Author: Joey deVilla

It wasn’t as crowded as it usually gets at last night’s Kickass Karaoke, but we still had a blast! I got drunk, discovered that they had the karaoke version of Afroman’s Because I Got High (which I dedicated to Coderman). met some interesting new people (read: girls) and caught up with some friends I haven’t seen in a while. Isn’t that what karaoke’s all about?

Remember the character of “Steven”, from the previous generation of Dell Computer commercials? The guy who epitomized commercial fake-stoner-chic? Turns out that he’s not so fake after all…

New York, Feb. 10 (Bloomberg) — Actor Benjamin Curtis, who plays Steven, the young man who said “Dude, you’re getting a Dell!” in Dell Computer Corp. advertisements, was arrested in Manhattan for carrying a small bag of marijuana, police said.

Of course, arresting someone for possession of a drug as benign as weed is, in this accordion player’s opinion, silly. I worked as a DJ at a bar for five years and have played gigs for past ten and have had a chance to see people both drunk and stoned, and the stoners by far are a more pleasant crowd than the drunkards. In three years of busking, I’ve ended up breaking a dozen fights between guys who’ve had too much to drink; meanwhile, the most anti-social thing that someone who’s smoked up has done to me is eat all my fries when I told him he could have some (Drummer Slut Drew, I’m looking your way).

Well, best of luck with the legal battle, Steven/Benjamin. If you ever come Toronto way, do drop me a line and we’ll have…um…brownies or something. And — if you computer spokespeople do hang out together — bring that cute Janie Porche with you. I’ll bet she’s into accordions.

I’ll let the brochure do all the describing for me:

Through conceptually rich and technically innovative artworks, Lee Bul explores the notion of immortality and the desire to transcend the limits of the body. Based in Seoul, Korea, Lee’s past works have included elaborate costumes composed of stuffed body parts, jewel-encrusted decomposing fish, and silicone sculptures of female cyborgs and cyber-organisms. Her newest installation, Live Forever continues her investigation of the body and technology through three self-enclosed karaoke pods and a trilogy of videos. Drawings and sketches related to the project are also on view, along with a foam prototype of the pods.

Low-lying, futuristic vessels, the karaoke pods in Live Forever look as if they might take flight or speed away at any moment. Just climb in, don the headphones, grab the microphone, select a song and you’re off! The darkly tinted windows and enclosed space of each sound-contained pod assure that no one is witness to your private performance. You may find that your voice sounds a bit higher, and maybe even a bit better than usual — Lee has set up the sound mixer to improve and enhance the quality of your voice.

Karaoke — a word derived from abbreviations of the Japanese words for empty (karappo) and orchestra (okesutura) — is a distinct part of urban Korean culture. It differs from the North American version of karaoke in which participants ascend onto a stage to perform for an anonymous audience. In Korean-owned and operated karaoke bars, friends, relatives and business associates reserve private rooms together, entertaining each other and acting as both performers and audience. It is this intimate situation that is the basis of Lee’s installation.

Now feast your eyes on the pods…

You can see these — and even take ’em for a test spin! — at Lee Bul’s Live Forever show, which is on right now at the Power Plant Gallery. Lee’s created fibreglass karaoke “Pods” that look like vehicles out of Star Wars, complete with leather recliner seat, personal karaoke sound system and flat-screen display. You seal yourself in, select your song on the touchpad, slap on the headphones, grab the mike and rock out!

Toronto’s most notorious karaoke host, Carson T. Foster, tells me that Terrence Dick, his contact with the gallery, says that he often has to repair the inner workings of the pods after the gallery closes because people get so physicial with the artwork.

The show runs until March 2nd. Karaoke and technology lovers should hurry up if they haven’t seen it yet.

If you live in lovely Accordion City and are in the mood for stepping out, you might want to check out…

Kickass Karaoke

Kickass Karaoke takes place this Wednesday at the world-famous Bovine Sex Club (recently featured on the Comedy Central/Comedy channel show Insomniac when the featured city was Toronto). Doors open at 9 and host Carson T. Foster says “come early and you’ll get to sing more!”

Be sure to check out the writeup that Kickass Karaoke recently got in Toronto’s alt-weekly NOW magazine.

Carson’s put the list of karaoke tracks he has online. You can see them listed by song title or by artist.

Lederhosen Lucil

Lederhosen Lucil, the cutest one-woman-several-cheesy-keyboards ska wonder in lederhosen comes to the newly-reopened El Mocambo this Friday. She goes on at 9:30.

I discovered Taiwan Beer while shopping for booze for the Chinese New Year’s party I recently threw. Hipsters hate anything that reeks of slick commercial packaging, and believe you me, Taiwan Beer has none of that. Feast your eyes on the utilitarian graphic design on the can:

Note the clean, large and readable sans-serif font for the English name, and the just-as-clean-and-even-larger Chinese name. The can also clearly (in real life, not in this blurry photo) tells the customer that:

• The product in the can actually is beer, and in English and French!
• The amount of alcohol by volume in the beer (4.7% — better than most American beers, not quite up there with Canadian beer)
• and most importantly, the name and address of the company that imported the beer

Finally, a beer that both hipsters and usability specialists can agree on!

