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“Save the Sea Kittens”: PETA’s Lamest Campaign Yet

Screenshot of PETA's "Save the Sea Kittens" site

PETA – the food Taliban – continue to scrape of the bottom of the barrel for ideas. Their latest campaign is Save the Sea Kittens, in which they attempt to stop people from eating fish by branding them as “Sea Kittens”.

I have bad news for you: I’m Asian, and I think of cats as egg rolls waiting to happen.

Scene from the "South Park" episode "Fun with Veal"

The concept of rebranding animals in order to stop people from eating them isn’t terribly original. It was done in South Park back in April 2002 in the episode Fun With Veal. In the episode, the kids try to save a herd of baby cows from being turned into veal by stealing them and demanding that the beef industry rebrand veal as “tortured baby cow meat”. In the end, they have to stop; as a result of going vegetarian, Stan breaks out in vaginas and only an infusion of meat stops him from “turning into a total pussy”.

[Found via kottke.]

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Greeting Cards for the Inauguration

The people at someecards are always creating timely new cards to fit the current zeitgeist, so I wasn’t surprised when they came up with plenty for tomorrow’s festivities. Click on any of the cards below to send them to a friend!

Greeting card: "We've now learned that a decimated economy, a clusterfucked war, and the worst-run Republican campaign in history is all it takes for America to elect a black guy."

Greeting card: "It may take a while to adjust to a president who doesn't fill every speech with cringe-inducing gaffes, denial and arrogance."

Greeting card: "This inauguration feels like the first date with a really great guy after an eight-year dysfunctional relationship with a loser who spent all my money."

Greeting card: "Just curious if you're interested in watching the inauguration even though your candidate lost."

Greeting card: "I firmly believe Obama is going to fuck things up less."

Greeting card: "Let's celebrate a new era of racial harmony by considering drinking somewhere other than a non-threatening, mostly Caucasian bar."

Greeting card: "I'm proud to say I was alive when Bush's approval ratings sank lower than those of the only president ever forced to resign."

Let’s face it; people from both vote with their adrenal glands, not their brains:

Greeting card: "I can't wait to find out why we voted for Obama."

someecards tries to address everyone’s greeting card needs. There’s even a card that Steve Sailer and the Bell Curve crowd would gladly send out!

Greeting card: "I couldn't be happier to take part in the ongoing dismantling of my race's dominance."

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In the News

The Frat Boy Ships Out

George W. Bush carrying a copy of "Presidency for Dummies"The smarty-pants English-Americanophile magazine The Economist has published their editorial summarizing the Bush presidency, The Frat Boy Ships Out. Here are a few snippets from the article:

Mr Bush is what the British call an inverted snob. A scion of one of America’s most powerful families, he is a devotee of sunbelt populism; a product of Yale and Harvard Business School, he is a scourge of eggheads. Mr Bush is a convert to an evangelical Christianity that emphasises emotion—particularly the intensely emotional experience of being born again—over ratiocination. He also styled himself, much like Reagan, as a decider rather than a details man; many people who met him were astonished by what they described as his “lack of inquisitiveness” and his general “passivity”.

Lack of curiosity also led Mr Bush to suspect intellectuals in general and academic experts in particular. David Frum, who wrote speeches for Mr Bush during his first term, noted that “conspicuous intelligence seemed actively unwelcome in the Bush White House”. The Bush cabinet was “solid and reliable”, but contained no “really high-powered brains”. Karen Hughes, one of his closest advisers, “rarely read books and distrusted people who did”. Ron Suskind, a journalist, has argued that Mr Bush created a “faith-based presidency” in which decisions, precisely because they were based on faith, could not be revised subsequently.

Relentless partisanship led to the politicisation of almost everything Mr Bush did. He used his first televised address to justify putting strict limits on federal funding for stem-cell research, and used the first veto of his presidency to prevent the expansion of that funding. He appointed two “strict constructionist” judges to the Supreme Court, John Roberts and Samuel Alito, turned his back on the Kyoto protocol, dismissed several international treaties, particularly the anti-ballistic-missile treaty, loosened regulations on firearms and campaigned against gay marriage. His energy policy was written by Mr Cheney with the help of a handful of cronies from the energy industry. His lacklustre attorney-general Alberto Gonzales, who was forced to resign in disgrace, was only the most visible of an army of over-promoted, ideologically vetted homunculi.

