Everyone in Toronto Wears the Same Damn Coat

canada goose parka

While retrieving my winter jacket at various parties or coat checks in town, I’ve been riffling past Canada Goose parka after Canada Goose parka after Canada Goose parka. Although the Canada Goose brand made its debut in the same year that Sputnik was launched, the brand’s star rose in the late 1990s and over the past 5 years, you can’t step out in this city in winter and not see the Canada Goose logo patch.

Local video guy John R. spent a couple of hours walking around Accordion City’s busiest intersections and put together the amusing rap video Goose Goose Duck: Everyone in T-Dot Wears the Samn Damn Coat:

Here are the lyrics:

Walking in the city
and some people pass you right by
You’re not drinking but you can’t help but be thinking
“Didn’t you just pass that girl and guy?”
You ignore the intellection
but the next intersection
has you right back questioning why
when you look in each direction
you’re seeing a reflection
of the same damn girl and guy
This all has you non verbal
Are you walking around in circles?
Is your sense of direction gone?
No they’re tailor-made equal
it’s just different people
with the same fuckin’ jacket on.

Everyone in T-Dot wears the same damn coat
Is it cheap? Nope!
800 bucks, it’s Canuck
Goose Goose Goose Goose Goose Goose Duck
It’s a shopping spree
on the TTC
newscasters on TV
Why you asking me
if this coat was free?
I need it for extreme conditions in my SUV
Heat only goes to 3
This setting takes forever to warm my knees.

And if you’re all down
It’s inside what counts.
I better use credit.
because my cheques will bounce.
For some its a symbol, shows we paid our dues.
We got the guy in coat check totally confused.
I got to sign up
I got to join the parade
Patch proudly displayed
A call to financial aid
I go to Yonge and Eg
when the sales days done
They’ve sold 99 jackets
and they’re all the same one.

Ok some come short
some cover the leg
Which came first, the Yonge or the Eg?
I paid 600,000 to live in a box
So why not pay 600 to freeze of my cock.
Got to have it I got to fit in
I’ll even wear the knock off with the dead birds in
with the dog and kitten trim.
Lined with Garfield and Odie
Substitute the Coyote.
and I’m CHILLING like Mo Dee.

People in the city just wear them because they’re pretty.
but they wear them up north where there’s an undeniable chill
Am I talking about the arctic?
No Markham; Richmond Hill.

I knew this girl
She said “best money spent”.
She wore the coat, on a date we went.
Head to the subway. Pull out our token.
Straight to dinner with this girl that’s smokin’.
Got to our stop at Yonge and D
Then every single person looked the same to me.
Thinking how much cash this company must be reeling in.
She walked into the crowd and disappeared like a chameleon
The writings on my pants,
the wrong business I’ve been dealing in.
UGG Don’t feel so Wellie bathroom stall I will be kneeling in.
What a croc pants didn’t open.
Jumped and caved my ceiling in.
I’ll see you 2016 at the goodwill bargain bin.
Not doubting quality stitching
Locally made, no kids in the kitchen
But everyone in T Dot is wearing the same damn coat!

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