In Monday’s edition, the Dallas Morning News placed an article about David Foster Wallace’s suicide beside the continuation of an article titled Career Suicide was a Good Move. Ouch.
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Today is rich in irony!
Smart: The Republicans are holding a rally to reach out to minorities.
Not-so-smart: One of the speakers is former Virginia Senator George Allen, of the infamous “macaca” slur, an incident caught on video:
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AIG’s Direct Mail Timing is Perfect
Your Irony is in the Mail
The guy who runs the I Poop Daily blog got this mailing from AIG yesterday:
Click the photo to see the original.
Photo courtesy of I Poop Daily.
Chalk it up to hilariously bad timing coupled with the “lag time” between planning an ad campaign and executing it. It would be a more amusing joke for anyone who got this package if only AIG didn’t have its tentacles everywhere.
Canary Wharf’s Unlucky Landlord
In other funny-but-sad bad timing news, it turns out that the rent on Lehman Brothers’ London office in Canary Wharf — the one featured in the picture in this blog entry — is insured by…AIG. I’d hate to be that landlord right now.
What a day Gabriel Schwartz had! First, he gave this classy interview at the Republican National Convention where he said:
- “More war, less taxes”
- We should take out Iran’s “nukular” facilities and send them the bill (“Plant a flag, take the oil, take the money” were his words)
- Protestors outside the convention should “get a job”
…all the while never losing that smug, self-satisfied smirk.
Here’s the video:
It took karma mere hours to jazz Schwartz up the gunga. Later that night, he met a woman (well, he says it was a woman, but you never know with these Republicans) at the hotel bar and took her back to his hotel room. The last thing he remembers is her mixing some drinks and telling him to get naked.
Had this been the classic urban legend, he would’ve woken up in an ice-filled bathtub with a missing kidney. Instead, he woke up to find that this sexy hero gal (or guy) had made off with:
- A Prada belt valued at $1,000
- A $1,000 “purse or wallet” (Seriously, dude? A murse?)
- A cellphone valued at $1,500
- Earrings prices at $4,000
- A necklace values at $5,000
- A ring valued at $20,000
- A watch valued at $30,000
Schwartz says that all told, he lost $120,000 in the robbery. Who knew being a douchebag was that expensive?
To twist a line from Spaceballs: “May the Schwartz not be with you.”
Read the full story: GOP delegate’s hotel tryst goes bad when he wakes up with $120,000 missing.
One man’s pain is another man’s publicity stunt: “Sal the Stockbroker” and Richard Christy from The Howard Stern Show making out in front of Lehman Brothers in New York on CNN.
“When life gives you a lemon,” the adage should’ve gone, “have a simulated gay make-out session on CNN.”
“Shock Jock” Howard Stern sent Sal and Richard, a couple of his boys, to Lehman Brothers’ HQ in Manhattan to make out behind a CNN reporter as he filed a live report from its front doors as employees carrying boxes made their way out of the building. They quickly cut away back to the news desk where the anchor tried to keep a straight face as she described the prank as two men “pretending to console each other”. Here’s the clip:
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The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator
This would’ve been my name, had I been Sarah Palin’s (possibly illegitimate) child.
The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator takes your name and converts it into something more akin to what Sarah and Todd Palin would’ve named you had you been their child.
Entering “Joey deVilla” into the generator spat out my Palin name: Gravel Blood Palin. Sounds pretty badass!
Here’s what it spit out for other names:
- Accordion hero Jose Martin deVilla: Fire Patriot Palin
- b5media CEO and my uberboss Jeremy Wright: Rifle Panzer Palin
- Sarah soon to be second-in-command John McCain: Steam Fangs Palin
- Her esteemed opponent, Barack Obama: Tarp Lazer Palin
- Adult film star Jenna Jameson: Turbine Yukon Palin
And just for kicks, I entered the name of one of her kids, Trig Palin, and got the considerably more macho Molten Contra Palin. The Name Generator even out-Palins Palin!
Go hit the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator and tell me what your Palin name is in the comments!
George “Mr. Sulu” Takei married his longtime partner Brad Altman yesterday. Fellow Star Trek alums Nichelle “Uhura” Nichols and Walter “Chekov” Koenig attended.
Congrats to the best damn helmsman in Starfleet and his hubby!