The “OMG, I really moved to Florida!” roundup

On Monday afternoon, I will have been an official resident of Tampa for exactly one week. To celebrate, here are a whole mess o’ links about moving to and living in Florida.

The “Florida: Where America Goes to Die” T-shirt

If you’re looking for a darkly funny T-shirt and have US$25 to spare, you might want to head on down to the Cracked store and purchase the “Florida: Where America Goes to Die” shirt. I love their promo copy:

Like the elephant graveyard of the United States, it seems American’s instinctually know they’re supposed to wander as far south as possible before dying. But aside from the staggering elderly population of the state, it’s also full of all kinds of other mortal terrors. Alligators, snakes, spiders and sharks make Florida a sort of abbreviated Australia. But rather than fear it, we’re proud to host Death’s favorite vacation spot in North America, damnit.

I especially love the “abbreviated Australia” bit.

The “Fake or Florida?” segment on Late Night with Seth Myers

On one of the first episodes of the new Late Night shows with Seth Myers at the helm, they held a mini-game show called “Fake or Florida?” in which contestants had to guess as to whether a new headline with an outlandish-sounding story taking place in the wacky Sunshine State was made up or real. It’s really hard to tell.

Yes, I’m familiar with the “Florida Man” Twitter account

I recently learned that if you tell people that you’re moving to Florida, the odds are damn near certain that they’ll very quickly tell ask you if you’ve seen the Florida Man Twitter account. On the off-chance that you haven’t heard of Florida Man, click on the picture above and enjoy the links to articles that contain the phrase “Florida Man” or feature some news about something in Florida gone seriously weird. There’s also a Florida Woman account, in case you can’t get enough.

I now live in one of the top 10 moved-to cities in America

This top ten list of moved-to cities in the US is based on data from Penske Truck Rental as was published last month in Huffington Post:

• 10. Las Vegas
• 9. Denver
• 8. Chicago
• 7. Seattle
• 6. Houston
• 5. Phoenix
• 4. Orlando
• 3. Dallas / Fort Worth
• 2. Tampa / Sarasota
• 1. Atlanta

I may soon be living in the third most-populated state in the Union

Florida is currently the 4th most-populated state in the US with an estimated 19.55 million people on July 1, 2013. The state of New York’s estimated population for the same date is 19.65 million. While New York’s population is growing at a rate of 1%, Florida’s grew 2.7% from 2010 to 2012.

According to the Tampa Bay Tribune, a good chunk of this growth is expected to happen in two corridors:

• The Tampa Bay/Orlando corridor, straight through to the “Space Coast”, and
• The Tampa Bay/Jacksonville corridor, which is great news for aging Lynyrd Skynyrd fans.

The Tribune also says that it’s people leaving New York who are feeding the Florida growth. One notable example they cite are the founders of the upcoming photo-sharing app WeVue, who moved their operations from New York City to Tampa last year.

Of course, everything I just covered is academic.

The real reason I’m here:

Eric Ravenscraft wrote in Lifehacker that the best summary of long-distance relationships he’s ever heard is this:

“A long-distance relationship isn’t really a relationship. It’s just the promise of one.”

He doesn’t think it’s entirely true — and neither do I — but we agree that his friend has a point. When you live a great distance from your significant other, you’re living on relationship credit, where promises are debts that accrue interest, and sooner or later, you’ve got to make good. While both of us have relocated great distances, I’m currently the one with the flexibility and job opportunities, and I’m better suited to hot weather than she is to cold. She’s also a homeowner in a city where real estate is cheap, and while I was a renter where it’s expensive as all get-out.

And hey, what’s the Best Midlife Crisis Ever without a big move to a place that caters to exactly that sort of thing?