Whenever an airplane manufacturer releases a new model plane, they always trot out special versions showing planes equppied with cocktail lounges, massage stations and sleeping berths. However, the airlines who purchase these planes see things differently: their goal is to pack as many people as possible on a flight. Seat space has diminished by 3 inches on average since 1978 and now Airbus is proposing making the term “cattle class” less a figure of speech by proposing a standing-room concept.
I am reminded of the South Park episode where Mr. Garrison invents a new vehicle that is controlled by four suspiciously penis-like handles, one of which goes into the driver’s anus. “It’s still better than the airlines,” one character says. The vehicle, a parody of the Segway, is such a success that the airlines go bankrupt and have to be bailed out by the government.
Maybe we should write to the airlines right now and say “If you install those standing-room seats, I’m never flying with you again.”