The combination of many purple-hued street lights (which are the result of a manufacturing defect) and someone’s runaway pet goat have given my neighborhood, Seminole Heights, a Final Destination or The Omen kind of feel.
Fortunately, I am prepared for this eventuality:
Because the Walmart at 15th and Hillsborough (a.k.a. Supercenter #5964) is a bike-able distance from home, has Coke Zero (a vice that makes you productive can’t possibly be a vice) at the best per-unit price, and reasonably well-stocked “ethnic” and “specialty” food sections, I’m there about once a week.
And since I go on bike, I see everything that happens in the parking lot. And at a Walmart — a Florida Walmart — that can be a lot.
But I was really surprised when I saw a pair of jeans, fairly neatly laid out — just as you might lay out your jeans on a dresser for the next day — on a trash can, and on top of them, a black cloth mask, also laid out as if on a dresser.
It was in the middle of asking myself “Now why would someone need to remove their pants and mouth covering in a Walmart parking lot?” that I figured out the answer.
“Well,” I thought, “now’s a good time to leave.”
And I did just that.
Alternate title: Tell me that you don’t know anything about Christianity without saying you don’t know anything about Christianity.
From WFLA News Channel 8, Titusville, Florida (north of Cocoa Beach, northwest of Cape Canaveral):
Deputies say they were on active patrol when they spotted the flames on Craig Avenue in Titusville around 2:12 a.m. on Thursday.
According to police, the fire was in front of a man’s home who they visited around five times in the past six months for illegal burns. Officials say the fires ranged from being on the sidewalk, to taking up the entire street.
Officials say when they went to speak with suspect Scott Taylor he was sitting in his front yard holding a sword in his hand and had a knife in his waistband. Police say he was also actively drinking in front of them then began chugging from a half-gallon-sized Captain Morgan spiced rum.
Authorities say he dropped the knife and sword when asked but could not provide an answer as to why he started a fire in the roadway. He was arrested and taken to the Titusville Police Department.
The police encountered him at two in the morning, which means that the booking photo was probably taken at least an hour later. Very few people photograph well at that time — especially after drinking.
Do the police not give you “do-overs” for your booking photo? I figure that if you can ask to have your driver’s license photo re-taken, you should also have the same right for your mugshot.
Note to self: In case I succumb to the mysterious forces that cause residents to “go Florida,” I should work on my “mugshot face”.
