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Toronto International Film Festival 2002. Thursday, September 5th through Saturday, September 14th. For more details, see this entry.

Slap and Tickle present a comedy night called Slap vs. Tickle: The Hammerin’ at the Cameron. Tuesday, September 10th at the Cameron House (408 Queen Street West, 1 block west of Spadina). The Slap and Tickle troupe headline, other comedy acts include Fraser Young, Alan Park, Laurie Elliot and some guy named Smokin’ Joe deVilla telling a few funny stories and playing the accordion. I swear — I did not make up that name; they gave it to me.

Trailer Trash Wednesday. Wednesday, September 11th at the Bovine Sex Club (542 Queen Street West). Featuring Trailer Trash Bongo with Beever and Trixie.

18th Annual Vegetarian Food Fair. Friday, September 13th through Sunday. September 15th at Harbourfront Centre (235 Queen’s Quay West). Perhaps we should have a betting pool on whether my housemate Paul will attend this one; what with his new approach to food, who knows? I’d attend, but I know I’d kicked out after the first smart-ass remark: “So this is a festival devoted exclusively to side dishes, eh?”

My housemate Paul’s birthday is on Friday, September 13th.

416 Graf Expo. Friday, September 14th and Saturday, September 15th at the parking lot at Queen and Portland. This is the Toronto’s seventh annual graffiti expo.

Kick Ass Karaoke. Wednesday, September 18th at the Bovine Sex Club (542 Queen Street West).

The Harvest Festival. Saturday, September 21st and Sunday, September 22nd at #4978 6th Line. An outdoor electronic music festival (it would’ve been called a rave last decade). From the flyer:

Each autumn equinox, this year under the full moon, we come together to enjoy our favourite DJs/performers, art installations, locally-grown organic foods, awesome camping and a massive bonfire. Come early and explore. There will be an equinox celebration at sundown.

There’ll be five areas – the rustic BARN with multi-levelled dancin’ and chillin’, infamous PYRAMID, a newly-added sound system in the DRIVE SHED, tasty garden treats and holistic treatments by KIND KITCHEN and C.A.L.M. and the massive BONFIRE, lit at the stroke of MIDNIGHT.

If you’re into Burning Man or the more local Om Festival, you’ll like this one. I’m considering going.

My friend Karin’s birthday is on Thursday, September 26th. Expect mayhem on College Street West that evening.

The Word on the Street Magazine and Book Fair. Sunday, September 29, 2002 on Queen Street West between John and Spadina.

My comments system is still spotty. I think it’s time to roll my own.

In the meantime, why don’t you check out the discussion on BoingBoing, where Cory pointed to my Reclaim the Streets piece?

The start of September marks the return of the Toronto International Film Festival, a ten-day period in which the stars hang out in Accordion City even more than they normally do and the movie-going public gets a chance to see a great selection of films, especially those you won’t see at your suburban megaplex. For those of you planning to attend, or those of you who can’t make it and are just curious, here are some links:

• The Toronto International Film Festival’s official site
• eye magazine’s Film Festival movie reviews
• The Globe and Mail’s Film Festival coverage
• The National Post’s Film Festival coverage
• NOW magazine’s Film Festival guide
• The Toronto Star’s Film Festival coverage

Many of the movies I want to see run more than once, and these movies usually have a matinee showing in the middle of the day, which should mean that at-the-door tickets should still be available (I’m assuming that the larger part of the attendees will be on a 9-to-5 schedule). Local pals, drop me a line if there are any movies you’d like to see — maybe we can make it a group thing.

Just a quick note for my Jewish friends and readers: have a sweet and happy new year!

(…and for those who don’t know, Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year, begins tonight at 6 p.m. and runs through till Sunday. It’ll be the year 5763 in the Jewish calendar.)

Here are some other classic weblog entries that had gone missing, but have been recovered thanks to my archives:

Death to Disney, part 1 and Death to Disney, part 2. December 2000. Rants on copyright and fair use.

Sayonara 2001. December 31st, 2001. What a crappy year.

Sacked. January 2002: Getting fired from OpenCola.

One helluva Saturday night. January 2002: A lovely evening with many stories.

Snow job, part 1 and Snow job, part 2. February 2002: Tales of my days selling sno-cones on the street in Toronto.

Tina’s Birthday. April 2002. Actually, the text for this entry was not lost, but the photos were. I’ve since put them back up.

Now it can be told May 2002. Had a date, got a job.

According to Webalizer, here are the top twenty search phrases that have led to kode-fu.com:

1. vb string functions

2. string functions vb

3. string functions in vb

4. vb data types

5. vb math functions

6. c# string functions

7. accordian

8. annalee newitz

9. accordion guy

10. mash-ups

11. stagette (for which I still have the #1 Google entry!)

12. vba string functions

13. female pipe smoker

14. rosetta stone

15. string compare in vb

16. vb string conversion

17. c# math functions

18. funny czech phrases

19. how to play accordian

20. joey devilla

Once again, as a public service announcement: the word is spelled accordiOn, not accordiAn.

Just in case you thought only “The Left” were masters of ham-fisted witless diatribes attempting to pass for humour, may I present The Leftersons (“America’s favorite liberal family!”). The Leftersons are a nuclear family of sorts — there’s an unnamed Mom and Dad, a daughter named Hillary, and a son named Stalin (Leftersons cartoonist Colin Hayes is probably still slapping his knee over that witty little gem). There’s also a goldfish who plays the double role of being the only sensible (read: extremely conservative) member of the family and Greek chorus as well as Stalin’s pal Tommy, a sensible (read: extremely conservative) African-American (well, Stalin calls him “African-American”, to which he replies “You mean black?”) whose role models include Clarence Thomas, Thomas Sowell and Dr. Tony Evans.

Hayes’ line-drawing style is pretty good, and he owes it to the fact that he’s been drawing since the age of four. The problem is that it looks as though his writing style is stuck at that age, as he goes straight for “Liberals are stoopid, just ’cause” angle rather than spelling out his case. Sir, I’ve read lots of P.J. O’Rourke, and you’re no P.J. O’Rourke.

Here’s a quick tour of some Leftersons strips:

• The obligatory “Liberals live for higher taxes” piece
• The obligatory “Liberals want to deny you your God-given right to bear arms” piece
• The obligatory “the NEA is all about the perverted arts” piece
• The obligatory “alternative fuel cars are for suckers” piece
• The obligatory 9/11 reference
• The obligatory July 4th piece
• The obligatory “Down with the U.N.” piece
• The obligatory “get off your lazy asses, you whiny liberals” piece
• The obligatory John Walker Lindh piece

If you really must read this nonsense, you can check cruise on down to the archive. Please remember that going there is your choice, and I take no responsibility for what happens afterwards.

The Adventures of Accordionguy in the 21st Century: reading crap so you don’t have to.