The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century

Well, tomorrow’s the big night — the second annual bowling tournament where Atlanta-area Furries take on Atlanta-area Klingons takes place at Midtown Bowl (1936 Piedmont Cir NE, Atlanta, Georgia). A hearty Qa’pla! and Meow! to all who are attending!

Someone set up a poll at Poll Boutique where you can vote for your favourite team. As of this writing, the Furries and Klingons are dead even, each with 50% of the vote.

In honour of this weekend’s event, I would like to share the most appropriate music in my collection for this event: the ever-lovin’
Star Trek Fight Music [1.8MB MP3]. Enjoy!

An article in today’s Toronto Star covering a the author of Girl Politics: Friends, Cliques and Really Mean Chicks, from the Zonderkidz branch of Christian publisher Zondervan, gave some advice about mean girls, including this gem:

Q: Using the Bible as a guide to deal with really mean chicks, isn’t that a stretch?

A: Not at all. The Bible is a marvellous tool for dealing with relationships. Jesus was constantly bullied by the Pharisees, who were basically a clique.

I will never look at the Pharisees in the same way again. From now on, I’m going to picture them as hot schoolgirls, saying things like:

• “Jedediah, all that milk and honey will go straight to your thighs. It’s all carbs!”
• “I’m having a party tonight and you are soooo not invited, Obadiah.”
• “Zachariah, why are you being such a beeyotch?”

The prize is bragging rights, the topic is Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, and here’s the photo:

Mitt, mit fudge!

Context, as they say on scans_daily, is for the weak.

Make your caption suggestions in the comments. Have fun!

Mandatory Mitt Romney Joke

How is it, that out of all the viable Republican candidates, it’s the Mormon who’s had only one wife?

Since I married an American and travel to the States fairly often either for business or to see family and in-laws, people often ask me if I have any difficulty with U.S. Customs since I cross the border so often.

The truth is that I usually breeze through customs. Part of it is that my wife is American; the other part is that I know how to act so as not to arouse Homeland Security’s hair-trigger suspicions. Simply put, I know how to fit in.

The woodcutting below, while not a literal depiction, should give you a reasonably accurate idea of Wendy and me going through Customs at the airport:

“Do you think they’ll let us into prom, bear?”

“Sure they will. Rarr rar rar, lookit me, I live in a subdivision! Rar rarrr rarr rar I’m an Amerrrrrrican.”

[This was cross-posted to Global Nerdy.]

Say hello — and probably goodbye — to my friend, Globe and Mail writer Jeff Gray, with whom I worked at the Queen’s Journal (a.k.a. “The Urinal”), the official student paper of Crazy Go Nuts University. He BikeBerries — that is, uses his BlackBerry while bicycling:

As a columnist who has suggested that cyclists should wear helmets, and shouldn’t use iPods in downtown traffic, I can’t very well come out in favour of using cellphones and BlackBerrys on the roads. Of course you shouldn’t. And it seems that sensible people have figured this out.

Still, gliding on your bike on a little side street, with no one coming, typing “ok” and pressing send? No harm done.

Dude, it’s even easier to pull over when you’re on a bike. Just do it, or else I’m posting those photos from the Journal staff party. You know, the “tongue” ones.

“Wooooo…I am the Holy Spirit! What you are doing is a SIN!”

“Nonsense — masturbation is healthy and natural.”

“No, I meant strangling hookers.”

“Oh, right. That.”

[Image courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.]

Update: Some quick notes…

• I didn’t compile or make these images; I found ’em, thought they were neat and posted them for everyone to see.
• You can find more images like this at Actualidad Simpson.

…gets referenced in a couple of Simpsons episodes…