“Moms guessing what porn terms mean” is uncomfortably adorable

glory hole

Distractify’s set of videos in which some very sweet, white-bread moms are presented with terminology commonly used in porn (and in my private life, hur, hur, hur!) and guess what they mean is nothing short of adorable.

Here’s the first one, where they’re asked to suss out the definitions of: BBW, DP, money shot, and glory hole:

In the follow-up video, they’re asked to ratiocinate the meanings of MILF, BBC, golden shower, and Japan’s gift to adult cinematography, bukakke:

I love the definition for MILF that one mom came up with: “Mother In Lactating Fits”.


Photo of the day: Billy Corgan at Disneyland

Despite all his rage, Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan is trapped in the world’s most powerful rat’s cage.

bill corgan at disneyland

Photo from Consequence of Sound. Click to see the source.

And now, music:

Thanks to David Janes for the find!


I like my coffee how I like my Death Stars…

death star coffee

Found via Death Wish Coffee’s Google+ account. Click to see the source.

Today started with an early wake-up to make the 40-mile drive from Westford to Logan Airport to catch a 7:20 a.m. flight. Damn right coffee was involved.


The accidental all-American bathroom

america bathroom

I placed my swim trunks on the shower curtain rack in my hotel room’s bathroom and voila: ‘MURICA!


Life’s too short for plain gray duct tape…

bacon duct tape

…which is why I went with bacon-themed duct tape.


Unexploded WWII bomb washes ashore close to my wedding site


St. Pete Beach, where Anitra and I got married nearly five months ago, had a little excitement this weekend when an unexploded WWII-era bomb washed ashore and was discovered by beachgoer just before 9 on Sunday morning. Over decades of being submerged in the gulf water, the bomb had accumulated a thick covering of barnacles and looked like a log from a distance. Only after taking a closer look did the beachgoer call the police.

wwii bomb

The device was identified as an M122 photo flash bomb. It’s essentially a giant flash bulb used for nighttime aerial photography. If you wanted to get a photo of enemy territory at night back then, you’d drop one of these over the desired area, where it would explode in mid-air and provide enough light — 45 million candlepower — for you to get a decent picture.

m122 photo flash bomb

M122 flash bomb diagram. Click the diagram to see the bomb’s specifications.

The bomb was found on the beach not far from 22nd Avenue. That’s about two miles south of our wedding venue, the Grand Plaza Hotel and Resort. You can find out more about the location on our wedding site:


The situation was resolved in true chain-of-command fashion:

  • Pinellas County Sheriff’s deputies responded to the call, set up a 900-foot “no-go” zone on either side of the beach around the bomb, evacuated a couple dozen nearby homes, and called neighboring Hillsborough County’s bomb squad.
  • Hillsborough County’s bomb squad took a look at the bomb and determined it was military ordnance, and called nearby MacDill Air Force base.
  • MacDill Air Force base sent their ordnance disposal team to detonate the bomb.

macdill ornance team

While the area had been cordoned off, the announcement of the the bomb would be detonated brought crowds of spectators:


…and Maria Lowe, mayor of St. Pete Beach came to observe and play MC:

“I hope you’ve had a great day at the beach with a little excitement,” Lowe said to beachgoers with a laugh as she announced a time for the explosion. “I don’t know if I’m going to have the opportunity to do a countdown, so please do not be taken off guard if you hear a large boom.”

bomb detonation

The Tampa Bay Times reported:

A little after 5 p.m., a bolt of black and gray smoke burst from the ground, followed by a dull cannon thud and the screeching of seagulls wheeling away from the blast. The crowd yipped and clapped and then, as white smoke was still drifting over the dunes, began to scatter. Beachgoers shook out towels, folded up umbrellas and wheeled coolers up the boardwalks to their cars.

The show was over.


Bill Cosby’s “Talks to Kids About Drugs” album, seen in a new light

bill cosby talks to kids about drugs

Bill Cosby’s 1971 album, Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs, won a “Best Recording for Children” Grammy Award the following year. Given what we now know about him and drugging women to have sex with them, I see this album in a whole new light.

Anthony Ruttgaizer, who went to high school with me, imagines the Bill Cosby we now know giving advice to kids about drugs, complete with all the vocal Cosby-isms:

“You see, kids… whatcha wanna do is crush up two or three of the ol’ whamma jamma pills and when she’s not looking, you slip’em into her drink, you see. And five minutes later? Time for the flippity-bippity!”

Here’s a track from Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs. It’s so very 1970s and very Cosby all at once — you might want to turn down the volume on your device before playing it. You’ve probably never heard it before, and in the best pusher tradition: Hey man, the first one’s free!