I don’t understand — I was just following the instructions they provided!
Author: Joey deVilla
This picture, courtesy of Google Science Fair, makes it simple to distinguish between the two:
Comedian Pete Holmes has an often-amusing (sometimes he milks a joke a little too long) series of YouTube videos in which he plays Professor Charles Xavier firing various X-Men: Angel, Cyclops, Gambit, Iceman, Jubilee, Nightcrawler, Rogue, Storm, and of course, Wolverine.
Angel
Cyclops
Gambit
Iceman
Jubilee
Nightcrawler
Rogue
Storm
Wolverine
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Yes, Tyrone, There is a Santa Claus is an old-school Superman story with a new-school twist, and it’s high-larious.
Our short story begins with young Tyrone Jenkins III writing a letter to the Daily Planet, asking if there’s a Santa Claus…
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He writes:
Dear Daily Planet,
Is there a Santa Claus?
My friend Billy says there isn’t. He says Santa Claus is for babies. He says it’s all made up and big kids know better.
That’s not true, is it? Can reindeer really not fly? Is nobody checking if I’m good or bad? Is it all a big lie?
I’m asking you because my daddy says everything in your paper is true. Except the part about the moon landing.
Yours Truly,
Tyrone Jenkins III
Daily Planet editor Perry White, upon reading the letter, scrambles his crack team of reporters into action. He gets the best line in the story, too:
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This is an old-school Superman story, the kind where if Superman isn’t taking on some ridiculous villain in a story that’s so convoluted only because his power levels are ridiculously high, he’s meddling in some really inconsequential business. Then Batman gets involved, and just when you think the story’s going to turn into a heartwarming, schmaltzy bit about the True Meaning of Christmas, it becomes an object lesson in the True Meaning of Superdickery, and it’s high-larious. Read on to find out what happens!
Click the comic to read it at full size.
Click the comic to read it at full size.
Click the comic to read it at full size.
Click the comic to read it at full size.
Way to break the fourth wall, Bats.
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Click the comic to read it at full size.
Oh, Batman, you’ll milk that “I watched my Mom and Dad get shot and die” story for just about anything, won’t you?
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If you’re looking for some extremely quick reading this weekend, take a look at the Truthful Statements that Rob Ford Has Made Tumblr:
Gotta love the auto-generated Google ad!
If you’re too pressed for time for even that, try Truthful Statements that Doug Ford Has Made:
Categories
Weekend diversions for you
The boy whose brain could unlock autism
If you’re looking for some interesting reading this weekend, consider The boy whose brain could unlock autism, a longish article on the autism research that Henry Markram is doing, thanks to his son, who was diagnosed with autism. Markram’s hyptothesis is one that many of us who have friends and family “on the spectrum” have long suspected: that they live in an intense world full of “frightful and oppressive noise”, where all their sensory input in cranked up to 11, and where they take in too much and learn too quickly. “While they may appear bereft of emotion,” the article goes, “…they are actually overwhelmed not only by their own emotions, but by the emotions of others.”
The amusing “engagement season” photo
This photo, titled “Engagement Season”, “won the internet” earlier this week:
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Who even knew that a thing called “engagement season” existed? Hey, I’m all for marriage, but the marriage industry is twisting it into a creeping horror, and I empathize with Megan Jones, the woman pantomiming putting a gun to her head.
A news show in her area found her, and interviewed her:
“Somebody called me the enemy of love, which is great,” Jones said in an interview. She’s most likely not that, and her boyfriend says that the photo going viral is “pretty much the coolest thing to ever happen,” Jones said. I’m inclined to agree.
On high rotation on my sound system
Big History: Wolf Blood
If you have to hit the road today, put this on.
The Phenomenal Handclap Band: Shake
Pretty vocals, crunchy guitars, old-school synths, and all-round catchiness.
Porno Mathematics: Zelda Bitches
This one’s about video games and hot girl-on-girl action. Not safe work work or little kids. You’ve been warned.
The list of “surprising benefits” of China’s terrible smog problem can get one more item added to it: it will require pilots to become better at instrument landings. And that’s a good thing, amirite?