Chips and Incontinents

This reminds me of driving through rural upstate New York with an anarchist girl I was in love with that is probably now a lawyer. We were on our way to a Mumia Abu Jamal march in Philadelphia. It was 1998.

We stopped at a gas station, and when we walked in there were some hillbilly types working behind a counter. There was a selection of guns on the door, and the walls were covered in hunting trophies.

They were in a passionate conversation, and one guy says to the other, “Damn niggers want respect, but they are gonna have to earn it.” To which the other fellow replies, “Cletus, don’t SWEAR when there’s a lady in the store.” (I admit, I don’t remember if his name was Cletus.)

ANYHOW, I bought some “no fat” Pringles and we jumped back in the car, because the woman’s washroom had no door. We’re driving down the road, and I’m like, “Score! No fat Pringles? America is awesome!” to which my companion says, “Yeah, but you won’t shit right for a week.”

It was at this very moment that I read the label on the side, which said in 15 point type: MAY CAUSE ANAL LEAKAGE.

I just about yakked and tossed the can out the window on the highway… and I remember clearly that it landed in an existing pile of garbage.