Categories
Uncategorized

Gorgeous afternoon vistas, loud music and something called "Slanty Panties"

Here are some photos I took yesterday afternoon in the Queen and John area and last night at the Neksis magazine first anniversary party at Lee’s Palace. These feature Fresh Meat, Merkury Burn, Abs and Fase and Heaven Lee throwing panties at the audience. Fun, but not for the whole family.

Slight update: I changed someone’s name to their stage name.

Yesterday afternoon marked another day of hot, sunny weather, but the heat and humidity were offset by strong breezes that made the day more bearable and the evening pleasant. Here are a couple of shots I took near the office…

Photo: John Street, looking north from near the office.

John Street. This accordion player don’t work in no stuffy office park! This is the view when I step outside the office.

Photo: The garden view convenience store/plant shop on Queen Street West, looking west from John Street.

Queen Street greenery. Here’s the view from Garden View, the 24-hour convenience-and-plant store, close to both home and the office.

Later that evening, I made my way to Lee’s Palace, where my friend “Too Tall” Tina Gravelson’s band, Fresh Meat, were playing. Heaven Lee, whom you may remember from this shot at Indie Incubation, was also there, and she told me she would be joining the band onstage.

Me: I didn’t know you played any instruments.

Heaven Lee: I don’t.

Me: Then you’re singing backup? Or maybe go-go dancing!

Heaven Lee: No, silly! I’ll be cooking hot dogs and handing out Slanty Panties!

Me: Slanty…panties? You mean like those panties worn by Japanese high school girls? The ones you can buy from vending machines in Tokyo?

Heaven Lee: Like that, except I’ll be peeling them off and giving them to the crowd.

Me: You can never go too classy.

Heaven Lee: And there’s hot dogs too!

Photo: Tina before the show.

Chilling before the gig. Tina hangs out at the bar before the show.

Photo: Frash Meat on stage. Mandra straps on the bass, while Heaven Lee, wearing a see-through top and several layers of panties, cooks hot dogs on a George Foreman grill.

Fresh Meat’s set begins. Ooh! Is that a see-though-top? Double-ooh! Is that a George Foreman grill? Triple-ooh! Are those hot dogs?!

Photo: Tina, Mandra and the drummer rock out.

Let’s rock! Fresh Meat ripped into a short but energetic set, which was made surreal by Heaven Lee’s cooking hot dogs on stage left as they played.

Photo: Heaven Lee, resplendent in her see-through top and wearing several layers of panties, preparing hot dogs.

Mmmmm….hot dogs. Heaven Lee’s multi-tasking here, preparing hot dogs and making special prize packages of classic Chinese food cartons stuffed with gifts, panties and topless polaroids of her.

Photo: Mandra close up.

Mandra! Mandra gives the bass a good workout.

Photo: Tina rocking out on her guitar.

Eat yer heart out, Avril Lavigne! Tina’s taller and could kick your ass!

Photo: Another full band shot with Tina in the foreground.

Fresh Meat in tha house! Say, do you smell hot dogs?

Photo: Tina rocking out with gee-tar, again.

Tina! In this shot, you can’t see the run in her stocking.

Photo: Mandra plays bass, while Heaven Lee strips off yet another layer of panties.

Striptease! Heaven Lee wore several layers of panties, which she stripped off one at a time over the course of the set. They went into gift packagaes, which she threw into the audience at the end of the set. Ain’t rock and roll grand?

Photo: Me and Will McLean, shocked at the outrage onstage.

Shocked and appalled. Will McLean and I, being two decent gentlemen, are stunned at the outrage taking place onstage.

Photo: Marta, Jenn, and some guy.

Neither shocked nor appalled In fact, Jenn (in front) looks sex-kittenish. Marta, Jenn and some guy like what’s happening onstage.

Photo: Butt shot. Heaven Lee waits for the hot dogs to cook, and she's down to the mesh undies.

Are those hot dogs done yet? Nice gitch, Heaven Lee.

