“Mission Passed! Respect+”

Graphic: 2005 Canadian Blog Awards button. It looks as though I made the cut in Round One of the 2005 Canadian Blog Awards, where The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century is nominated for “Best Blog”. My thanks to all of you who voted for me, and especially Sass from Postmodernes Sprachspielen (who made the cut in three categories) for nominating me!

Let me restate this, in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas style…

Graphic: Parody of a mission briefing from 'Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas'.

Voting for Round Two starts tomorrow and runs from then until Friday, December 9th. You can vote once per day (and probably per IP address).

In the meantime, here’s my esteemed competition, listed in the order in which they appear on the awards site. Go give their blogs a look:


Meanwhile, at “The Farm”…

Photo: Woman inserting 8-inch floppy disk into drive of 1970s/1980s-era computer.

…I’m rockin’ it old school with some more Advent calendar action for you programmer types:

Accordion Guy Advent Calendar, Day One: Books on “Picking Up”

Photo: Figurine of Santa playing the accordion. I’ve already described Advent calendars in a posting I just made to The Farm, so I’ll simply repeat it here:

Advent, in case you’re not familiar with the term, is the name for the four weeks leading up to Christmas. It’s derived from the Latin adventus, meaning “arrival”.

One traditional arising from Advent is the Advent calendar, used for counting down the days from December 1st until Christmas. They’re typically boxes with 24 pieces of chocolate, each piece placed its own compartment, with one compartment for each day leading to December 25th. When I was younger (and not worrying so much about my sugar-and-carb intake), an Advent calendar was one of the delights of the Christmas season.

In the spirit of the season, The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century, will feature an “Advent Calendar” entry every day from now until the 24th. Each of these entries will feature some kind of downloadable goodie that I think you’ll find interesting or amusing.

Graphic: 'Chrismukkah' card featuring bagels with cream cheese and holly.

The fun won’t stop on the 24th. The 25th marks the first night of Chanukah. I started celebrating it last year with Wendy and her family and ate enough latkes to make the baby Atkins cry. This year, we’re kicking it up a notch chez deVilla — Wendy and I picked up a menorah for our place (her usual one’s in storage back in Boston) and Mom’s picking one up for the 1st annual extended family Chrismukkah party on the 27th. Hopefully Wendy’s parents will be able to fly up for this bash, a rather Norman Rockwell-ish affair complete with group singing — not just karaoke (mom has two karaoke machines) but with real live instruments with Mom and cousin Anna on piano, Uncle Jorge on guitar, cousin Kara on her flute and me playing you-know-what.

All that is a preamble for this simple statement: for the eight nights of Chanukah, I’ll also post some kind of downloadable goodie.

Accordion Guy Advent Calendar Day One: Books on “Picking Up”

(Attention British readers: I believe the equivalent slang term for “picking up” is “pulling”.)

The first Advent goodie is inspired by a couple of things.

The first is Tel Aviv is a Really, Really Small Town, an entry in Lisa’s blog, On the Face.

The entry talks about a pick-up artist in Tel Aviv who has seduced her and a number of her friends, using the same “script” each time.

The second is a handful of emails I’ve received over the past few months, the gist of all being “Hi Joey, I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and thought you might have an answer to this: how can I get a wife?” Unfortunately, there’s no easy answer to this question and as far as I can tell, they don’t hand you some kind of answer key to dating when you get married.

(Here a hint, though: there is a difference between being nice and being too nice. Respect is a part of love, and you can’t respect a doormat.)

So here’s the goodie: a handful of ebooks explaining pick-up techniques [511KB, .zip archive of PDF documents]. They are:

  • Defeat Shyness
  • FAQ on Women
  • The Get Laid Guide
  • Seduce and Destroy
  • and the one with my favourite title — Mars and Venus Revisited: The Rebuttal from Uranus

These books come without endorsement from Yours Truly. Having skimmed them, I can say that there are some gems of truth in them; there are also some suggestions that I would say are silly and some that I would strongly advise against. No guarantee or warranty is implied in my posting these. Feel free to discuss the content of these books in the comments.

Super bonus fun: Read these books right after watching Magnolia for that extra-special feeling.

Photo: Tom Cruise as 'Frank T.J. Mackey' from the film 'Magnolia'.
Respect the magnificent pork sword!



Kathy will be annoyed that I found this first:

Photo: Magazine parody -- 'Cosmoportestant'.
The three characteristics of WASP living are: constipation, keeping up appearances and mayonnaise, mayonnaise, mayonnaise!