This is a Google Street View of the Lido Lounge. Click to see it in its full-size glory.
This may actually be more of an Ohio Man story than a Florida Man story, but since it involves a Florida Man in a situation that could’ve been averted with all-too-uncommon common sense, it’s a Florida Man tale.
Antonio Cummings, age 24 and hailing from Orlando, spent last Friday evening at a friend’s birthday at the Lido Lounge, a strip bar in Cleveland (and the cheerful-looking institution pictured above). In the parking lot (also pictured above), he ended up in a discussion with a man known only as “Mike” about the relative merits of Florida’s and Ohio’s strip clubs. A combination of state pride and the strong possibility that Antonio was winning — let’s face, in Ohio, I’d be considered skinny — led Mike to use the tried-and-true American debating tactic: shooting the opposing speaker in the leg.
If you’re looking for some amusing lunchtime reading, go check out the reviews on the Lido Lounge’s Yelp page (it has an overall 3.5-star rating), and enjoy these Yelp user-submitted photos:
This one has a certain Ansel Adams quality to it. I love the bike — it says “I’m saving the earth and checking out strippers! It’s win-win!”
I want to say that he’s going for a Rodin’s “The Thinker” pose, but this is Ohio. He’s probably adjusting “the boys” before entering the club.
Actually, the rainbow is leading you to the pot of gold at the Advance Auto Parts behind the Lido.
Where else would you want to spend the last Saturday before Christmas?
Three observations:
- Those are some pretty good deals if you’re willing to forego first world hygiene.
- Does every strip club have to employ someone named “Candy”? Or do they simply assign that name to an employee, a la Dread Pirate Roberts?
- Whenever I hear the name “Candy”, I’m reminded of this scene from Highlander: