Categories
It Happened to Me

My “Dad” story for 2020

My move from Toronto to Florida — a little over six years ago now — forced me to really apply a rule I try to follow: If you’ve been hanging onto something and never use it, let it go. Sell it, give it to someone who really needs it, or toss it. I’ve had to use this rule more since moving from Toronto to Tampa, as the move required me to take only what I could fit in my old car, and because I didn’t want to treat my mother’s basement in Toronto like a free storage place forever.

In spite of this rule, I’ve hung on to one piece of clothing that I’ve had since the very last days 1999 and that I almost never wear. It’s a grey zippered sweatshirt, a photo of which you’ll see later on in this article. There’s nothing terribly bad about it; I like the color, but the cut’s all wrong, it’s a little too big, it has ridiculous snap-straps all over (in the photo, you can see one of them around the neck). While it’s perfectly serviceable, I don’t like it enough to keep it under normal circumstances. It would’ve ended up at the drop-off of a Goodwill or some other charity ages ago. Still, I keep it, and I only get it dry-cleaned by professionals. Why? Because it’s a special gift from my dad.

Late December, 1999

In 1999, my former high school classmate André Fenton was doing neuroscience research at the Czech Academy of Sciences and decided that he wanted to ring in the year 2000 by throwing a big New Year’s Eve party in the nicest place that he could rent somewhere near Prague.

He found a great place — Zamek Roztěž (although these days, it’s marketed as Casa Serena Chateau and Gold Resort). It’s a “hunting castle” originally built in the late 1600s in the village of Roztěž, located in the Kutna Hora district, about 80 kilometers (50 miles) east of Prague. I was invited to the party, and while there, had a grand old time:

Upon hearing that I would be staying at a castle somewhere in the central European woods in the dead of winter, Dad decided to surprise me by buying me something to keep me warm. That thing was the zippered sweatshirt, and he gave it to me just as he dropped me off at the airport to catch my flight to Amsterdam, and then Prague.

“I got this for you. I don’t want you to be cold when you’re in that castle.”

I thanked him for the sweatshirt, gave him a big hug, wished him a happy new year in advance, and told him that I’d send photos that I’d take with my still-newish digital camera (1024 by 768 pixels in super-fine mode!) to mom via email (he never had an email address).

It’s not really what I would’ve bought, but it’s big and warm, I thought, and it served me well on the flight, in the castle (which wasn’t all that cold — they’d been doing a fair bit of renovating), and especially well on a hike around the castle grounds with some lovely company on the night of January 1st, 2000:

Twenty years later

Because I am a big ol’ sentimental softie, not only have I kept this sweatshirt that I don’t really like all these years, but I take it with me whenever I travel far to someplace cold, as a sort of comforting tradition. I wore it walking through the streets of Prague, while shivering on the slopes at Whistler while trying to figure out how snowboarding worked. I wore it when I was conducting mobile technology assessments in the bitter cold of Athabasca’s oil sands. As I drove through the snow-covered hills of West Virginia on those chilly days of March 2014 as I moved to Tampa to be with Anitra, I had it on. I bring it with me on our trips to Toronto in winter. I last wore it during the handful of days that Tampa gets close to freezing, when the office’s heating just wasn’t keeping up. It keeps me warm, not only in the physical sense, but also in the way that it reminds me of his kindness and generosity.

Me, in the “Dad sweatshirt”.

Dad died at the end of February 2006. But thanks to this sweatshirt that I normally wouldn’t be all that crazy about, I have a little bit of him that I can take with me when I’m cold and far from home. That’s why I’ll never part with it.

Happy Father’s Day, everyone.

Categories
The Current Situation

Video of the day: Trump’s post-rally walk of shame

Andrew “@AmoneyResists” Wortman posted this on Twitter:

Over the next couple of days, you’ll hear attempts to reframe the Tulsa rally as a success. When you do, and should you start believing the propaganda, come back here. Watch the video and see the truth about how it really went, as evidenced by the body language of utter defeat (and let’s face it, a complete lack of grit).

It tells you everything you need to know without a single word from Team Trump or “Vanilla ISIS” — and hence, without a single lie.