As promised, Heaven Lee put the layers of panties she removed and put them into classic Chinese food take-out cartons and tossed them into the audience. Jenn and I each caught one and opened them.

Me: Panties…lots of confetti…ooh!

Jenn (looking at the Polaroid I pulled from the carton): What’s that?

Me: It’s a picture…of Heaven Lee. Topless, spread eagled on a couch. It looks like the backstage couch.

Jenn (reading what Heaven Lee wrote on the photo): “Love, Slanty Panties.” Nice.

Me: There’s some candy here, too.

Jenn: And look, two packs of condoms!

Me: Wait…those aren’t condom packs. They’re…pre-moistened hand wipes.

Jenn: Oh. Ewwww!

Me: You didn’t say “Ewwww” about condoms, but you did about hand wipes?

Jenn: Think about it. They came with her panties and a boob shot of her.

Me: Ewwwwww!

Photo: Jenn and me, posing with our prizes and Heaven Lee's panties on our heads.

They make nice hats too. At the end of the set, Heaven Lee tossed the prize packages into the audience, and Jeen and I caught one each. The prize packs contained the panties that Heaven Lee stripped off during the set, and we found that they made excellent headgear.

Photo: Some guy, Tina and me, hanging out after the set.

After a gig, there’s nothing like chilling out with your friends.

Photo: Some guy, Tina and Jenn.

Poses, everyone!

Photo: Tina's PVC-gloved hands, her fishnet-stockinged knees, and her beer.

Tina’s gloves, specially designed for guitar-playin’ and groupie-spankin’. Nice fishnets, girl, but perhaps you should switch to a less watery, less proletarian beer.

Merkury Burn are Toronto’s Goth rock darlings, and they’ve got a great sound. They came on after Fresh Meat, and I got a couple of shots of them…

Photo: Merkury Burn's guitarist wails while the vocalist grabs his crotch and breaks out the riding crop.

Merkury Burn get their kink on. All real rock and roll acts involve at least one crotch-grabbing per gig. The riding crop is a bonus.

Photo: Merkury Burn, toronto's Goth rock darlings, rip it up at Lee's Palace.

“I’m gonna dress you up in my love…” Merkury Burn opened with a gothed-out, glammed out cover of Madonna’s Dress You Up.

Later that evening, Abs and Fase (I believe that was their name) came on with the hip-hop act. They’re really good!

Photo: Cute Asian rapper girl.

Boo-yah! If there’s one thing that Toronto has in abundance, it’s cute girls who can rap.

Photo: Sunny D, cute white rapper girl.

Double boo-yah! For one number, Sunny D joined the rap, doubling the cute rapper girl factor. Say, do you need an accordion player who knows his blues scales really well?

All in all, a silly evening.

Categories
Uncategorized

Happy Independence Day!

Your ‘umble accordion-playing pal would like to wish all his American friends a happy and safe Fourth of July, that blessed holiday when Ted Turner’s SuperStation broadcasts nothing but John Hughes movies all day long!

Remember, the key to defeating the aliens is to disable their force fields by planting a virus in the poorly-secured server on the mother ship.

Categories
Uncategorized

Fresh Meat tonight

Toronto’s tallest band, Fresh Meat, featuring Mandra on bass and “Too Tall” Tina Gravelson on gee-tar, play tonight at Lee’s Palace at 9:30 p.m.

Neksis magazine (which I mentioned in a blog entry waaaay back in March) is having their first anniversary party tonight at Lee’s Palace, a Toronto rock and roll institution. Several bands, including headliners Merkury Burn, will be playing. The first act will be Toronto’s tallest band, Fresh Meat, featuring my friends Tina and Mandra! You might remember them from such gigs as Indie Incubation at the Steam Whistle brewery, where I also played with Lindi. Unfortunately, being the very first band in a long lineup means that they’re going on at the unfashionably early hour of 9:30 p.m. and need your support. Be sure to be there early and scream for Tina (or, if you prefer, Mandra. Or both of them, you polymorphous pervert.)

Photo: Tina trying on my accordion at the Bovine Sex Club.

