This is the number one Google Image Search result for “bris”.
I’ve just come from the bris of Gabriel David Maxwell Stevenson, Deenster’s and Chris’ son. I would have to say that there are two major differences between a bris and a baptism:
- Less screaming from the baby. I was expecting more! My guess is that thanks to the modern miracle of local freezing anaesthetic, the incision’s less of a shock than having cold water poured over your head.
- More wincing from the attendees. There wasn’t a guy in the room who didn’t wince a little, and I could’ve sworn I saw a few castration revenge-fantasy smirks on the faces of the womenfolk in attendance. But maybe that’s just because of Freudian peni– er, I mean fixation.
The ceremony was lovely, and the Ginger Ninja and I would like to thank Deenster and Chris for allowing us to be part of the mitzvah. Mazel tov!
So now I’m at work in a vest and tie, and people are wondering if I’m interviewing for another job. I’ve explained that if I did dress up for this morning’s ceremony, my mother would’ve sensed that I entered a house of worship improperly dressed and would’ve used her mental powers to smite me from a distance. Besides, it’s nice to dress up once in a while.
Congratulations, baby Gabriel!
Related Reading
Judaism 101’s “Birth and the First Month of Life”.
The script for the Seinfeld episode “The Bris”. Do not watch this episode before a bris.
The Suit Rant. An article I wrote back in August 2002: “This is going to sound superficial, old-fashioned and judgemental, but I’m going to say it anyway: Gentlemen, you need to own at least one suit in order to be a grown-up.”
