A better song to time washing your hands

Are you tired of singing Happy Birthday to You to ensure you’re washing your hands for 20 seconds? Want to sing a different, cooler, angstier song? Want to wash for an extra ten seconds?

Just sing the break from Violent Femmes’ Kiss Off. On their eponymous album, this section takes exactly 30 seconds:

I take one, one, one ’cause you left me and
Two, two, two for my family and
Three, three, three for my heartache and
Four, four, four for my headaches and
Five, five, five for my lonely and
Six, six, six for my sorrow and
Seven, seven n-n-n-no tomorrow and
Eight, eight, I forget what eight was for, but
Nine, nine, nine for a lost god, and
Ten, ten, ten, ten for everything! Everything! Everything! Everything!

To slightly twist the lyrics:

You’ll wash your hands, but you won’t mind
You’ll wash your hands, you should do it all the time

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