Congratulations to my old friends from Crazy Go Nuts University, Ashley Bristowe and Chris “Turner” Turner, on the birth of a healthy 8-pound 9-ounce girl!
It’s a Girl!
- Post author By Joey deVilla
- Post date March 19, 2005
- No Comments on It’s a Girl!
Tag: Life/Yeah…girls…geez
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Your Valentine’s Day Warning
T minus three days!
A scene from last Thursday at the charity event during which I enjoyed more than my fair share of drinks:
Her: So, Accordion Boy, do you and your fiancee have plans for Valentine’s?
Me: Yeah, she’s flying up here Friday evening, and I’m taking her out to Crush for dinner on Saturday.
Her: [Her boyfriend] is soooooo dead! Just one time a year — One! Time! A! Year! — I would just like him to do something romantic…
[approximately five minutes of her ranting and my silent nodding deleted for brevity]
Learn from this, attached gentlemen. Stay out of the doghouse and make reservations while there’s still time.
As for you unattached local guys, she’s pretty and might be available soon…
[via Davezilla] While we’re discussing Ann Coulter, let’s talk about a somewhat related topic: the Anti-Panti.
The name alone should give you some clue as to what it is and what it does. Here’s the description on the Anti-Panti web site:
anti-panti is the answer to all this
underwear nonsense. — thongs, g-strings, low-riders, briefs, boy-cut,
bikini — the list never ends. With Anti-Panti you do not have to
choose. You do not have to think about which underwear works with which
pants, or which is low enough not to peek out the back of your jeans.
Anti-Panti is an adhesive-backed cotton disc that sticks to the inside
of your pants and eliminates the need to wear underwear.
The ergonomic engineer in me says “that can’t be terribly comfortable”
(although thong underwear doesn’t look comfortable either). The party
boy in me says “Wendy, can we put these on the wedding registry?”
Clearly I am unqualified to discuss the merits of the Anti-Panti. I
know a number of free-thinking women who still squirm at the word
“panties” (“It just sounds wrong!”); I imagine they’d have trouble
ordering the product by name. I also expect that Xeni Jardin, Boing Boing’s specialist on all matters rumpy-pumpy will write a first-hand review soon (either her, or the equally entertaining Annalee Newitz would do just fine).
Women readers, what do you think? (I already know what the men readers are thinking: “PHWOOOOOAAARRRR!”)
IKEA has a cute little artifical intelligence program, Anna, who will gladly try to help meet your strangely-named disposable Swedish furniture needs.
Honorary GTABlogger Davezilla had some other Swedish needs (I’ll bet they were strangely-named, too), and he compiled this animation which chronicles his conversation with Anna.
In case you’re not familiar with the term, here’s the Wikipedia entry for “Turing Test”.
Take a look at this screen shot from an old IBM PC game whose filename
was “DONKEY.BAS” (the “.BAS” filename extension denotes that the
program was written in the BASIC programming language):
I will bet that I am the only human being who feels an old adolescent
twinge whenever I see this screen. The reason is that back in 1983,
when I was just shy of turning 16, I was reverse engineering this game
on my friend’s dad’s IBM PC when a girl interrupted me for my first
alcoholic drink and kiss. Had I not been at that machine, that
experience could potentially have been delayed by years (you must
remember that it was 1983, well before the Internet and geek chic made
nerds cool).
Today, I discovered that Bill Gates himself co-wrote DONKEY.BAS. If
Bill hadn’t written that cheesy little demo program, my personal
history would’ve been far less interesting. The girl, you see, was so
much trouble that the rest of the story, I’m afraid, is unbloggable.
Needless to say, the thought of ol’ Bill’s involvement in my first
kiss, however tangential, is a little irksome. I need to do a
double-shot of Crown Royal now.
Thank you, Bill…yeeeeesh.
If you want to play DONKEY.BAS or see its innards, check out this entry on IndieGameDev, where I’ve posted both an executable that’ll run on any Windows box (even XP!) and the BASIC source code.
Let’s say it’s the early 1980’s. You’ve just bought a Quick and Dirty
Operating System and repackaged it for IBM to include with their new
“Personal Computer” (IBM had such a revulsion for non-mainframe things
that the PC was created by the “Entry Systems Division”, which
suggested that these were things you used until you got a real computer).
You’re a hot rising software star, and hot rising software stars need dates. Which photo should you send potential soul mates?
This one?
“I’m plug and play, yo.”
Or this one?
“640K of this action should be enough for anybody, baby!”
(Thanks to Dan Dickinson for the inspiration.)
You can tell just by looking at him.
“He’s a complicated cat and no one understands him but his woo-maaaaaan…”
[Photo courtesy of Adampsyche.]