Photo: Tina and Mandra, practicing their sneers at Kensington Market's Club 56.

Categories
Uncategorized

Queen Street Stories, part 6

A hardware hacker’s advice

Active Surplus, mid-afternoon:

“Accordion Guy,” said the stubble-faced, sweat-drenched, too-jaded-for-his-age guy behind the counter as he lit his cigarette with a soldering iron, “if it’s got boobs, an engine or a processor, sooner or later, it’ll give you nuthin’ but trouble.”

Categories
Uncategorized

Movin’ on up

I’ve moved up to Blogger Pro. This probably won’t mean anything to a good number of my readers, but this blog now pings Weblogs.com and has an RSS feed. XML’s pull is so great that not even my self-indulgence can escape!

I’m pleased to announce this blog’s move to Blogger Pro, which means a couple of things:

  • The Adventures of AccordionGuy (and soon, The Happiest Geek on Earth) now has an RSS feed. You can point your news aggregator at http://www2.cyberpixels.com/~kode/shame/rss.xml to get a summary of the most recent postings. I’ve got Blogger Pro’s RSS feature set so that the description section displays the first 255 characaters rather than the entire damned posting (after all, RSS is short for RDF site summary). To make the RSS feed a little more useful, any blog entry of mine that’s longer than a couple of lines will start with summary text, followed by the body of the entry. (If you’re using Mac OS X, may I recommend my pal Chris Cummer’s news aggregator, Pineapple?)
  • Any time I update the blog, it’ll ping Weblogs.com, an online list of the most recently updated weblogs
  • The people behind Blogger whom I know, Ev and Steve, got US$35 of my money, which will go a little way to keeping them employed and off the streets. I have no doubt that an unemployed Steve Jenson would fill his days trying to entertain passersby on the sidewalk with that trick where he lies down and claps his bare feet together.

Now if I can only get my hosting company to map kode-fu.com properly….

Categories
Uncategorized

Welcome, Biella!

Biella Coleman from the EFF has come up to Toronto and staying at Casa di AccordionGuy for the week. She’s just arrived, and I’ll be showing her the neighbourhood in a couple of minutes.

I love playing tour guide.

Categories
It Happened to Me

Being Boring, Part 2

A couple of phone conversations further underscoring the fact that I’m not boring enough. What is it with you people?

A Telephone Conversation, Sometime in April

M: You’re pretty urban, aren’t you?

Me: Urban?

M: Very at home in the city. The noise, the traffic, the craziness, the things that happen when you carry your accordion around…

Me: I guess so. Until I went to Kingston, Toronto was the least urban place I’d ever lived in.

M: Your life is a little…fast. I don’t know if I could keep up with that kind of thing.

And shortly after that, she stopped returning my messages.

Maybe what happened on our date freaked her out more than I thought.

A Conversation in May

Me: So, hypothetically speaking, going out with me would be a bad idea because…?

R: Our lifestyles are way too different. I wear suits to work, you wear skater shirts and running shoes. You like to go out; I like to stay in. I like well-planned weekends; you once flew to DC so that some girl wouldn’t have to see the Dalai Lama alone…

Me: Hey, I had some airline points and she was cute. Besides, the Dalai Lama is one deep brutha.

R: Last week, you just hopped in your car and drove to Guelph to gather around a bonfire with people you didn’t know!

Me: I was invited, and I needed to get outdoors. I’d been cooped in a conference hotel in the blandest part of NoCal all week!

R: All that stuff — it’s just not my kind of thing.

How boring — or is stable a better word — do I have to be?

I don’t have any tattoos or piercings because I hate needles. I take my vitamins every day. I’m a non-smoker, I have no drug addictions and I don’t go on serious benders very often. I clear my credit card balance at the end of every month. I visit my parents every Sunday for our family dinner. I know which fork is for salad and which is for the main course. I have never had to phone for bail money from a Mexican holding cell. For Chrissake, I have white couches!

(Seriously, if white non-IKEA, non-discount, non-hand-me-down couches don’t say “stable”, I don’t know what does.)

More later…