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In the News It Happened to Me

Travel Advisory for People Flying to the British Isles

In case you’re flying to the British Isles, please note that the security level at their airports is still at “Severe” (the second-highest level, one just below “Critical”). By now, you’re probably aware of the current restriction that prohibits you from bringing liquids, gels and aerosols onto a plane, but you might not be aware of a couple of other security measures, some of which aren’t published anywhere. I encountered these on my return trip from Belfast.

One Small Carry-Item Only

This restriction is published in an announcement on Belfast International Airport’s site. I also wrote about it in this post: you’re allowed only one carry-on item when boarding a plane at a British airport, and it may not exceed these dimensions:

  • 45 cm (about 17 3/4″) long
  • 35 cm (about 13 3/4″) wide
  • 16 cm (about 6 1/4″) deep

They are incredibly strict about this size restriction. At Belfast, the security people had wooden sizing boxes into which you were asked to place your carry-on item. Their internal dimensions were the same as the maxima listed above; if your carry-on item didn’t fit, they would ask you to remove some items from it (if it was a pliable bag) or check it (if it was something rigid, such as a box).

There were no restrictions on electronics; they had no problem with my having a laptop, spare battery, digital camera and iPod.

Everyone Gets Searched at the Gate

Here’s one thing they don’t tell you: boarding will take much longer than usual because in addition to showing your ID and boarding pass, you have to consent to a search. Remember, this is after you’ve passed through the metal detector and X-ray and gone to the departure lounge.

As rows were called to board the plane, everybody had to go to one of three security stations set in front of the jetway. A security person would ask you to empty your pockets and place the items on a table. If you had a carry-on bag, it would be very thoroughly searched by hand.

Next comes the personal search. I haven’t been frisked so throughly since my check-up at the doctor’s last month. The security guy did a full police-style pat-down search, including checking under the collar and the waistband of my jeans. You’ll also be asked to take off your shoes for inspection.

Continental’s international 757-200s (unfortunately, they use narrow-body jets for second-tier international flight) seat 156 in cattle class and 16 in Hermes tie class. With this many people being searched three at a time, the boarding call started a little over an hour before the scheduled departure. I strongly recommend that you make an allowance for the delay involved with this search.

Pens Will Be Confiscated

Another thing they don’t tell you — in fact, they don’t tell you until the search at the gate: they won’t let you bring a pen onto the plane. I only lost a ball-point pen which I’m pretty sure came from Tucows’ office supply closet. Others were less fortunate; in the bin where confiscated pens were being collected, I saw a at least a dozen “executive” pens, including Crosses and Mont Blancs. If you’re accustomed to carrying an expensive pen, do not take it with you!

Without pens, we had nothing with which to fill out the immigrations and customs forms required for international flights arriving at their first port of entry to the United States. We ended up — all 172 of us — sharing the chief flight attendant’s pen, passing it from row to row.

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Uncategorized

I’m Entitled to a "Snakes on a Plane" Joke

I haven’t gone overboard with the Snakes on a Plane jokes, so I think I’ll post this one…

Poster: 'The Snakes in Spain Stay Mainly on the Plane!'

Categories
Geek Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

I’ll be at the php|works / db|works Conference, September 13th – 15th

php|works / db|works conference logos.

The php | works / db | works conference takes place in Toronto from Wednesday, September 13th through Friday, September 15th. I’ll be attending, taking my traditional copious notes and taking accordion requests.

Click here for a complete schedule and synopses of the sessions.

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In the News

A Little Something to Restore Your Faith in Humanity

Over at The Toronto Star, they’re running a collection of reader-submitted stories about little kind acts that local have done for their fellow human beings.

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Uncategorized

Build Your Own Sesame Street "Yup Yup" Aliens

Even now, the Sesame Street skit shown below (click to view the skit) is one of my all-time favourites:

'Yup yup aliens' sketch from 'Sesame Street'.
The “Yup Yup” aliens meet a phone. Click to see the video.

“Mr. Neutron” has posted a photo-how-to showing you how to make your own “Yup Yup” aliens for your own backyard puppet shows. Keep it handy for the next time you’re itching to do a little arts and crafts work:

Mr. Neutron's guide to making your own 'Sesame Street' 'Yup Yup' aliens.

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Uncategorized

Vote Robot Nixon! [Updated]

As long as I’m on the topic of recontextualized images of U.S. presidents, here’s a “Vote Robot Nixon” poster courtesy of strk3:

'Vote Robot Nixon' poster.

It turns out that you can buy the poster!

(If the “Robot Nixon” reference flew over your head, it’s from this episode of Futurama.)

Categories
In the News

George W. Bush is Our New Favourite Pitchman

George W. Bush’s Face Rides Again!

Hot on the heels of simplyaudiobooks.ca’s billboard featuring a picture of George W. Bush beside the headline Don’t Read Enough?…

'Don't Read Enough?' billboard featuring photo George W. Bush.
Photo by Hamish Grant.

…comes another ad disparaging the Shrub’s cognitive capabilities — Yale Shmale:

Lakehead University's 'Yale Shmale' logo.

Where the Campaign Hits

Playing on Bush’s perceived mental midgetry — for which there is ample evidence — is like shooting fish in a barrel as far as the university-bound crowd goes.

“Graduating from an Ivy League university doesn’t necessarily mean you’re smart,” reads the copy on the site whose message is that going to a prestigious university is no guarantee that you’re going to come out as a brilliant person. And on that part, they’re right: despite having gone to the character-building Yale for his undergrad, he somehow ended up becoming a boozehound and cokehead. As for his much-vaunted degree from Harvard Business School, there’s the matter of investors in his businesses losing 55 cents for every dollar they invested in him; in fact, his businesses were so lossy that they made pretty good tax shelters. Bush’s major business success — the Arlington Ballpark, home of the Texas Rangers — was largely tax-subsidized.

Where the Campaign Misses

What diminishes the Yale Shmale site’s impact is the set of promotions at the bottom of the page. One is a contest for a Smart Car, the other is for a PlayStation Portable. It makes the place appear second- or third-rate, and given how much smaller the differential in tuitions between the least and most prestigious schools in Canada is, it seems cheap. A promo like this is suitable for a jeans store, not a university. I’m reminded of the college that Mallory, the dumb sister from the 1980s sitcom Family Ties went to; if you enrolled, you were entitled to a “nice thick juicy steak cooked just the way you like it.”


Come November 2008, Bush could make a decent living as a self-deprecating product pitchman. At least it’s an honest living.