F*** him right in the paycheque, misuse of the word “substantial”, and other douchery [Updated]

shawn simoes - clean version

Click the photo to see the uncensored version.

Until early this week, Shawn Simoes, pictured above, had a nice job. Note the use of the past tense. If you live in the Toronto area and have been watching or reading the local news, you likely already know why he no longer has said job.

The video

If you don’t know why, watch this video below, taken at Sunday’s soccer match, immediately after a group of idiots rushed the camera where CityTV news reporter Shauna Hunt was working and yelled “Fuck her right in the pussy!”, having been inspired by a videobombing prank that inspired copycats despite being a hoax. Hunt decided to challenge them and ask why they’d do such a thing:

The instigators

Sadly, there were different groups of guys waiting to yell the magic “FHRITP” phrase (as it’s called in polite circles). One guy managed to pull it off…


…and others were quick to back him up with a “Well played, sir!”. Hunt then went to confront a gaggle of guys in the background who’d been waiting for the opportunity to strike:


Look at the background and you’ll see what sets Toronto apart from most places: it’s so multicultural that we even have douchebags of colour!

Mr. Vocabulary

Next came this douchenozzle, who attempt to justify the unjustifiable with a classic debating tactic: attempting to sound smarter by using highfalutin’ words that he doesn’t even understand:

quite substantial

I’ll leave it to Mr. Inigo Montoya of The Princess Bride to respond:


It was later found that Mr. Vocabulary works at the machine vision tech company Cognex, who released a statement as soon as that fact became known:

“While the individual was attending the event on his own time and was not at a Cognex activity, the views expressed are totally inconsistent with Cognex’s values, and we find such comments reprehensible. We cannot comment on employee matters publicly, but we take this issue seriously and will be addressing it.”

He’s probably having a bad time at work this week, but his troubles are minor next to the next guy’s…

The guy who just couldn’t keep his mouth shut

And finally, we come to the accidental douchelord, Shawn Simoes. He wasn’t even involved with the FHRITP and could’ve walked right by without saying a word and drastically chaging his life. However, using judgement so poor that it’s downright Floridian, he stepped into the fray to defend the actions of his fellow bros:

shawn simoes 2

Here’s a transcript of their exchange:

Shawn Simoes: Fucking hilarious, I don’t care what you say, I am laughing!

“Quite substantial” guy: It has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with everyone else.

Reporter Shauna Hunt: When you talk into my microphone and say that into my camera to viewers at the station I work at it is disrespectful and…

Shawn Simoes: I don’t care it’s fucking hilarious!

Shauna Hunt: Okay why is it so funny though? [directed at Shawn Simoes] Why is this funny?

Shawn Simoes: It is fucking hilarious! We’re not the only people, it happened in England.

Shauna Hunt: Do you know that it’s old? It’s really not funny.

Shawn Simoes: It’s been like a year!

Shauna Hunt: It’s been longer than that.

Shawn Simoes: You’re lucky there’s not a fucking vibrator in here, like in England, because it happened all the time. It’s fucking amazing and I respect it, all the time!

Shauna Hunt: If your mom saw you-

Shawn Simoes: Oh my mom would die laughing eventually!

The employer who had to avoid more bad PR

hydro one logoEven though Simoes didn’t have the good sense not to be a boor with a TV news camera pointed right at him, he might’ve been just another dick on the internet if it weren’t for his employer’s current situation.

Simoes worked at the public electric utility company Hydro One (“hydro” being local shorthand for “hydroelectric power”). If you live outside Ontario, you might not be aware of these three factors that are crucial to this story:

Simoes’ actions and public salary would paint them as a bunch of well-paid douchebags, which is probably why they quickly fired him…

…and shortly thereafter, in a speedy and efficient manner that is oh-so-very-uncharacteristic of Hydro One, they excised his name from the Sunshine List. The Huffington Post managed to capture it before the deletion:


It’s likely that their move was based more on Machiavelli than morals.

Cognex, while it’s got a controversy of its own, isn’t facing a PR crisis like Hydro One’s, had a great quarter, and its prospects look bright. Still, it’s likely that they’ll take some disciplinary measures for Mr. Vocabulary. They may even give him a dictionary.

One last look

shawn simoes 2

Well, it looks as though Shawn Simoes will have plenty of time to discuss the supposed hilarity of this incident with his mom, who may laugh about it…eventually.

Updated Wednesday, May 13 to provide context for the photos, a transcript of Shawn Simoes’ exchange with reporter Shauna Hunt, and more background about Hydro One (thanks to Rohan!).

17 replies on “F*** him right in the paycheque, misuse of the word “substantial”, and other douchery [Updated]”

re: ‘douchebags of colour’

If you watch the clip, it’s not the guy wearing the scarf, being interviewed, (in your second image) who says the vulgar phrase. It’s the looks-pretty-Caucasian guy behind him with the faux-hawk holding the cigarette who says it. (The guy being interviewed was responding to the reporter’s question, saying “2-1 is better than…” when he gets interrupted.)

Your second image is somewhat ambiguous, in that offhand it seems to suggest that the guy being interviewed (with his mouth open in the image) said the vulgar phrase and hence is a douchebag, which is not the case. You might want to add an arrow clarifying who spoke the quote.

Fortunately, I live in the USA where we are free to say what we want without the government punishing us for having an unpopular viewpoint.

Funny post…that “quite substantial” comment slayed me. I’m thrilled the guy lost his job, I hope the other guy does too. And to El gato montes, you might want to educate yourself on what ‘freedom of speech’ actually means. So typical to want the freedoms of a democratic society without any of the responsibilities. Grow up.

Freedom of speech means having the right to say whatever you want. It also means that you have the responsibility to accept the consequences of your actions, which in this case is spewing hateful nonsense. I hope that the employers of the other douche-canoes fire them as well.

Did you guys miss the fact that he works for the government? In the USA “It is well settled that ‘a State cannot condition public employment on a basis that infringes the employee’s constitutionally protected interest in freedom of expression.'” (Garcia v. Ceballos 2006) Speaking to a reporter on the street as a private citizen in a way that doesn’t impact his public employers ability to conduct its business is absolutely protected speech. 

I’m neither OK with people saying crappy things like that, nor am I OK with public shaming of people who say crappy things like that. I think the damage to their lives is far out of proportion to their behavior when it is done like this.

El Gato- he doesn’t work for the government, he works for Hydro One, which is in the public sector, but not government. He may have a case to argue for wrongful dismissal, but it’s pretty likely that he’d lose. Poor judgement frequently leads to consequences.

Poetentiate: Dude, for the past dozen or so years, it’s been my job to speak on behalf of whatever company I’m working for, so it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out.

This is what the social media generation considers news…and a debatable topic in the 21st century…where 97% of people believe some witch from 2000 years ago will harvest their soul. …meanwhile weapons proliferate. .. the planet heats up… the ocean dies… great TV. Nice highlights.. extinct.

I’m with Nate, forget the idiots talking, I’d like to know who the ‘Mohawked Dude’ who came up behind them, who said it in the first place. Whats his name & story, as he looks like the biggest douchbag in the clip, yet no one is going after the guy who said it. Anyone recognize him from the cave?

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