Category: Uncategorized

Photo by your ‘umble chronicler.

If you ever pass by 174 Spadina Avenue in Accordion City, the building that is home to the b5media office, you’re likely to see people taking a closer look at the vehicle shown above parked nearby.

Photo by your ‘umble chronicler.

It’s a Piaggio MP3 500, a three-wheeled scooter manufactured by the Italian company Piaggio. It belongs to b5’s CEO, Jeremy Wright. He got it as a replacement when his last scooter was written off (a cabbie cut him off, causing him to spill — and then fled the scene). I like to call it his “Big Wheel”, a reference to the children’s toy tricycle.

Photo by your ‘umble chronicler.

Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about the riding experience provided by a Piaggio MP3:

The unique feature about this three wheel vehicle is that it has all the riding traits and handling characteristics of a motorcycle with the added advantage of a third “footprint” that dramatically enhances stability and stopping distance. It is different than a standard three wheel “trike,” which is only similar to a motorcycle in terms of looks and mechanics. With a trike the geometry of the steering and the consequential inability to lean considerably alters the steering technique and the cornering ability. Conversely, the Piaggio MP3 advertises a 40 degree lean angle; greater than most bikes on the street today. Countersteering techniques used in normal motorcycle riding must be employed to fully utilize and control the MP3.

Potholes, road debris, pavement cracks and even road edge “traps” are substantially reduced threats because the third wheel enhances safety through stability. Even problems with inappropriate braking techniques, normally relegated to two wheel motorcycles, are forgiven because of the weight distribution, low center of gravity and extra balance derived from a third wheel. Having a third wheel which adds the third disc brake gives the rider 50% more tire on the road for traction and 50% more braking.

Photo by your ‘umble chronicler.

The scooter is one of those things that straddles the fine line between “cool” and “dorky”. There’s only one other scooter or motorbike that could out-cool and out-dork this one, and that’s Batman’s cycle from The Dark Knight, shown below:

This is something that I’ve had filed under “I should post this someday”: Joousama Monogatari by the Japanese group Joousama, and it’s a medley of the following Queen numbers performed in Japanese:

• Bohemian Rhapsody
• Bicycle Race
• Killer Queen
• Flash Gordon
• We Will Rock You
• Another One Bites the Dust
• A Crazy Little Thing Called Love
• We are the Champions

Luckily for me, someone’s posted a YouTube video featuring Joousama Monogatari as its soundtrack (and a mish-mash of Japanese anime with a friend’s floating head occasionally keyed in). It makes it easy for me to share this strange musical gem where east meets west and things get weird:

It’s a pretty fascinating listen, especially in the spots where they’ve got to cram the extra Japanese syllables to fit a song written for English lyrics (most noticeable in We are the Champions).

If you’d like to hear a high-fidelity version, there’s one posted on eSnips.

Click the picture to see the original on its Flickr page.

Here’s a short story to accompany the illustration above. I found both on Flickr:

Oh geez, McCain wheezed. Have you guys seen this one? She didn’t give back the money. The “Bridge to Nowhere”? We have her doing the “maverick” thing and saying she canceled the bridge project, but she kept the $320 million and just used it for other stuff. How is that “fighting pork-barrel spending”, exactly? McCain paced around their temporary command center, a kindergarten classroom.

His aides fidgeted in their tiny chairs. They tried to explain that it no longer mattered. Their bungled vetting, one embarrassing revelation after another, was no longer their priority.

No longer a priority?! McCain fumed, waving his arms as high as they would go. How are a pattern of actions that are the opposite of our platform, not a priority? How are beliefs that are so outside of the mainstream, even our mainstream, not a priority? Abstinence-only education? How do we sell that as a positive when her own daughter shows how ridiculous it is? Book banning? Since when is banning books part of our platform? [I think the book-banning accusations are wrong; see here for details. — Joey]

The aides looked at each other. The one who drew the short crayon stood. Palin is more popular than you, sir, she said hesitantly. If you haven’t noticed, we kept her with you on the campaign trail all week, instead of letting her go solo. That’s because no one was showing up to your events. And thousands were asking about hers. There’s uh, there’s talk about flipping the ticket.

Flipping the what? McCain asked. How is that.. what?

Yes sir, the aide continued. Turns out, she’s very cutthroat and crazy ambitious. She’s been talking to senior party people, making her case. She feels her newfound popularity would give the party a better chance at winning, and that you’re just bringing the campaign down. And they’re listening. Apparently there’s some old rule that can be invoked.

Speechless, McCain sank down into his very tiny chair, and felt very old.

Perhaps it’s my 2008-era taste (or lack thereof), but I think that in all cases but the last one, the “befores” in the Brylcreem ad below look better. What do you think?

For starters, it’s now possible to get deep dish pizza from a vending machine:

Photo from the blog she eats.

Before you go blaming this machine on the Obese States of America, please note that its manufacturer is Wonderpizza, a company based in Italy, birthplace of the Mediterranean Diet. Damn you, “Old Europe”!

…is from CNN: Officials: Burglar wakes men with spice rub, sausage whack. The main points of the story, according to the “story highlights” list, are:

• Authorities: Burglar woke victims by slathering one with spice rub
• Burglar whacked the other with an 8-inch sausage, officials say
• Money was recovered from suspect, sheriff says

A suspect has been arrested: “Fresno County sheriff’s Lt. Ian Burrimond says 22-year-old Antonio Vasquez was found hiding in a field wearing only a T-shirt, boxers and socks after the Saturday morning attack. He says deputies arrested Vasquez after finding a wallet containing his ID in the ransacked house.”

I figure that this news item might be the one that makes CNN’s “Turn a headline into a t-shirt” service take off:

Click the photo to see the order page.

While walking to Hampton’s farewell party on Friday, I passed by Jupiter, one of the relatively new shops that have sprung up on Queen Street just west of Spadina in the past few months:

Photo taken by your ‘umble chronicler.

In my youth, a store like this would have to resort to all sorts of semantic and semiotic trickery to avoid getting shut down. They’d say that they were selling generic “smoking supplies” to enthusiasts who liked to “roll their own cigarettes“. These days — at least here in Accordion City — you can be pretty up-front about this sort of business: they say very clearly that they’re in the weed accessory business, with the same sort of pride Hank Hill has in his business of selling “propane and propane accessories”.