Categories
The Current Situation

7 Wonders of the Totalitarian World

Man Hands!

It’s all about the giant hands:

7 Wonders of the Totalitarian World
Photos from Esquire, courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

Here’s what these wonders are:

  1. Fist Crushing U.S. Fighter Plane, Libya
  2. Monument to President Laurent Kabila, Democratic Republic of Congo
  3. Lenin’s Mausoleum, Russia
  4. Monument to President Saparmurat Niyazov, Turkmenistan
  5. Mao Leading the Chinese People’s Liberation Army, China
  6. The Hands of Victory, Iraq
  7. Monument to the Founding of the North Korean Worker’s Party, North Korea

Render Into Caesar

If the folks at Family Security Matters have their way — see this article from Google’s cache titled Conquering the Drawbacks of Democracy (they’ve since taken the article down from their site) — America could earn its own totalitarian wonder. Here’s an excerpt (the emphasis is mine):

Caesar pacified Gaul by mass slaughter; he then used his successful army to crush all political opposition at home and establish himself as permanent ruler of ancient Rome. This brilliant action not only ended the personal threat to Caesar, but ended the civil chaos that was threatening anarchy in ancient Rome – thus marking the start of the ancient Roman Empire that gave peace and prosperity to the known world.

If President Bush copied Julius Caesar by ordering his army to empty Iraq of Arabs and repopulate the country with Americans, he would achieve immediate results: popularity with his military; enrichment of America by converting an Arabian Iraq into an American Iraq (therefore turning it from a liability to an asset); and boost American prestiege while terrifying American enemies.

He could then follow Caesar’s example and use his newfound popularity with the military to wield military power to become the first permanent president of America, and end the civil chaos caused by the continually squabbling Congress and the out-of-control Supreme Court.

President Bush can fail in his duty to himself, his country, and his God, by becoming “ex-president” Bush or he can become “President-for-Life” Bush: the conqueror of Iraq, who brings sense to the Congress and sanity to the Supreme Court. Then who would be able to stop Bush from emulating Augustus Caesar and becoming ruler of the world? For only an America united under one ruler has the power to save humanity from the threat of a new Dark Age wrought by terrorists armed with nuclear weapons.

It’s a bit over-the-top, even for neocons. I had to look around the site to confirm that it wasn’t some kind of Daily Show or Onion-style parody. Apparently, it’s the real, non-ironic deal.

Anyhow, if Family Security Matters get their wish, may I suggest this as a design for their totalitarian monument?

“Bob’s Big Boy” statue

Categories
funny

He Didn’t Order the Happy Meal

We all have days where we feel like this guy:

Husky death metal teen sitting alone in a food court
Photo courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

Categories
funny

Ten Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag

I enjoy both smart-assery and dressing up, so this snarky-but-spot-on piece in Magnificent Bastard, titled Ten Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag, amused me to no end. Here’s a preview:

Ten Ways to Look Like a Total Toolbag
Click the picture to see the article.

The ten ways, which are elaborated upon in the article, are:

  1. Backwards baseball cap
  2. Oakley Blades sunglasses
  3. Bluetooth headset
  4. Gold necklace
  5. Tommy Bahama shirt
  6. National Review magazine
  7. Belt-clipped cellphone
  8. “Cause” wristband
  9. Over-the-knee double-pleated shorts
  10. Crocs

I do occasionally wear a Tommy Bahama shirt when it climbs past 30 degrees (that’s 86 for my American friends), but I have a genetic right: I’m from a tropical country and I can pass for Hawaiian.

[Found via Reddit.]

Categories
Geek It Happened to Me

Notes from FacebookCamp, Part 1

Caitlin O’Farrell at the podium at FacebookCamp Toronto
Facebook’s Caitlin O’Farrell gets the ball rolling at FacebookCamp Toronto.

Accordion City loves Facebook — we’ve got 725,000 Facebook users (out of a population of around 3 million), and until recently, we were the number 1 city in the world as far as Facebook users go.

It’s not just ordinary Toronto Facebook users who are in love with social networking site; Torotno developers are also interested, if last night’s attendance at FacebookCamp Toronto — 450 to 500, depending on whom you ask — is any indication. This gathering of developers interested in writing applications for Facebook — the first of its kind held outside the U.S. — attracted so many people that they had to change the venue three times before landing a place big enough to accomodate everyone: the MaRS Centre, a centre for promoting high-tech and biotech research in Toronto. Even with the MaRS Centre’s large auditorium, set to seat over 400 people, they set up a spill-over room with simulcast video to handle all the attendees.

My first set of notes from last night’s presentation is up, and you can read them on these blogs:

Wayne “Bunnyhero” Lee gives the thumbs-up beside a sign showing FacebookCamp’s sponsors
Wayne “bunnyhero” Lee approves of FacebookCamp’s sponsors.

Categories
funny

Summertime in London

Eurostar ad “Summertime in London” featuring a London Tower guard getting his head shaved.
Photo courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

Categories
Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Facebook Developer Garage Tonight!

Facebook Developer Garage logo

Tonight’s the night: Facebook Developer Garage (a.k.a. FacebookCamp) happens tonight at 6:30 p.m. at the Mars Discovery District (101 College Street, Toronto). This will be the first of a series of Facebook Garages/Camps; there’s already talk of holding another one for the fall. If you’re interested in developing applications to run on the Facebook platform, this is a must-catch event, as not only are about 300 local developers planning to attend — the event has garnered so much attention that Facebook is flying reps up to speak. As you can imagine, seating will be limited, so if you can come early, do so.

I’ll be taking my usual copious notes and will post them here, so watch this space!

Here’s the schedule of tonight’s events:

When What’s Happening
6:00 p.m. Social/mingling
6:30 Introduction by Colin Smillie Roy Pereira and Andrew Cherwenka
6:40 Best Practices around Product Design and Viral Marketing by Meagan Marks, Facebook.com
7:30 Anatomy of a Facebook Application by Jay Goldman and Michael Glenn, Radiant Core
7:50 FBML Overview by Sunil Boodram, Trapeze Media
8:10 FQL Overview by Craig Saila
8:30 Updating the Facebook Profile by Colin Smillie, Refresh Partners
8:50 Demo: .Net Sample Application by Ricardo Covo
9:00 Demo: Carpool by Zimride by Rajat Suri
9:10 Demo: Ogrant by Shachin Ghelani
9:20 Wrap-up and drinks

Cross-posted to the Tucows Developer Blog

Categories
funny

C’mon…Dude…Finish…Already!

Man on ladder as another man gives the ladder a boost.
Photo courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele and Kokogiak.