I’m Calling It That From Now On

The question was raised on FOX affiliate WNYW’s news program: If you can’t call stuff like soy milk, rice milk, almond milk and so on “milk”, what should you call it? Anchor Greg Kelly didn’t think that “soy juice” sounded right, so his co-anchor Rosanna Scotto came up with a better suggestion:

I don’t like soy milk, so I think that Ms. Scotto’s suggested name is right on the money.


Career-Limiting Move

When using your company-assigned laptop to make presentations, remember to disable your pornographically-themed screensaver (and yes, the video below is not safe for work):


“betbot” Makes the Dick Tweet of the Mesh Conference

This article originally appeared in Global Nerdy.

It looks as thought the Twitter user going by the handle of betbot is going to spend the next little while absorbing a very important lesson about managing one’s online persona after making this tweet at the Mesh Conference:

betbot: at #mesh I bet 80% of the people attending have no university degree which explains why they are astonished by whatever they hear

betbot’s profile vaingloriously proclaims that he has three Master’s degrees:

Self-proclaimed marketing guru trying to put my 3 hard-earned Masters to work

If you;ve spent any time on a university campus, you know that having that many Master’s degrees is not a boasting point; it’s a cry for help – it means you’re a shiftless pedant majoring in life-avoidance studies. As for putting “marketing guru” in your Twitter profile; it’s a cliche on par with “I like long walks on the beach” in the personal ads.


Why I Hate Having Multiple Chats

It’s because I always end up typing the wrong message in the wrong chat window. So far, I haven’t done anything as embarrassing as the ChaCha guide below, but I’m not going to tempt fate…

Q: Randy Newman show at Seattle's Moore Theater tonight. What time do the doors open? A: An Eiffel Tower is a threesome with two guys and a girl. The guys are high-fiving over the girl to make the Eiffel Tower shape.
Screen capture courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

[This article was originally posted on Global Nerdy.]

Accordion, Instrument of the Gods In the News

Police Shoot Accordion-Playing Student in German WWII Uniform

Screenshot of German WWII soldiers getting shot from the game "Castle Wolfenstein"

John Bowman just sent me a message linked to a Seattle Times story about the police shooting of a University of Washington student.

Seattle police shot and killed a University of Washington senior who was dressed in a World War II-era German uniform and who officers say was brandishing a long rifle with a bayonet early Thursday in his University District apartment.

The student, identified by friends as Miles Allen Murphy, was well-known on campus as a smart, eccentric history buff who loved to participate in WWII re-enactments and would even show up to class, at times, dressed in a historic uniform.

Murphy was killed about 2 a.m. Thursday when police responded to neighbors’ complaints that several men were shooting vintage, military-style rifles and shotguns into a dark alley near the 5200 block of 17th Avenue Northeast, police spokesman Jeff Kappel said.

When police were called, Kappel said, neighbors pointed out an apartment in a large white house. When police knocked on the door, one of the suspects opened the door brandishing a long rifle with a large bayonet attached.

Uniformed police officers warned the man several times to drop his weapon. He didn’t, Kappel said, and he pointed it at one of the officers. Two officers shot him several times. He died at a hospital Thursday morning, Kappel said.

Yow. The moral of the story is that if you’re dressed in a Nazi uniform and carrying a rifle, people will assume that you’re up to no good.

The story includes quotes from friends who describe him as a history buff and not a neo-Nazi. Also of note is the third paragraph of the story – people who know me will experience a sense of deja vu:

Friends said Murphy, 22, would entertain at parties by playing everything from old German folk songs to Britney Spears tunes on his accordion.


Unfortunate Headline Placement

Toronto Sun Headlines: "Woman Brutally Attacked" beside photo of two Toronto Blue Jays high-fiving with the headline "That's two!"
Photo courtesy of Failblog.
Click the photo to see the original.