo the Butcher but Lupo the Butcher:

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Meanwhile, in Finland…

I have no idea what’s going on in the video, other than “It’s a woman wearing a skull mask and a guy in a black blazer and speedo dancing in a swamp somewhere in Finland,” and that the song in the background is Coconut Woman by Harry Belafonte.

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Disney, Star Wars and Guns ‘n’ Roses, Together at Last!

Back in 1987, Disney and Star Wars first came together with Disneyland’s Star Tours ride, the first such attraction based on a non-Disney film. That same year, Guns ‘n’ Roses released Appetite for Destruction, an album with a slew of rock hits, including Welcome to the Jungle, the second single off that album (a song that got a big boost from the “Dirty Harry” film The Dead Pool).

We would have to wait until 2011 for Disney, Star Wars and G’n’R to join together and form a triumvirate of awesomeness. In case your brain refuses to accept what’s happening in the video above, it’s Welcome to the Jungle featuring the Mos Eisley Cantina Band as backup dancers, Chewbacca as Axl Rose and the Ewoks as guitarists and percussionists (they’re playing on the helmets — or is it decapitated heads? — of fallen stormtroopers and TIE fighter pilots).

I normally don’t go for the live entertainment at Disney parks, but this one I’d love to see.