This one goes out to The Redhead:
(A little aside: Yes, I have a lucky accordion, and I also have lucky socks. I like to stack the odds in my favour.)
When I did a little accordion stand-up comedy as a warm-up act for the Slap and Tickle comedy troupe, I mentioned the existence of a web site that covered the topic of having sex with dolphins. (No sex pictures, but really not safe for work, and you may never sleep as well after reading it, knowing that there are people who enjoy this sort of thing. You have been warned.)
I mentioned that one line really got me:
WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you.
I mean, really, do people need to be told this?
Here’s something a little more recent that elcited the same reaction from me: Barbara Amiel’s article, titled No matter how you cut it up, eating people is simply wrong.
Categories
I’m with the band
Last night’s band rehearsal — the first for me — went quite well, if late into the night (I got home at 2:30 a.m.). Pete’s driving the bus song-writing-wise, and he’s excellent: the songs structures are remind me at times of The Smiths, Radiohead (especially with Pete’s singing) and Game Theory (especially with the me manning the synth).
It’s been a while since I’ve played synths with a band — the last time was probably 1999, with our improv ambient electronica band Lion, with Karl Mohr, Krista “Lederhosen Lucil” Muir and Rachel Smith.
Pete’s providing a Korg Triton, which is probably the best synth I’ve ever been assigned. Even through the guitar amp that I used last night, I can hear great things coming from it. I need to fix up my trusty Rhodes keyboard amp this weekend and bring it back to life. The last time it saw active duty, I was with Kingston’s loudest band, Volume, and George (on bass) and I cranked both our instruments through it. That’s probably what blew its speakers in the first place.
The rehearsal space is a little shack out in Mississauga, a satellite city just west of Accordion City. It is blessedly close to a Starbucks and a Rabba (a chain of 24-hour grocery/deli/convenience stores), an absolute necessity for band rehearsals.
Goofy band exchange of the evening:
Wil (raising his fist and looking right at me): Asian gang!
Me (returning the gesture): Asian gang, yo!
Wil (to the other three guys in the band): Look out whitey, me and Joey outnumber you.
Me: Uh, Wil…there’s two of us and three of them. Two is less than three.
Pete: I thought you guys were supposed to be good at math.
There was also an interesting discussion where we concluded that you should not get a Brazilian wax from family members, even if they’re in than line of business. Ewwww!
I think that this will be interesting to all of about a dozen people who read this blog, but here goes:
I’ve posted the results of the OpenSRS Client Survey on The Farm.
If you’re a developer or technically-inclined reseller who makes use of OpenSRS, you’ll probably find it interesting.
If you develop web apps and are interested in what other developers who build web apps think, you might find it interesting.
If you don’t fall under either category above, perhaps you might find this interesting: an article titled Men “stop thinking rationally” in the presence of “beautiful” women. If you’re over fifteen and observant, you’ve probably figured this out already, but it’s always nice when some researcher has some empirical evidence to back up what you’ve always suspected.
“It a great day at [plumbing company]!” said the cheery voice on the other end of the line.
This gave me hope, as I like it when people approach their work with gusto. Especially when I’m about to enlist their services.
The toilet in my swanky upstairs bathroom has slowed over the past year. It still works, but the force with which it flushes has diminished greatly. A carnitas-and-bean-burrito dinner is a “two-flusher”, possibly three if you asked for whole wheat burritos. You get my drift.
The toilet’s design is a little odd — the flush handle, ball and assorted gewgaws that are located in the tank are there, but configured somewhat oddly. Unlike your typical North American toilet, there are two large holes at the bottom of the bowl: one that feeds water into the bowl, and the regular large one in the middle that takes last night’s dinner away. Although I’d had some experience fixing toilets (having worked at a bar back at Crazy Go Nuts University) this one was just a little too odd. It was time to get a pro.
When the plumber showed up, he reached into his pocket and pulled out two paper shoe slipcovers which he slipped over his workboots so as not to mess up our floors. I was impressed; this is what service is all about.
We went to the bathroom and he popped the cover off the tank. There was an expression of surprise on his face as he read some markings on the tank’s back wall.
“Nineteen twenty-nine,” he remarked.
“Is that the model number?” I asked.
“No, that’s the year of manufacture. See?”
He pointed to the inscription. Manfactured 1929.
The toilet wouldn’t look out of place in any modern bathroom, and it certainly didn’t look as if it were made in the era of claw-foot bathtubs and sinks with separate faucets for hot and cold water. In the Jazz Age, it must’ve been considered The Toilet From The Future.
“So can it be fixed?” I asked.
“Nope. You gotta get a new one. Here’s a list of available toilets…”
“Whoa, hang on. I’m a renter here. I’m going to have to talk to my landlord first. But before it gets to that, isn’t there something that can be done to increase the flow? A tweak, or some kind of retrofit?”
“It’s cost too much. The best thing to do is get a new toilet. It’ll last longest.”
“Well, like I said, that’s a major fix for the house. I’ll need to talk to the landlord.”
“All right.” He handed me a price list for new American Standards. “Give us a call when you’ve gotten the go-ahead.” He then pulled out an invoice. “Visit fee…tax…that’ll be fifty-three dollars, please.”
Our exchange couldn’t have lasted longer than two minutes.
Fifty-three dollars. I think I charged my last freelance client three dollars less, and per hour!
When this computer fad blows over, I’m going into plumbing.
Categories
New Blogware layout manager!
Last night, we upgraded Blogware’s Layout Manager — the part of Blogware that lets you visually specify what-goes-where on your blog’s main page — and gave it a more intuitive drag-and-drop interface, which doesn’t require as much page reloading and makes the whole process more responsive. I noodled around with it last night and will revise the documentation today.
Needless to say, this writeup has been made obsolete. Such is the fast-moving nature of web-based software, but happy and productive users are always worth the effort.
Got any questions? Ask me!