Categories
The Current Situation

Photo of the day: Social distancing at the Trump rally in Tulsa

Tap the photo to see it at full size.

The turnout at yesterday’s ill-considered rally was just under 6,200, which is less than a third of the stadium’s capacity of 19,200. This is good news not just for the safety of attendees — many of whom wrongly (and for non-scientific ideological reasons) think that the coronavirus threat is exaggerated — but probably civilization in general.

Categories
The More You Know...

What do “stan” and “spilling tea” mean?

I have a number of readers from outside North America who’ve asked me the meaning of two American English expressions: stan and spilling tea.

“Stan” means “hyper-obsessed fan.” It comes from Eninem’s number, Stan (the video is above) — the one where Eminem raps over Dido’s Thank You in the voice of a creepy, increasingly-unhinged fan who’s obsessed with him. Stan was added to the Merriam-Webster dictionary last year.

You’ve probably heard the term “Stan” recently, due to the activism by “K-Pop Stans” — fans of Korean pop bands — who’ve been organizing online to thwart the racist hashtag #WhiteLivesMatter and more recently, who took some of the air out of the Trump rally by signing up for tickets with no intention of attending. 감사합니다 / gamsahabnida / thank you, K-Pop stans!

Check out Vice’s article: Eminem’s “Stan” Gave a Face and Name to Fandom.

To “spill tea” means “to gossip.” The term has come up on Twitter over gossip about Amy “Central Park Karen” Cooper’s very expensive affair with a married man.

Want to know its origin? The podcast A Way with Words has you covered.

Categories
The Current Situation

Tweet of the day: On the subject of statues

Tap the image to see the original tweet.

Categories
Internet Finds

“Saxsquatch” will renew your faith in humanity (or its close cryptid cousin)

With 2020 being as “2020” as it can get, it’s reassuring to know that people like Saxsquatch exist. He’s a guy who like to put on a Sasquatch outfit, get into the woods, and play the sax.

How about this seasonal-appropriate one: Summertime?

Or God Only Knows by the Beach Boys?

He’s not limited to just the saxophone. Here’s a fully-instrumented cover of Daft Punk’s One More Time:

And he performs in places other than the woods, as this full show footage shows:

Check out the other videos on his YouTube channel!

Categories
Stranger than Fiction

Headline of the day: “Pair hired for man’s broom sexual fantasy turn up in bedroom at wrong address with machetes”

Shadow of machete with headline “Pair hired for man’s broom sexual fantasy turn up in bedroom at wrong address with machetes / After appearing in an unsuspecting resident’s bedroom with knives at 6.15am, the duo accepted their mistake, saying ‘sorry mate’”

The Sky News headline reads “Pair hired for man’s broom sexual fantasy turn up in bedroom at wrong address with machetes,” and has the subheading “After appearing in an unsuspecting resident’s bedroom with knives at 6.15am, the duo accepted their mistake, saying ‘sorry mate’”.

I love the rather matter-of-fact account of what happened:

Police said the intended client had “history and proclivity for engaging the services of people”.

He had made arrangements with a man on Facebook for people to engage in the role play, and sent his address – before he later updated it after moving house more than 30 miles away.

But the resident of the home where the men mistakenly turned up to told police that when he noticed a light on in his lounge at around 6.15am, he assumed it was a friend who visits daily to make coffee.

He said he called out: “B***** off, it’s too early.”

After hearing a voice asking “is your name Kevin?”, the man said he turned his light on to see two men he did not recognise standing next to his bed, both holding machetes.

A conversation then ensued, in which the pair repeatedly sought to establish whether he was “Kevin”, each time being told “no” in response.

At one point, one of them asked: “Are you sure you are not Kevin as we were told to come to [this address] and pick up Kevin.”

Eventually accepting their error, the duo then left, with one saying “sorry mate” and shaking the resident’s hand, while the other said “bye”.

The resident then called police.

I have questions:

  1. It’s supposed to be a “broom fantasy”. Why did they bring machetes?
  2. How do you get a wrong address in the age of GPS?
  3. Maybe I’m getting old, but who schedules a fantasy encounter for 6:15 a.m.? These days, the only thing I fantasize about at that time is more sleep.