She’s Just Not That Into You, Greg

Photo: 'She's Just Not That Into You' -- a Photoshopped version of the cover of 'He's Just Not That Into You'.

A slightly modified version of the actual book cover.

I suspect that there are the fortunate few for whom dating never was an ego-crushing experience; they may have had bad dates or bad relationships, but they have the perfect combination of looks, charm and plain old luck to have been spared. The rest of us — that includes me — have to deal with rejection.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (quit rolling your eyes, I’m trying to make a point here) introduced the “Kobayashi Maru” test, a starship simulation in which a Starfleet cadet is put into a  situation considered to be a “no-win scenario”.

The simulation is meant to be a test of the cadet’s discipline, character, and command capabilities when faced with great adversity. “How we face death,” as Admiral Kirk put it, “shows how we face life.”

Getting rejected in dating provides all the character testing of the Kobayashi Maru scenario without the military service — or William Shatner’s acting.

There are many ways to get rejected, but one of the worst has to be when they simply don’t return your calls. Many rejectors take this take because it spares them the awkwardness of having to be “the bad guy”, but the rejectee is left hanging with an “unresolved” feeling.

In my opinion, the correct way to handle such a scenario is to leave a single message along the lines of “I’d appreciate it if you would call me back” and leave it at that. There are many wrong ways, and this set of messages left by a guy named Greg [1.7 MB MP3, included as an enclosure for you Podcast listeners] is a prime example.

I don’t know either party in the recording; I just stumbled across the file. The first girl I ever asked out stopped returning my calls after a while and I think I responded in the same way that Greg did, but hey — I was 15. Greg sounds old enough to know better.

7 replies on “She’s Just Not That Into You, Greg”

Greg sounds old enough to know better?

Greg sounds drunk! Still, you can’t beat the phone message scene in Swingers

I always figured, if a girl gave me a phone number that actually connected to someplace where she lived, or at least where someone recognized her name, at least I wasn’t batting absolute zero.

(The old give-the-guy-a-fake-number routine. Yessiree, guys’ egos always enjoy that one.)

— Bruce A.

Even if she was mildly interested and he had a glimmer of hope of “getting with her” he just shot that down in flames! How desperate does one have to be to leave something like this on a machine?!

Ooh scary! It amazes me that there are guys out there that think telling you they actually don’t give a shit about you is a great way to chat you up. “Hey honey, you’re not all that, but I am!” That’s as lame as “Oh, I like your sweater!”.

I have to admire the ego… Worst thing is, he actually sounds like he still has some hope the girl will eventually call him back.

Wow. I was shocked to hear that laugh near the end

…sounded like a teen or a tween 2me. And yet this

guy is leaving messages like THAT? Holy Cow

what a steep steep STEEP learning curve this

guy is on…dont stray too far from your own age

and secondly if the girl dont call the message is

clear…please already have a life if not : get one

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