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Sideshow Bob Explains the Conservative Party’s Appeal

A couple of days ago, Damian “Daimnation!” Penny wrote a blog entry in which he speculated how various characters on The Simpsons would’ve voted in last night’s election. It’s an amusing read, and the comments range from the  funny to the foamy (I suspect that that commenter is shopping for Asian mail-order brides and some marital brass knuckles).

I’ll throw my hat in the ring by suggesting that Harper use the speech that Sideshow Bob made after getting elected mayor of Springfield, with the appropriate word substitutions. I think it shows what attracts people to the Conservatives and how their policies simply replace the “nanny state” they despise with a “nunny state”:

Because you need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That’s why I did this, to save you from yourselves.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a city to run.

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