This one’s for all the math nerds…
Picture courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.
Update: Matthew points out that Toothpaste for Dinner did a cartoon of this back in March:
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Chris Christ, Heavenly Gangsta
I’d have paid more attention in Sunday School if you’d presented it like this! You will have to use your common sense to gauge as to whether you’d be offended by a video of a gangsta-rappin’ Jesus:
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“Hey, Joey, Wanna Do a Review?”
Just got this email:
I wanted to know if by any chance you would be interested in doing an unbiased review of one of our products.
If you agree we will send you a product sample so that you can try it and then write a review about it. Please note you won’t have to return the product sample after publishing the review.
The product in question? Peloop:
These 3 materials will constantly provide your penis with amazing benefits. peloop™ is simply worn at the bottom of your penis just like you wear a ring on your finger. It’s penis enhancement and penis enlargement made simple.
These materials work by drastically improving the condition of blood inside your penis. Your penis health is as good as the blood health inside it. If you have unhealthy blood in your penis, you will have a weak unhealthy penis BUT if you have healthy blood in your penis, you will have a big, strong and healthy penis. It’s that simple. Please continue reading to fully understand how peloop works for male enhancement.
My favourite bit: the addendum at the bottom of the page that says “NOTE: JUNE 2007, NEW IMPROVED ADJUSTABLE PELOOP.” If I’m going to be strapping something on the Magnificent Pork Sword, it had damn well better be adjustable.
So, dear readers, what do you think? Do the review and get a free peloop, or pass and not have my in-laws (who read this blog) give me the “what the hell is wrong with you?” look forever?
19 years ago today, “Tank Man” (a.k.a. “The Unknown Rebel”, or as I prefer to call him, “Iron Balls McGinty”) faced down four tanks during the Tienanmen Square Massacre. Little is known about this man aside from the fact that he must clank when he walks.
I salute you with a filet mignon on a flaming sword, sir!
[This article was also posted on Global Nerdy.]
Scenes from the Valley’s El Camino Real (left) and Seattle’s Pioneer Square (right).
Here’s some food for thought. Ahmed Hassan very recently wrote a comment in response to an article of mine, Ideas to Steal from Silicon Valley and Seattle, and it’s worth promoting to its own article, so here it is.
Being from Toronto and having worked in both Toronto, Ottawa, and the US, I think Toronto has severe challenges.
1. We build workers…not leaders.
We have loads of talent…but all we create is good worker bees.
2. Yes, lack of big companies is a big deal.
There are some ‘entrepreneurs’ who will just go at it on their own. yet, the vast majority of people like a decent job. So they meet up at large companies…work for a while…then maybe decide to start their own thing. All we have in Toronto proper is IBM and AMD. Anyone care to explain how RIM was founded in Waterloo. I ask that as a serious question. How does a small town create the only great Canadian tech company in operation right now? Why was it not founded in Toronto? Ask that question a few times…over and over.
3. Politicians do not understand business.
When you have someone like Miller who says he doesn’t care about companies who move to Mississauga for lower tax rates as he only wants companies who are willing to pay more to take advantage of Toronto’s urban character… you know something is wrong. They will try to push venture capital and ‘incubators…’.
As I say…mentality before process.
4. Sometimes you run out of talent.
How many high tech centers do we need? Everywhere you go, there is a lack of talent. If Toronto tech can just pickup and move to Seattle, Silicon valley, New york, boston, dallas, austin… in an already established tech base, why would they bother doing it here? Better weather, lower taxes, more like-minded entrepreneurs.
It’s not impossible. But Toronto has its work cut out for it. The biggest threat to Toronto…is actually Waterloo. Very close to Toronto and with a large tech base. It’s largely a mentality gap. Toronto embraces bureaucracy and structure. Startups are about freedom and independence. If you will…that’s why RIM was founded in Waterloo as opposed to Toronto. No Toronto bureaucracy would have ever approved of RIM. I mean they would be competing against Motorola, Nokia, MS… impossible…that’s a bad investment.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments!
Here’s a real gem: one of my heroes, Bruce Lee, being interviewed by Canadian television personality, journalist and author Pierre Berton in December 1971. It was Lee’s one and only TV interview. Bruce is great in this interview: he’s got some interesting stories to tell, and he does so with the confidence, charisma and focus that were his stock in trade.
One of the interesting things about the interview is that certain terms they brought up in conversation — kung fu and tai chi — are common terms in North America today, but completely foreign back in 1971.
When asked which Hollywood stars were his best students, he named two: Steve McQueen (“That son of a gun got the toughness in him!” says Bruce in the interview) as the one who best understood the fighting aspects of kung fu, and James Coburn (in the interview, Bruce describes him as “A peace-loving man…really nice, super mellow”) as the one who best grasped the philosophy of kung fu. He also taught Roman Polanski; I always thought that a Lee/Polanski kung fu lesson would make a great comedy skit.
The video is just under 25 minutes long, but it’s well worth watching.
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Music Video of the Day: “New Math”
Here’s Bo Burnham singing his nerd-folk/filk song, New Math:
In case you were wondering what the lyrics were, here they are:
What’s a pirate minus the ship? Just a creative homeless guy
And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die
And what’s domain, domain, range (x, x, y) — a kid with too much in his pants
and two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de france.Split a decision with long division,
Take the circumference of your circumcision
Live like your data and when you’re all “set”
Put it all together and whatever you get…Is new math
What’s a bag of chips divided by five? That’s a Nike worker’s meal
And Santa Claus mutliplied by i? Well, I guess that makes him real
And the square root of the NBA is Africa in a box
How do you trace a scatter plot? Give the pencil to Michael J. FoxTake the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion
Live like your data, and when you’re all “set”
Put it all together and whatever you get…Is new math
And if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me you’d have a tree
…full of Asian porn.
C-A-L-C-U-LATOR (see you later) mathematical minds make industrial smog
and whats the opposite of ln(x): Duraflame, the unnatural logSupport the farmers with a pro-tractor
Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor (fact, or)
Live like your data…blah blahWord problems
If there’s a fat guy in a pastry shop with a twenty dollar bill and he’s ready to buy
In order to predict his volume change you need to know the value of pi (pie)
And theres a metal train that’s a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her
How long ’til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese
What are the odds that a man chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees
And if Kim is half as old as Bobby who is two years older than twelve year old Tori
For how many more 30 day months will their threesomes be considered statutory rapeCause havin’ sex is like quadratic expansion: if it can’t be split then it’s time to stop
and havin’ sex is like doing fractions, it’s improper for the larger one to be on top
And havin’ sex is like math homework, I do it best when I’m alone in my bed
And squarin numbers’ are just like women, if they’re under thirteen just do them in your headAnd new math