Short Story: “Palin Comparison”

Sarah Palin as the Bride of Frankenstein
Click the picture to see the original on its Flickr page.

Here’s a short story to accompany the illustration above. I found both on Flickr:

Oh geez, McCain wheezed. Have you guys seen this one? She didn’t give back the money. The “Bridge to Nowhere”? We have her doing the “maverick” thing and saying she canceled the bridge project, but she kept the $320 million and just used it for other stuff. How is that “fighting pork-barrel spending”, exactly? McCain paced around their temporary command center, a kindergarten classroom.

His aides fidgeted in their tiny chairs. They tried to explain that it no longer mattered. Their bungled vetting, one embarrassing revelation after another, was no longer their priority.

No longer a priority?! McCain fumed, waving his arms as high as they would go. How are a pattern of actions that are the opposite of our platform, not a priority? How are beliefs that are so outside of the mainstream, even our mainstream, not a priority? Abstinence-only education? How do we sell that as a positive when her own daughter shows how ridiculous it is? Book banning? Since when is banning books part of our platform? [I think the book-banning accusations are wrong; see here for details. — Joey]

The aides looked at each other. The one who drew the short crayon stood. Palin is more popular than you, sir, she said hesitantly. If you haven’t noticed, we kept her with you on the campaign trail all week, instead of letting her go solo. That’s because no one was showing up to your events. And thousands were asking about hers. There’s uh, there’s talk about flipping the ticket.

Flipping the what? McCain asked. How is that.. what?

Yes sir, the aide continued. Turns out, she’s very cutthroat and crazy ambitious. She’s been talking to senior party people, making her case. She feels her newfound popularity would give the party a better chance at winning, and that you’re just bringing the campaign down. And they’re listening. Apparently there’s some old rule that can be invoked.

Speechless, McCain sank down into his very tiny chair, and felt very old.

6 replies on “Short Story: “Palin Comparison””


” Palin Asked City Librarian About Censoring Books, Insisted It Was ‘Rhetorical.’ In 1996, according to the Frontiersman, Wasilla’s library director Mary Ellen Emmons said Palin asked her outright if she could live with censorship of library books. Emmons said, “This is different than a normal book-selection procedure or a book-challenge policy. … She was asking me how I would deal with her saying a book can’t be in the library.” Palin said in response, “Many issues were discussed, both rhetorical and realistic in nature.” [Frontiersman, 12/18/96]”

AHAHAHA… these two items from that same article ( ) are the best ones.

* Palin Made a Bet With Her Husband About Whether Murkowski Would Get Into the Race — the Loser Had to Get a Tattoo. “Palin told The Associated Press that she and her husband, Todd, made a bet on whether Murkowski would run. If the governor says he’ll enter the race, Palin has to get the Big Dipper tattooed on her ankle. If Murkowski says no, Todd gets a wedding ring inked on his finger.” [Anchorage Daily News, 5/26/06]

* Palin Obtained a Business License for Marketing and Consulting, Saying that She Wanted To Line Up Her Ducks if She Chose to Pursue It. “Asked about the business registered under her name, Palin said, ‘Rouge Cou, it’s a classy way of saying redneck. It’s a French word, rouge is red, cou is neck. It’s for marketing and consulting, in case I wanted to go that route, I’d have my ducks all lined up and have a business license. I just was granted that business license. … I would like to, with some of the endeavors that I have going on right now, there comes a time when one desires to be paid for them!’” [Anchorage Daily News, 6/8/05]

Sarah Palin took $233 million in taxpayer dollars for the Bridge to Nowhere. She didn’t build the bridge and she didn’t give the money back. Tell Sarah to “Give Back the MONEY!”

Hi Joey,

What in the blog linked to makes you think the accusations are wrong? There’s a lot of comment there — could you be more specific?

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