Author: Joey deVilla

When The Onion nails it, they really nail it.

Their all-time classic, eerie in its prescience, remains this one:

Click the photo to enjoy its deep wisdom at full size.

It’s technically correct, and we know what kind of correct that is:

Disney’s acquisition of Marvel has made for some pretty good movies and the oh-so-well-done Marvel Cinematic Universe, much to the relief of comic book fans everywhere. Imagine what would’ve happened if Sanrio had bought Marvel instead:

(Yes, I know that the Winter Soldier isn’t in the Avengers…)

It would appear that I’m going with a fashion theme today!

Let’s see:

• Toque (winter hat)? Check.
• Big glasses? Check.
• Bushy beard? Check.
• Sailor Moon top? Check.
• Over-the-shoulder satchel/man-purse? Check.
• Fashionably retro wristwatch? Check.
• Pink and baby-blue camo tights? Check.
• “Meat” socks? Check.
• Converse hi-tops? Check.

I’m sure there’s an iDevice or MacBook Air (or both!) in the man-purse. If he had a fixie, he’d score perfectly on the hipstometer.

Sure, the outfit makes use of the right colors according to The Official Preppy Handbook (the ’80s satire that a lot of teenagers mistook for a style guide), but the padded shoulders — and are those padded arms? — have got to go. I’d rather wear the “used car salesman” jacket in the background. I’m fine with men in skirts, but the skirt above looks too damn narrow.

Click the photo to see it at full size.

I hope it’s going better for you than it is for the owner of the car pictured above.

The move to Tampa wasn’t just about the job, as nice as it is. It was all about Anitra. And after two and a half years together, it’s time to make things official.

We’re getting married. No idea when, no idea where (other than “somewhere in the Accordion Bay area”), and the “how” will be sorted out. But we know why.