I’m sure the Tsingtao Brewing Company refuses to recognize Taiwan Beer as a sovereign beverage.

Recommended reading

Don’t knock the packaging, copy it! The Maximum Entropy site has a page devoted to the Great Taiwan Beer Conspiracy, in which several other companies have ripped off the Taiwan Beer design. Gotta love the hilarious names for the knock-off beers too: the more generalized Asia Beer, Premium Beer, Superior Beer, Top One Beer, the honestly- (if bizarrely-) named Good Cornmeal Beer and my favourite, I Want Beer.

Of course, Taiwan is not the only Asian country with a beer with silly name. In the Philippines, we’ve got Beer Na Beer, which translates as “Very Beer”.

China should recognize Taiwanese sovereignty. After all, they meet the minimum requirements for being your own country, at least according to Frank Zappa, who once said:

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Taiwan Beer won the silver medal at the Brewing Industry International Awards 2002, held in the UK.

Would you believe that there’s a Taiwan Beer song? You can’t be a hipster unless it’s in your MP3 collection. It’s not the silly beer jingle you’d expect, but a Chinese garage band spectacular that starts off with a goofy boom-chuck rhythm but quickly turns into a good mosh pit tune that takes its inspiration from The Ramones. I’ve already listened to it half a dozen times.

(Make sure you’ve read this entry first.)

The scene: Thursday morning. A phone call.

H.: (sounding very rough) Yo…Joe?

Me: Hey, H. What’s up? You sound like you had a pretty good time last night.

H.: Too good…you know what I mean?

Me: Yeah.

H.: Did I say something…weird…last night?

Me: Something about a limo, perhaps?

H.: Heh heh heh…limo…I must’a been really drunk. Sorry ’bout that, Joe.

Easy come, easy go.

Remember the client from this blog entry?

Here’s how last night’s phone conversation with him went. I was calling to let him know that I was going to be at his office in half an hour to install some new software I’d written for him…

Me: Hey, H., it’s Joey. I’ll be over at your office in about half an hour. You’ll like what I’ve got for —

H.: Yo, buddy — [the rest lost in background noise]

The background has the sound of dozens of voices, male and female, some shouting and the clinking of glass.

Me: Can you speak, up, H.? I can’t hear you over the noise. You in a bar?

H.: Speak up, Joe! I can hardly hear you!

Me: I said, “Are you in a bar?”

H.: Yeah, I am. I’m celebrating! Me [garbled] broke up but [garbled] back on again [garbled] party [garbled] day off.

By now it’s obvious that the meeting’s going to be called off.

H.: So dude, let’s not meet tonight. How ’bout tomorrow at 5?

Me: Let me check.

I tap some keys my computer’s keyboard. This is a little phone conversation trick. I’m not actually looking anything up — I already know that I’m being interviewed by a marketing research firm at 5.

It’s doubtful he’ll hear it over the din at the bar, anyway.

Me: No good — I have a meeting with a marketing research firm then. How ’bout, say…(more tapping on the keyboard, I already know that I should be free by 8)…8?

H.: 8 is good. In fact, I’ll pick you up [garbled] — moe.

Me: It’s not a problem — you’re way out in Etobicoke (the westernmost part of Toronto, and I’m downtown). No need to go out of your way to fetch me.

H.: Didn’t you hear? In a limo. I got one for [garbled].

Me: Did you say limo?

H.: Yeah, dude — limo! Be ready — my buddy, who’s driving will get you at 8. We’re gonna party!

He’s the oddest client I’ve ever had, but hey, he pays on time and he’s always full of surprises.

H.: Here, lemme put on [garbled]…[in the background, to someone else] here, talk to my friend.

Girl: Hello? Are you coming with us tomorrow night? Please say you will.

Me: Uhm…yeah! Sure! I’m down.

Girl: Cool. Hey, I like your voice. [garbled] you in radio?

Me: Er…no. Computers.

Girl: And what’s your name?

Me: Joey. Joey deVilla.

Girl: Sounds kind of musical. Okay, see you tomorrow!

H.: So, Joe, you gotta promise me [garbled] out tomorrow night. It’ll be a [garbled] party! Ever [garbled] limo with chicks before?

Me: Oh, maybe once or twice…

H.: [garbled] call tomorrow [garbled] friend [garbled] eight [garbled] software [garbled] database [garbled] drunk [garbled] home by morning [garbled] call! Ciao!

Me: Hey, yeah, ciao.

I’m looking forward to tonight’s client meeting. Better pack the accordion.