Author: Joey deVilla

(I mentioned Law and Order in the last article…)

Just in case your day isn’t surreal enough, Ice-T is now promoting his new beverages, according to this canada.com article:

Samuel Adams, Billy Carter, and even Canada’s own Dave Nichols have done it: Why not Ice-T? Following a long line of celebrity brewers, rapper and actor Ice-T is launching “Royal Ice,” his own brand of malt liquor. But lest he lose out on a potential revenue source, Ice is also reaching out to the teetotalling Ice-T fan with “Liquid Ice,” a non-alcoholic energy drink. The New York Post quotes Ice-T as saying, of the latter, “A true hustler needs energy to keep his game tight.” So true. Hey — if he can sell that line to his boss, Dick Wolf, maybe he can get his Ice drinks product-placed on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit!

Maybe he can rewrite the lyrics to Cop Killer and call it Thirst Quencher.

The ad on TV was for a company that seemed too unreal to be believed. “Romantic rendezvous for attached adults,” the spokespeople said. Even the alliteration they used seemed unreal. At the end of the ad, they flashed an URL on the screen. Since we’ve got wireless Internet and I had my Powerbook on the coffee table, I typed it in.

The company is the Ashley-Madison Agency, and according to their web site, they’re a dating service — with a twist. The slogans on their site are pretty provocative: “For attached women seeking romantic affairs and the men who want to fulfill them” and the pithy “Where monogamy becomes monotony!”

Hmmm…a service that’s going to hook me up with lying cheats with serious issues, make me a homewrecker, get me in all kinds of hassles and probably have some angry husband and possibly kids ready to kill me with their bare hands. Where do I sign up?

Who wants to bet that Ashley-Madison will inspire an episode of Law and Order next season?

Recommended Reading

Adventures in Adultery. A piece from the December 7, 2002 edition of the National Post. The author reports on the sort of responses he got when he signed up.

Oh, yeah, this one’s a keeper: One member, a divorced 36-year-old animated graphics designer, joined the site at the encouragement of a friend’s husband. “I was feeling quite damaged from a previous relationship and wasn’t looking for a commitment, so I figured I’d check out some married men.” An excerpt from Unfaithful: In Alberta, it’s cheating time again, an Edmonton Post article.

You can check out their ads (both TV and radio) as well as the rest of the media’s coverage of their business on their media page.

I’ve moved my blog! The new home for The Adventures of AccordionGuy in the 21st Century is:

http://accordionguy.blogware.com

I’ll be posting there from now on. All my posts for the past month can also be found there.

The archives will eventually be moved there, but if you’re looking for old entries, this will be the place to look for the next little while.

This is the new home of The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century.

(You might note that the site’s name is now “Accordion Guy” as opposed to the single-word “AccordionGuy”. I had to name the site that way because Blogger, my old blogging tool has a limit on number of characters that can be in a blog’s name.)

For the incredibly curious, I moved here for two reasons:

• Blogware, the blogging tool and hosting service where this blog lives, is pretty cool and has a lot of features that i want.
• I have a very direct “in” with the people who develop Blogware, which means that I can influence it. I promise to use these powers only for good.
• Blogware is made by Tucows, the company where I am Technical Community Development Coordinator. Hey man, you gotta eat your own dog food! (Besides, during my job interview, I said I’d move my nifty and reasonably popular blog to Blogware if hired. My word is bond.)

I’ve been posting the same articles that went into my Blogger blog into this blog for the past month of so, and over the next month, I expect to move the archives on my Blogger blog over here.

For those of you who read my technical blog, The Happiest Geek on Earth, please note that all future tech postings are also going into this blog.

One nice feature of this blog is the fact that articles can be categorized into topics, which makes it easy for you, the reader to read only the stuff you want. When you first come here, you’ll see every public blog entry I’ve posted. If you only want to read the slice-of-life stuff that I put into the old Adventures of Accordion Guy, choose Life under the Topics menu (left column, near the top). If you only want to read tech stuff that I put into Happiest Geek, click Geek under the topics menu. Life and Geel will eventually have their sub sub-catgeories with clever names (for instance, Life will have a subcategories like Accordion-related, Accordion City and the ever-popular Yeah…girls…geez…).

The blog is sporting a look that isn’t far from the “default theme”, but I expect to give it the Accordion Guy touch over the next little while. But the accordion and open source-powered mayhem that you’ve come to expect will be there!

Don’t forget that new url: accordionguy.blogware.com!

The spam filter in Mail, the standard Macintosh email application missed these two messages, but in this case I’m glad, as they’re quite good reading…

Future porn star seeks accordion player’s help

From: “Robert” [email address deleted]

Date: Sat Aug 2, 2003 7:27:48 PM Canada/Eastern

Subject: I am looking to audition for gay male adult films …

Hello,

My name is Robert, and I go by the film name Daddy Big Bucks. I am an amateur gay male adult porno actor, and I seek to audition for gay adult films.

Can you assist me, or barring that, can you send me to someone who can help me?

Return of the time traveller

Another sci-fi goodie from the time travelling spammer I mentioned last week. As i write this, there are just over 2 hours and 30 minutes to assist this hapless chrononaut!

From: [email address deleted]

Date: Mon Aug 4, 2003 8:27:47 AM Canada/Eastern

Subject: Dimensional Warp Generator Needed fsr umf

Hello,

I’m a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment:

I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

Please transport unit in either a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Monday August 4th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Standard Time on the dot. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me.

Latitude N 42.47935 & Longitude W 071.17355 and the Elevation is 119.

WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!!

I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now.

After unit has been sent please email me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com

with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.