Categories
It Happened to Me

Forgot to Get Schmutzed

Photo: Shrek billboard above a a church banner reading 'He Is Risen'.

Best. Sign placement. Ever.

I just read this in Deenster’s blog:

is it just me, or did every one seem to walk around with a bit of schmutz on their forehead?

Oh, crap. I knew I forgot to do something today.

(Note 1: Hey, Wendy! I didn’t have to look up “schmutz”!)

(Note 2: I wonder if Adina spent half her time in India going up to people and

saying: “Excuse me, I thought you should know that you have a bit of

pimento on your forehead.”)

I’ll bet this guy remembered:

Photo: Hairy dude wearing a speedo and a big honkin' crucifix medallion.

Get this man a waxing and some low-carb communion, stat!

Categories
It Happened to Me

Your Valentine’s Day Warning

Photo: Me and Wendy.

T minus three days!

A scene from last Thursday at the charity event during which I enjoyed more than my fair share of drinks:

Her: So, Accordion Boy, do you and your fiancee have plans for Valentine’s?

Me: Yeah, she’s flying up here Friday evening, and I’m taking her out to Crush for dinner on Saturday.

Her: [Her boyfriend] is soooooo dead! Just one time a year — One! Time! A! Year! — I would just like him to do something romantic

[approximately five minutes of her ranting and my silent nodding deleted for brevity]

Learn from this, attached gentlemen. Stay out of the doghouse and make reservations while there’s still time.

As for you unattached local guys, she’s pretty and might be available soon…

Categories
It Happened to Me

Free to Good Homes [Updated]

I’ve been sorting through my technology trunk and found a couple of

goodies for which I have no use.Drop me a line if you’re interested:

  • 128 MB PC2100 DDR RAM (from my PowerBook 12″ 867Mhz — I replaced it with a 512 MB stick) Claimed!
  • Mad Catz DVD Remote control and receiver for the original

    PlayStation 2. It was given to me for Christmas, but it doesn’t fit the

    new, slim-profile PS2. It looks like the remote control in the Mad Catz PS2 Starter Kit. Claimed!

I

assume that they’re in working order (the RAM should be — it’s never

been used, outside of some possible QA testing at Apple).

Categories
It Happened to Me

At the Point of No Return

Last night at dinner at a Chinese restaurant:

Dad: Joey, your mother bought the dress she’s going to wear to your wedding. Now you REALLY have to get married.

Categories
It Happened to Me

Anyone Remember this TV Series?

Photo: The cast and vehicles of ARK II

Burning Man, here we come!” Click the photo to see a site associated with this TV show.

Categories
It Happened to Me

Untitled

I’ve just come back from an evening out with my coworkers Darryl,

Andrew and Sandra, buzzed off a fair number of Crown-Royal-and-Cokes,

dark beers, and getting invited by the band to join them onstange in a

performance of Steepenwolf’s Born to be Wild.

I’m drunk, but far too amped to fall asleep just yet, so here is the

Accordion Guy Eightfold Noble Path to Living Well (with apologies to Siddhartha Gautama for stealing his schtick):

  • Snile broadly
  • Laugh lustily
  • Eat sensibly
  • Exercise regularly
  • Code completely (a tip of the hat to Steve McConnell)
  • Party heartily
  • Learn constantly
  • Give generously
  • Love unconditionally
  • Make sure your last words aren’t “Hey, everybody — watch this!”

Well, that’s enough intoxipontification. Now, to bed.

Categories
It Happened to Me

If I Know You, I Probably Owe You a Phone Call

I’ve taken on some ambitious work and career-building projects (as well

as the ambitious project of getting married), so my time’s been at a

premium and I owe a number of people phone calls, emails, appearances

at their fabulous karaoke shows and the like. I promise I’ll get back to you folks soon.