Mr Bush’s presidency is not without its merits. He supported sensible immigration reform. He proposed tighter regulation of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the now-nationalised mortagage agencies. Congress stymied him on both points. He promoted more members of minorities than any previous president; and he also stood up to the Dixiecrat wing of his party, edging Trent Lott, a Mississippi senator, out of his job as majority leader for segregation-favouring remarks. He maintained good relations with India, Japan and, particularly, Africa, where he launched a $15 billion anti-AIDS programme.

The neoconservatives who had such influence over Mr Bush argued that unintended consequences were usually more important than the intended ones. The Bush presidency has proved them right in this, if in little else.

It is not all his fault. But for the most part, good policy repeatedly took a back seat to Mr Bush’s overweening political ambition. Both the country and, ultimately, the Republican Party are left the worse for it.

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The Atlantic’s “Bush Years” Infographic

The infographic below is from the current issue of The Atlantic and shows a set of quantifiable changes in the United States between 2000 and 2008. Click it to see it at full size:

Infographic from "The Atlantic" shaped like the U.S. showing changes between 2000 and 2008

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The Cure for Our Cold Weather: Sausage Gravy!

The temperatures predicted for later this week in Accordion City don’t look terribly promising:

Screen capture from the Weather Network site showing high and low temperatures for latter part of week: Wed -14C/-19C, Thu -16C/-21C, Fri -11C/-21C, Sat -9C/-16C, Sun -7C/-14C

As a point of reference for my American readers, –11 degrees C, the average daytime temperature over these 5 days, is 12 degrees F. –18 degrees C, the average nighttime temperature over these 5 days, is 0 degrees F.

There is something that can help, but unfortunately, it’s not available in Canada. I’m talking about Bob Evans biscuits and gravy, complete with sausage gravy dispenser:

Food counter at a convenience store with Bob Evans sausage gravy dispenser

Why, oh why, don’t our 7-11 stores stock this stuff? I love biscuits and gravy. If it were socially acceptable (that is, if The Missus would let me), I’d spend my day sitting in a tub of it.

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In the News

Memo to George Lagogianes: It’s the ISRAELI Consulate, Not the JEWISH Consulate

CP24 reporter George Lagogianes is reporting from the protests outside the Israeli Consulate near Bloor and Avenue Road. He keeps alternating between calling it “the Israeli Consulate” and “the Jewish Consulate”. For his benefit, I now present a quick primer:

  • An Israeli is a citizen of the country of Israel.
  • A Jew is a member of the Jewish ethnoreligious group.

While Israel is a Jewish nation-state and three-quarters of Israel is Jewish, not all Jews are Israelis. According to Wikipedia, there are about as many Jews in the United States as there are in Israel.

Here’s a Venn diagram that should simplify matters:

Venn diagram showing Jews and Israelis

Calling it “the Jewish Consulate” is like referring to the American Consulate as “the Christian Consulate” or the Indian Consulate as “the Hindu Consulate”. People at the homegrown TV news station of one of the world’s most multicultural cities should know better.

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“The Recently Deflowered Girl” (1965) – Illustrated by Edward Gorey

This article was updated on May 11, 2009 in response to a request from attorneys for Edward Gorey’s estate. They were actually pretty cool; instead of a full takedown notice, they said I could keep up to 10% of the content of the book in the article and state that permission to reproduce said excerpts has been provided by the Edward Gorey Charitable Trust.

I knew that Shel Silverstein published different works aimed for “kid” and “adult” audiences, but I had no idea that Edward Gorey did the same – at least not until I saw The Recently Deflowered Girl. It’s a 1965 parody of etiquette books that seems quaint now, but must’ve seemed racy back in those days when Playboy was where you got not just the pictures of nude women, but good advice on stereos and cocktails.

Someone on LiveJournal published scans from the book this week. Since its posting, it got popular and the account – and hence the scans of the book – were deleted. I copied the images before that happened, and — with the permission of Edward Gorey’s estate’s lawyers, I’ve been allowed to publish a selection of the pages from the book for your enjoyment.

Present-day pop culture likes to portray Asian men, a category of which I am a member, as effete and unmasculine. Oddly enough, The Recently Deflowered Girl bucked this trend in that ten percent of the book’s deflowerings were carried out by Chinese men, the most-cited ethnicity in the book. I thought it only fitting that I post those two deflowerings. To my horny Asian brothers, this one’s for you, and as we like to say: Everybody Wang Chung tonight!

Click on any of the scans below to see them at full size:

recently_deflowered_girl_01

recently_deflowered_girl_08

recently_deflowered_girl_21