Author: Joey deVilla

“Crazy Go Nuts University” – yes, I lifted the name from the”Strong Bad” web cartoons – is my pet name for my beloved alma mater, Queen’s University. Crazy Go Nuts University is part of what is informally referred to as “Canada’s Ivy League” and is one of the top three universities in Canada (the criteria for which are marks required for admission and lowest acceptance rates; the other two are McGill and University of Toronto). I had a wonderful – if extended and Van Wilder-esque – time there, as many witnesses will attest.

Queen’s has been making the news lately, and none of it is good. First, there’s the matter of Homecoming being cancelled for the next two years.

Then, there are the Conversation Cops.

They’re not really called “conversation cops”: officially, they’re student facilitators, and their job is to “step in when they overhear homophobic slurs, remarks bashing women or racially tinged insults, along with an array of other language that could be deemed offensive.”

Here’s a sampling, courtesy of The Globe and Mail, of the sort of offences that could warrant a conversation cop’s attention:

• If a student uses the phrase "That’s so gay" in conversation.
• If a student calls someone or something "retarded."
• If a student writes a homophobic, racist or other derogatory remark in a public space, such as on a residence poster or classmate’s door.
• If a student avoids a classmate’s birthday party for faith-based reasons.

(I have no idea what is meant in the last example. Who knew birthday parties were such a source of contention?)

I understand and appreciate the good intentions behind this initiative. As someone who’s taken his racially-motivated lumps on campus, including a sucker-punching at a campus pub at the start of second year, I know what it’s like to be on the business end of harsh and unfair discrimination.

I have no problem with calling out a bigot who’s running off at the mouth. I have no problem with “frown power” – a term coined by Stetson Kennedy referring to societal pressure to curb bigotry. These actions, which were performed on a personal level, have brought about change for the better.

I have a problem when it’s being done by people paid by the University (it’s not clear from the story whether the school administration or the student council is footing the bill) to butt into overheard conversations to enforce speech codes. It smacks of the “political officers” of North Korea or the former Soviet Union or of members of Cuba’s “Committees for the Defense of the Revolution”, no matter how honourable the intent. I’m certain that these same people would find the restrictions on student behaviour at places like Bob Jones University laughable (and in that instance, they’d be right).

The conversation cops are going to have the worst job on campus. They have no authority backing them up, so their interventions are likely to be ignored, met with a classic two-word response or in extreme cases, responded to with an ass-kicking. Being a paid buzzkill isn’t going to do anything good for their social lives, either. Worst of all, they’ll find that their actions will not have the intended effect.

As odd as I find it to be in agreement with the baton-twirlers in the parade of losers that is our local neoconservative blogosphere, I have to say that Queen’s University’s hiring of conversation cops is a bad idea. As an alumnus, I’m going to make my opinion of them known when they come a-calling for their annual donation.

In the 2000 British comedy film Kevin and Perry Go Large, the antagonist is one “DJ Eyeball Paul”, who does vodka shots via his eye in order to get the alcoholic buzz as quickly as possible. I remember laughing at this gag when I saw the movie, but never thought people would actually try it.

Apparently, they are. According to a report in the Brit tabloid Metro, students have been tipping vodka into their eyes.

“Relax,” you might say, “it’s a tabloid. The story’s probably fake.”

A quick search on YouTube proves that this is not the case; I got over 500 results using the search term “eye vodka”, and a quick perusal of the results pages confirms that most of them feature people actually doing eye vodka shots. Here’s one:

Keep in mind these videos feature only those people who chose to record their eye vodka hijinks and then post them to YouTube. I have no doubt that there are many more eye vodka shot incidents that go mercifully undocumented.

I have no idea how those kids do it. I don’t even like taking eye drops.

[This article also appears on my tech blog, Global Nerdy.]

NewTeeVee reports it, and I’m repeating it here: Monty Python now has its own official YouTube channel. Cue the sound of comedy fans – especially geeks, who love the troupe so much that there’s a programming language named for them – rejoicing!

Here’s their very enlightened response to all those YouTubers uploading their videos for the past three years:

For 3 years you YouTubers have been ripping us off, taking tens of thousands of our videos and putting them on YouTube. Now the tables are turned. It’s time for us to take matters into our own hands.

We know who you are, we know where you live and we could come after you in ways too horrible to tell. But being the extraordinarily nice chaps we are, we’ve figured a better way to get our own back: We’ve launched our own Monty Python channel on YouTube.

No more of those crap quality videos you’ve been posting. We’re giving you the real thing – HQ videos delivered straight from our vault.

What’s more, we’re taking our most viewed clips and uploading brand new HQ versions. And what’s even more, we’re letting you see absolutely everything for free. So there!

Of course, they want something in return:

But we want something in return.

None of your driveling, mindless comments. Instead, we want you to click on the links, buy our movies & TV shows and soften our pain and disgust at being ripped off all these years.

There are currently 24 videos on the Monty Python YouTube channel, and they’ve given the impression that more will be posted. Most of these videos are some of their most popular clips; a couple are interviews with the Pythons. Here’s one with Eric Idle talking about what it was like to write with other members of the troupe:

…and here’s one with John Cleese on Monty Python and music:

Enjoy! (And try to get some work done today, willya?)

I’ll close with the official YouTube editions of a couple of clicks that were favourites of both me and my Dad, proving that I am indeed my father’s son. Both are from Life of Brian.

First, there’s the “Biggus Dickus” scene:

And now, the “Stoning” scene:

Here’s an informative and entertaining video about Japan’s food system. It’s in Japanese with English subtitles and cover the issue of food production in Japan.

Japan produces only 40% of the food it consumes and imports the other 60%, a ratio that is the lowest among developed nations. This is due to the change in the Japanese diet, which has gone from rice, fish and vegetables to what the video refers to as “meat, fat and oil”.

The video proposes very Japanese solutions: going back to more a more traditional Japanese diet, favouring food produced in Japan and for farmers to be more efficient.

The video’s animation style (slightly abstract, isometric-projection-ish and constantly changing zoom levels) and “J-pop” music kept reminding me of the Katamari Damacy series of videogames. I kept expecting to see a katamari roll over the scenery.

For comparison’s sake, here’s some video of the “Sumo Wrestler” level of We Love Katamari, in which you have to roll a sumo wrestler over food items to make him reach a certain weight class before the time runs out:

I’ve posted a couple of articles that non-programmers might enjoy on my tech blog, Global Nerdy:

• The Star Wars Storybook: scans from a 1979 storybook featuring a condensed adaptation of Episode IV: A New Hope and MP3s of the accompanying vinyl record.
• The Star Trek Movie’s Second Trailer: Yes, there’s a new trailer, featuring a scene in which a young James Tiberius Kirk recreates the “chicken run” stunt from Rebel Without a Cause.
• Steve Jobs Giving Big Blue the One-Finger Salute: An amusing photo of an eighties-era Steve Jobs and a quick overview of the seemingly-always-torrid relationship between Apple and IBM.