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Kim Jong-Un looks like a 1960s Bond villain in his rusty green sub

01

“Set course for the island of Dr. No!”

With the old-school appearance of the submarine designed in the 1950s, the blue-green tones of the exterior photos, and the Great Successor’s poses and angles at which he’s photographed, Kim Jong-Un looks like a villain from the Sean Connery-era James Bond movies in these undated photos released by North Korea.

02

Click the photo to see it at full size.

“Look upon this sub made from Chinese knock-off parts I got on the military equivalent of eBay, and despair!” the photos seem to say. The Soviets called this design “Project 633”, while NATO’s classification for this sub is Romeo. Designed from lessons learned from captured German XXI U-Boats, Romeo-class subs are powered by diesel-electric engines and were first built in the late 1950s. The Union formerly known as Soviet phased them out shortly after 1961 when they switched to nuclear-powered submarines, and they’ve been decommissioned by military powers such as Syria and Algeria. China still has a baker’s dozen of these sub for training purposes, Egypt operates 3 upgraded variants, and Bulgaria still has one in operation.

03

Click the photo to see it at full size.

Naughty Korea (as opposed to Nice Korea) is the leading operator of Romeo-class subs, with 22 in its navy. Four of these — presumably the better-built ones — were bought from China, while the remainder were assembled locally with parts bought from China. They carry Chinese-made Yu-4 torpedoes, which date from the 1960s and have a range of between 6.5 kilometres (4 miles) for the original version and 15 kilometres (9.3 miles) for the upgraded version. In contrast, the U.S. Navy’s Harpoon missiles can hit a target 240 kilometres (150 miles) away — that’s nearly 40 times the range of the Chinese torpedo.

04

“Notify Dr. No that I will be arriving,
and want to see the progress on his jamming device.”

Click the photo to see it at full size.

These photos were released Monday by the North Korean government’s press agency, who reported that Kim, whose polymath powers make Buckaroo Banzai s green as Kim’s sub with envy, taught the submarine’s captain “a good method of navigation”. True to his title, the Great Successor has taken mansplaining to a whole new level.

05

Annyeonghi gaseyo, Mr. Bond.”
Click the photo to see it at full size.

I’ll end this with the closing lines from David Blair’s report for The Telegraph:

Mr. Kim’s decision to pay a high profile visit seems at odds with the official doctrine of the so-called People’s Navy, which stresses the importance of camouflage and concealment.

So seriously were these tasks taken that 2004 was officially declared the “Year of Camouflage.”

On the 10th anniversary of that occasion, however, Mr. Kim allowed photographs of the unlikely pride of his fleet to be released to the world.

Cdre Stephen Saunders, the editor of IHS Jane’s Fighting Ships, summed up: “The fact that the Dear Successor is spending time on what, in any other navy, would be an obsolete submarine tells its own story.”

06

“Minions! Now set course for the island of Dennis Rodman!”
Click the photo to see it at full size.

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Today on Salon: Two smug bearded preppies take time off from their Saturday shopping at The Gap to write “pro” and “con” pieces on libertarianism

going gap

Smug Button-Down Preppie, pictured below, is using the “No True Galt” debate tactic in his defense of Libertarianism

bearded casual white guy 1

Click Smug White Guy ’s photo to read his opinion.

…while Smug Hoodie Preppie, pictured below, has moved to something he calls “libertarian-socialism”, which sounds a lot like “kosher pork rinds”:

bearded casual white guy 2

Click Smug White Guy ’s photo to read his opinion.

Ignoring the content of their articles — which, given the subject matter, is a good idea — these guys are smugness selfie amateurs. Let me show you how a professional does it:

this is how you do smug

Damn straight.

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Pill-swallowing spray: Another product I didn’t know existed

pill glide swallowing spray

Hot on the heels of learning that manga eye makeup existed, I stumbled into this product while picking up groceries at Publix the other day.

I don’t think there’s really a need for this when a solution already exists. It’s my understanding that Americans will eat anything that’s been covered with enough ranch dressing, which is probably way cheaper thanks to economies of ranch dressing scale.

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What the accordion player saw

And now, some photos yanked from my “random snaps” collection on my iPhone that I shot this week.

love seeing palm trees everywhere:

scene 02

Ah, pork. Great meat, or best meat?

scene 06

I manage to get in at least a half-hour of swimming four times a week these days:

scene 03

This is a viable business in a place where winter almost doesn’t exist:

scene 05

I cannot confirm nor deny that I set foot in this establishment:

scene 04

Yes, there are places in America that aren’t full of 300-pound people on motorized sccoters, where people actually walk or bike to places that aren’t located inside a mall:

scene 01

And for the next couple of days, this is my office. It’s within wifi range, and there’s a power outlet out here!

scene 07

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If you’re an eligible Ontario voter, vote!

hudak as the joker

It was a bad PR move for a member of the Liberal Party of Ontario to use this in their campaign materials, but it’s AWESOME for a satirist like Yours Truly to use it in his blog. If you’re an eligible Ontario voter, go and vote in today’s election. I did, even though I’m hundreds of miles away, so you have no excuse. Vote!

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It’s official: Manga is now part and parcel of American pop culture

big manga eyes makeup

Manga, which in North America was once the domain of serious comics fans, Japanophiles, and the creepier guys at sci-fi, game and comics conventions, is now mainstream, if this eye makeup display in Walgreens is any indication.

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Sometimes, a car spoiler is useful

spoiler 0b

Of all the “performance enhancements” you can add to your car, spoilers — not the kind where you give away the story, but the wing- or fin-like attachment you place near the back of a car — are probably the worst. They’re of little to no use on most cars and driving situations, they’re often mounted on the trunk, where their minimal effect is reduced to zero, they’re usually low-quality, and more often than not, they lower the resale value. If you have a spoiler on a car whose drive wheels are on the front and you’re driving fast enough to generate downforce, you’ll actually make your car’s grip on the road worse (think about it: the downward force exerted by the spoiler will be applied to the rear of the car, lifting your drive wheels off the road). They’re a near-certain marker of a person who’s doubly dense, with neither style nor substance.

spoiler 0a

Still, there are those times when a spoiler can be useful. One such case: when you need to change a rear tire and for some reason, you don’t have a jack:

spoiler 1

Or if you’re on the go but still want to eat al fresco:

spoiler 2

Or if you’ve got a big function or hot date to attend and want to make sure your clothes look crisp:

spoiler 3