It Happened to Me


(Warning: Bathroom humour ahead.)

Our band’s rehearsal space — kindly loaned to us by Jerry Rabba, whose family owns and runs the Rabba

chain of 24-hour convenience stores — is a small building, more

cottage than house, located in Mississauga, the next city west of Accordion City. Its plumbing is disconnected, so we make use of the bathroom at the Starbucks next door.

Unfortunately, Starbucks closes at 11 p.m., and our recording session

on Sunday was stretching late into the night. Luckily, we’re all boys

in the band (so far — we’re looking for a bass player, and for

variety, we’d like a female one) and are thus equipped to relieve

ourselves in the woods out back. The -20 degree C (-4 degrees F)

temperatures make it uncomfortable, but at least it’s possible.

At the end of the session, Pete and I went outside to do our business.

From the distance, Pete yelled “I’m writing my name in the snow!” Not

having engaged in this fun activity in years, I decided to do the same.

In fact, I tried to do one better; having drunk a venti (Starbucks-ese

for “extra large”) hot chocolate only an hour earlier, I figured that I

had enough “ink” to write something more than just a simple “Joey”. I

thought I’d try “Joey + Wendy” (yes, that’s The Redhead’s

real name). It’s not as romantic as carving our initials in a tree, but

I’m the resourceful type who likes to improvise using the materials at


I think I need to come up with a simple nickname for her, at least for

peeing purposes. The “E” and “Y” in Joey have plenty of strokes, and

Wendy’s “W” and “E” also demand a considerable amount of urine (not

mention a fair bit of hip dexterity) to spell out. I was barely able to

get half of “D” before I finished.

Maybe I should’ve had a Super Big Gulp.

I would have taken a picture, but my camera’s battery was as out of

juice as I was. I’m sure some of you consider this a fortunate turn of


Most women would fail to see the romance and humour in this gesture;

luckily for me, The Redhead is not most women. I told her about this

last night over the phone, and she responded with unstoppable laughter

for over a minute.

I’ll take that as a “thank you”.

12 replies on “Urinefatuated”

And…damn right I’m not most women. 😉 Romantic gestures come in many shapes and sizes…and scents. Hehehehehehe…

Having known The Redhead for many years, and already owning a pee story of my own with her(we promised we wouldn’t talk about it, oh well), I can tell you with sincere conviction that yes, she’s not most women.

Laughing her head off is exactly what I would have expected from the dear Redhead.

I should clarify: it’s not a gross pee story, but it sure as hell isn’t as romantic as yours.

Oh boy. Did he laugh as much as other people do when we recant that unrecantable story?

It is funny.

Now, of course, everyone else is going to want to hear about it.

Oh boy. Did he laugh as much as other people do when we recant that unrecantable story?

It is funny.

Now, of course, everyone else is going to want to hear about it.

Yeah, he laughed pretty hard at the end. It’s yours to tell, of course, Mr. Anonymous I-Know-Who-You-Are Blogger Man. 🙂

1. e is easier spelled not capitalised, no strokes, just a flowing curve

2. my friend once pissed his name on a wall, at head level – i know it wasn’t sanitary, but hell impressive it was

3. tim horton’s has this amazing 6-standard-portion mug, the size of a giant’s thimble. they have them hanging in every horton joint. having not haven’t lived in canada for long, i wondered at bladder capacities and coffeine intake of Canadian’s, before I find out that coffee drinking from this thimble is meant to be a cooperative endeavour.

power to you.

I think I know of one Canadian female bass player with some band experience

who may be available.

But I can’t begin to imagine what kind of bladder or hip control would be required to spell Melissa Auf der Maur in the snow…

My sister ‘Joi Raida’ plays bass (among other instruments), and she’s supposed to teach me some guitar once I go to Steve’s to pick one up.

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