Ladies and gentlemen, drop your borders
When the provisional Ohio votes are counted and if George W.
Bush is re-elected, single, sexy, American liberals – already
a threatened species – will be desperate to escape.
These lonely, afraid (did we mention really hot?) progressives will need
a safe haven.
You can help. Open your heart, and your home. Marry an American.
Legions of Canadians have already pledged to sacrifice their
singlehood to save our southern neighbours from four more years
of cowboy conservatism.
Be sure to read the personal profiles. They’re amusing:
Name: I*heart*trees1985 Age: 21 Gender: Female Occupation: Full-time liberal arts major / part-time tree
Location: Beautiful British Columbia Hot for: Mountain Equipment Co-op, vegan potlucks, mother earth
(gaia), feminist collectives, dreadlocks.
Political orientation: Card carrying member of the GREEN PARTY! Yay! Not
literally… I lost it at a phish concert.
What I’m looking for: Someone to save the trees with me. A boy named Chad, Conner,
Why get to know me: I do a wicked Joni Mitchell impersonation and don’t shave my
Name: hot4classwar Age: 26 Gender: Male Occupation: Grad Student Location: Montreal Hot for: Karl Marx, Wade Davis, poutine Political orientation: autonomous anarchist What I’m looking for: A hot American brother to join in the struggle against imperialism and corporate globalization. Why get to know me: Together,
we will work together to prepare the seeds of the revolution that will
reclaim your poor nation, seizing the means of production from the
Like I said, I’ve already got that covered.